Lonely

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The Lonely Pillow...

...and its female counterpart.

Loneliness is angst caused by being alone. You fail it, where it = the ability to make a meaningful connection with even a single member of your species. Because lonely people are socially retarded, they are easily influenced by whoever pays attention to them: this is the basic recruiting tactic of Furries, Scientologists, Gays, etc. A generation of awkward loners, who in earlier days would have done science-fair projects and collected comic books, have found the internets and are now busy writing clumsy slash for their fursonas on LiveJournal.

Loneliness is also the root cause of many wider societal ills, from cutting to World of Warcraft to cybersex. The only known cure is to take a shower, meet some people who don't wear t-shirts with catgirls on them, and to stop being such a boring, self-absorbed luser.

[edit] Symptoms of Loneliness

• A large number of anime DVDs
• Buying wishlist items for camwhores
• Being a camwhore
• Collecting plastic crap
• Eating to dull the pain
• Excessive fapping
• Using Fake Your Space

[edit] People who are Lonely

• Pretty much anyone who writes on, or is written about on this website
• People who are left alone.

[edit] People who are Especially Lonely

• DaxFlame
• Prince Jeremy
• emibooger
• Aspies
• 16 year old girls
• The population of Second Life
• /b/
• You