Dot HACK Sign
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Just what we needed; Not only is it crap cyberpunk, but it's JAPANESE anime crap cyberpunk for pedophiles. The story of the original anime revolves around a girl named Tsubasa or Tsukasa or something, who has logged on, and can't log off. The BAD GAIZ AI, Morgana, uses Tsukasa to (I shit you not) bitch and moan at teh GOOD GAIZ AI, Aura, so that she'll be so annoyed or something that Aura will go into Suspend Mode, and let Morgana rule The World. Note that's capitalized, because apparently, in the future, there's only one game, it's called The World, and it is stupid and basic as Hell. Literally half the users don't even leave their starting town, probably because fighting monsters is so pointless and repetitive. The entire plot of Hack Sign takes place without the characters accomplishing anything of merit (Just like real MMORPGs). By the time they figure out Morgana is *gasp* bad, Morgana decides to kill them all, and the series ends by everyone just logging off. Seriously, they END THE SERIES by having the characters just decide to go do something else with their time (Just like real MMORPGs usually end). Too bad the RABID fanbase didn't pick up the hint.
As filler so that they could actually manage to have a full season of this crap to market to slow 13-year-old boys basement-dwellers, they had a pair of girls continually hit on Tsukasa, who has a male character in The World, despite being female in real life (The opposite of real MMORPGs), and the most incredibly effeminate player in The World.
To listen to fans of dot Hack Sign (commonly referred to as Hack-Men), the major point of dot Hack is it's "Character Development". This is because they are stupid.
It is a series of a supposed mystery that is doled out in milligram increments. The whole plot can be written on a restaurant napkin in magic marker without even needing to unfold one of the creases. Even then, it's just the same old "Computars are pwning the intarwebs!" plot that was worn out about two decades before The Matrix killed the genre once and for all. The so-called character development is over the same old ONE-dimensional archetypes as any other anime that doesn't even bother to have pretensions of character development. That they did is simply a pure travesty of narrative.
The reason for this is that the plot is written specifically for the Last Thursday attention span of said boys, and the ONLY real reason anyone watches the anime is because that part of the intro song where Subaru's clothes start falling off.
As for the games, they as are stale as your mom's muff. Eat if you dare.
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[edit] dothack GU
Even worse than the first mentioned piece of crap, ZA WARUDO then burnt down and the World died. But you wish it would for-fucking-ever. Cunts Crazy Corp then created Teh Warudo R:2, and soon new players came, like the uber internet badass kid Haseo whose character looks like a fucking goth emo, the Pedobear Wanna-be Kuhn, the attention Whore Endrance, fucked up kid in disguise Sacockee, and Ovan, whose primary goal is to get rid of his Internet Granted STDs so that he can fuck his loli sister. I'm not kidding, the Internets now can get you STDS. Fucking A.
[edit] Rating
- Action: 0 - It's mostly bitching and moaning. If you can watch this without falling asleep... well, you probably think the "Bradys Go To Hawaii" was an action-film
- Lulz: 1 - there is exactly ONE funny joke in the entire dot Hack universe, and that's that Altimit, the uber OS that is nothing more than a hacker backdoor is supposed to be built upon Linux. This joke, of course, goes WAY over the heads of the intended audience. That is a crying shame.
- Furry Gayness: I'm going to say 7 just to be safe; I'm sure someone screws a Puchiguso eventually, andrule 34 Death Grunty. But fuck that, Attention Whore Elk does have sex with Mia, the World's only furfag. Not only that, but R:2 added furries!
[edit] See Also
- I shit you not - dot Hack//Wiki All 30 actual facts about the game, and all 3,000,000,000 unsubstantiated claims, and rumors about the "plot".
[edit] Trivia
- Helloismileyou likes .hack//SIGN.
- SORA GROWS UP TO BECOME HASEO, the protagonist of .hack//GU.
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Dot HACK Sign is part of a series on Anime. |
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