God
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
God created the internets over 9000 years ago for the lulz. What happened is recorded in the Bible, an excerpt from which is shown below.
- 1. In the beginning, God created the lulz and the internets. The internets were without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the camwhore: and the spirit of God destroyed Oclet's liver.
- 2. And God said LET THERE BE LIGHT. And there was light. And God saw that the light was good, for the Light was too bright, and prevented even him from seeing the fat of the Camwhore.
- 3. And God created a firmament in the midst of the internets, to divide the internets from the internets; and He called the firmament Usenet.
- 4. And God said, "Let all the failures of the internet be gathered together into one place, and let them spam that place relentlessly." And it was so, and 4chan was born.
- 5. And God said, "Let forums multiply, and be fruitful, and fill the internets with their drama." And it was so.
- 6. And God said, "Let all manner of fucktards write on Livejournal; and let them multiply, and be fruitful." And fucktards came forth in all manner of communities, and warred with each other relentlessly; and lo, some multiplied, and others didn't, according to their kinds.
- 7. And God saw that it was funny, and lo! He lolled.
- 8. Then God said "Let us create a Wiki on the Internet; And let it catalogue Drama, so that those who are not all-knowing may attain enlightenment; and let them lol.
- 9. So God created Encyclopedia Dramatica for his own amusement, and created Dramacrats to maintain it; funny and ironic He created them. And God said to the Dramacrats, "Lo! I have given you the internets; multiply with captchas, and fill the internets and catalogue it, and you shall have knowledge of every faggot and every furry on the interweb.
- 10. And God saw everything that He had made, and He laughed at furries and smote them mightily.
- 11. He also smote the Jews, for they killed his son.
Recently, he was decisively proven not to exist, thus ending all arguments ever. Self-righteous atheists all over the world simultaneously reached orgasm in their parents' basements.
God exists in Trinity, which means that he has multiple personality disorder. His three personalities are:
- The Father
- This is the coolest version of God. The Father smites people and pwns them in the ass for pretty much anything, from homosexuality to being of the wrong race.
- The Son
- This version of God is a raging faggot who took it up the ass from rubberduc. Strongly noted for his ability to turn water into santorum.
- The Holy Ghost
- This version of God allows God to watch everyone in the world fucking at once.
Contents |
[edit] His Views on Sex
God is, in fact, a sick fuck. He believes that if you are married and both consent, then pretty much anything can go on between the two of you and its awwwwwright.
At least 100 years ago, in response to pressure from the heathens his missionaries were trying to convert, he began to advocate other kinds of sexual acts like buttsex and Bukkake. Many Christians still fear anal, and some are quite sure God was high as fuck when he invented pegging. However, fucking pies is still fair game.
- Song 2:3, "Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste."
- Song 4:16, "Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance. Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!"
[edit] Criticism
Some people believe that due to the fact that god is omnipotent and never dies, that he haxorz life. Due to this, several people have tried, but failed at banning god, and are now known as Jews.
There are many different schools of God fanboiz, each of them known as a religion. Religions include Christianity, Judaism and Islam.
[edit] Proof A Benevolent God Does Not Exist
[edit] Proof A Benevolent God Does Exist
- Fursecution
- Most of lynrd skynrd died in a plane crash
[edit] Gallery
God, as worshipped by emo kids. |
God, as worshipped by agnostics |
God, as worshipped by fat people. |
God as worshipped by Scientologists. |
Kenneth Eng. God of the universe. |
|||
God, as worshipped in Cuttlefishism. |
God, as worshipped by gay people. |
||
God, as worshipped by the Nazis. |
Ted Jesus Christ God [1] |
||
[edit] Jewtubes
This Man Is Baptist
[edit] External Links
God is part of a series on Religion |
Deities Prophesies Religious Holidays Religious Icons Fanclubs ArchVillians Key: * represents a Deity or Holiday of Trollianity.
|
---|
God
| Science Theory
Bill Nye • Theoretical physics • God • Existence • Memes • Richard Dawkins • Computer Science III Proven by Science JEWS DID WTC • God hates fags • Cubic time • Scientology • Trepanation • Science in Action Drugs! Sex! Creationism! Fire! Lens flare! Diabeetus! Heart!
|
---|