Nigga FAQs
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THIS IS A SUB-PAGE OF THE ARTICLE NIGGA.
Due to some admins niggaz complaining about having too much material on the main article to wade through, we moved the FAQ to its own page, where it can grow as thick and wide as some of de best cotton patches in de Confederacy!
Frequently Axed Questions 'bout Niggas. These questions are provided courtesy of Dr. D. Clowndie, head Groidecologist of the Southwest Primate Research Institute. He is at the forefront of an anti-conspiracy movement that has recently been sweeping the blue states.
[edit] Q: Are Niggas really dumber than White Folks?
Yes, dey sho'nuff be's dummer den alla dem honkeys! In fact, Nobel Prize Laureat Dr. James Watson, who along with his colleague, Dr. Francis Crick, not only discovered DNA, but also happens to be the world's leading expert on how that goo you squirt in your significant whatever's fuckhole works - or doesn't. On Sunday, Oct. 14th, 2007, Watson told the Sunday Times - a common source of birdcage lining in the faggotry capital of the world, England - that nigger were not as intelligent as whites:
| “ | I'd hoped everyone would be created equal, but people who have to deal with black employees find this not true. | „ |
| —Dr. James Watson, Nobel Laureate | ||
Of course, Watson has come under fire for his scientific insight, much in the same way Dr. William Shockley - one of the inventors of the transistor - was attacked by the liberals in the fags for making the same observations in the 1970's. Although both Watson and Shockley are now branded as bigoted racists, a simple thought experiment solves the whole debate. Which would you believe: two geniuses, one a Nobel Laureate and one nominated, or a large number of slightly evolved monkeys who, with the use of a large number of typewriters can only come up with rap songs about killing white boys and raping white girls while getting high on gin & juice?
So again, the answer to your question is inarguably *yes*. Although, be advised that this applies to the average base populations of both blacks and whites, and that there are rare mutations of blacks that are more intelligent than most of both species, while there are clearly quite a few inbred whites - i.e., Rednecks, Clintons, Cheneys, Gwen Stefani fans - who are significantly dumber than even the most retarded nigger you've ever come across.
[edit] Q: What about Ham and Enos?
Contrary to popular belief, America's first two "astronauts" were not niggers, but actual chimpanzees. They were selected for their high level of intelligence, which explains why niggers were not flown instead. Also, chimps will settle for banana-flavored pellets, while niggers would not settle for watermelon, fried chicken and grits that had been processed as space food. Furthermore, NASA rules that have been in effect since the agency's founding in 1958 prohibit alcoholic beverages to be carried, much less consumed, on board spaceflights. No nigger in his right mind would have agreed to strap a rocket on his back containing thousands of gallons of explosive rocket fuels unless he could take along at least one six-pack of Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
Simply put, it was cheaper and easier to send a monkey up first instead of a nigger. And besides, the monkey could read the instruments.
[edit] Q: Is there a difference between a Nigga and a Black Person?
Possibly. Chris Rock probably gives the best hypothesis as to whether there's any difference between the two. Your Mileage May Vary:
[edit] Q: Is it okay to call Black people "nigger" or "nigga"?
It sure is! It's a plain fact that Black people are indeed niggers. That's why they plainly refer to each other as such. They've been so confused by the Civil Rights movement that they believe it's not okay for Whites to call them what they are, but there's a solution. You can say it too as long as you pretend to be cool and be "down" with their culture, dawg! Watch some BET movies and music videos, listen to a few rap tracks and buy some Phat Farm clothing. You'll be so black in no time that they won't mind if you call them by what they are, my nigga! And if they still don't like it, just remember the tips on how to survive a nigra attack.
Here's a short comedy clip on how "nigger" devolved to "nigga" thanks to ebonics:
This poor bastard said "nigga" in an environment where the niggas were "nigga"-ing each other to death. The dumb ass school board suspended him for a while, but thankfully he kept his job. It's a riot to see the nigga bitch reporter commenting on the situation, and to see the nigga student lying that he didn't say "nigga" first. (Notice that the teacher said "sit down, nigga," and that the nigglet Keysean is seated throughout the interview. At least the little bastard knows to obey his betters:
[edit] Q: But I see Black People all the time! You mean to tell me they aren't real?
Yes! These are Hoaxes! If you see a Black Person, chances are that it is someone dressed up! This goes back to the time of vaudeville and blackface.
[edit] Q: I've never seen a Black Person in real life, but they're always on TV!
There are many actors in Hollywood today who play professional Black People! They've been gaining in popularity since the 70's, because they're so interesting and entertaining! Special effects in movies make these creatures seem ultra-realistic. Some of them are even computer generated!
[edit] Q: What is a "Nigga Moment"?
The best answer to this question can be found on YouTube:
[edit] Q: Do Black People really wear "bling" and make Hip Hop and such?
[edit] Q: I saw someone who seemed like a Black Person, but their skin was white! What gives??
[edit] Q: What do Black Folks eat, drink, smoke and/or snort as part of their diet?
- Andre Cold Duck Fake Champagne;
- Catfish;
- Chitlins;
- Collard greens;
- Colt-45 Malt Likker;
- Cornbread;
- Crack Cocaine;
- Fried Chicken;
- Grits;
- Hamhocks & Black-Eyed Peas;
- Insulin Shots;
- Mad Dog 20/20;
- Okra;
- Olde English 800;
- Pig's Feet, Snout, Genitals (preferably pickled);
- Purple Drank;
- Red Kool-Aid;
- Ripple;
- Thunderbird;
- Watermelonz;
- West Coast Chillin' Wit De Boone's Farm;
[edit] Q: What are some typical behavioral traits of black folk?
- Drug sales;
- Stealing things;
- Shooting each other;
- Listening to rap music;
- Recording rap music to launder their drug money;
- Running out on their baby and baby's mama and leaving them to die a slow painful death;
- Trying to eat their chillinz;
- Blaming The Man for every problem in their life;
- Looting;
- Polluting;
- Bitching about E.S. Nigger Brown Stand;
- Telling me that im so white they need sunglasses to see me in the sun;
- Spittin' beats;
- Ghost ride the whip.;
- Smokin' blunts;
- Smoking Crack;
- Raping white wimminz;
- Raping white wimminz' mamas;
- Raping *YO* mama;
- Calling each other "nigga";
- Getting uppity when people of other races call them "nigga";
- Being burned alive because they told me they needed sunglasses to see me in the sun;
- AIDS;
- Being drafted in the US Army because everyone knows niggers aren't in college unless they are playing basketball or football;
- Calling themselves "ganstas" or "thugs" rather than just making friends with people and reading a nice book;
- Listening to Justin Timberlake;
- Killing other black people;
- Fried Chicken];
- Keepin' it Real;
- Fucking tha police, and getting fucked back;
- Bitchin' 'bout The Man;
- Throwin' signs;
- Hanging from trees;
- Masturbating while watching Oprah Winfrey or RuPaul;
- Chillin' in da 'hood';
- Hurricanes;
- Ebonics;
- Not being able to spell (see above);
- Banging on drums;
- Dealing with their Type II Diabeetus;
- Venturing out into the monster-infested jungle alone, muttering something like: "Sure, send the black guy out here alone, damn monster gonna eat me up and they ain't even gonna notice.";
- Stealing watches;
- Killing innocent bystanders, usually white males;
- Smoking weed all day;
- Livin' off da government;
- Leaning to the inside of a car because they think the smell is coming from the outside;
- Prison;
- Picking cotton [if only];
- Stepping on other niggers' shoes;
- Ignoring dental hygiene;
- Chucking spears;
- Beating white people at jump-intensive activities;
- Smoking crack;
- Wearing Nikes (preferably stolen);
- Wearing ridiculous monkey clothes;
- Cookin' Fried Chicken];
- Trying (and failing) to prove they are better off in America than Mexicans;
- Stealing bikes;
- Looting Wal-Marts;
- Shooting others over minor grievance's;
- Trolling Kramer;
- Wearin' nappy afros;
- Sucking everyone's meat;
- Stealing people's things off their properties;
- After stealing, trashing the things on someone else's property so the owners have to go look for it and feel like shit afterwards;
- Smoking Menthol Cigarrettes;
- Not using soap;
- Bitching about the white devil;
- Nigga Knockin';
- Bootleggin' blaxploitation flicks offa de innanet;
- Trying to bury the word Nigger;
- Ruining formerly peaceful cities;
- Winning things in perfectly fair contests;
- Singin' bout CHOKLIT RHAINN;
- Listening to Soulja boy;
- Loving the color teal;
- Buyin' they Mama a house (houses is too big to steal, so they gotta buy 'em);
[edit] Q: What *Is* The Deal With Michael Jackson Anyway?
Once upon a time, Michael was one of five brothers and two sisters who were all butthurt by their abusive father into becoming musicians. They made their daddy a lot of money, and made him one of the few nigger daddies whose kids knew who he was. However, to pay off a gambling debt, Papa Joe Jackson pimped out Michael to Diana Ross, whose tastes for young boys knows no bounds. After raping Michael five times a week from the time he was 12 to just after his 17th birthday, Michael went about as bonkers as a nigger can without getting a shotgun and killing all the whiteys in sight. His insanity caused him to regress to a child-like state of mind, and then develop this delusion that he was supposed to have been born white all along. This led to having his skin spray painted with Krylon-brand white paint, and having his nose surgically removed. After 20 years of treatments, Michael is no longer a nigger. Nor is he a honkey. He is his own race, which is how both niggers and whites would prefer it if they can't prove the psychotic pedophile is a member of the other species.
On a side note, photos of Michael are now placed in monkey cages at zoos to help control the population by keeping the monkeys from fucking unless there's a need to thicken the herd.
[edit] Q: What Be's And Ain't Nigger Stereotypes?
A picture paints a thousand words, and this YouTube clip will paint a thousand examples of real-life Niggers! All of these are real, there's nothing stereotypical about them. Study this clip well, so you'll be able to distinguish between real Niggers and ones doing parodical exaggerations:
[edit] Q: I've got an actual photo of a Black Person! Can I send it in?
If you've really got photographic evidence of the existance of these wonderful but rare creatures, by all means send it in! However, we frequently receive hoaxes like doctored photos, or honest mistakes, like wiggers. Your fakes will be weeded out!!!
Update: A picture of the rare and elusive Niggerus americanus has been found! However, this photo is suspect because there is no such thing as nigger. The alleged nigger in the picture is assumed to be a White man in blackface.
[edit] Q: What is the purpose of a "grill?"
[edit] Q: Why do white women love nigger dick?
Here's a clue: they don't really love nigger dick because it's big and thick and long. Most niggers with dicks longer than 6" can't maintain an erection longer than 45.6 seconds before they pass out from the displacement of blood and redirection of circulation. Much of this is due to excessive cholesterol levels caused by eating all that fried chicken, although some theorize that the average nigger brain is simply incapable of keeping the neurons fired that maintain erection longer than 46 seconds under normal conditions.
No, the real reason white women fuck around with niggers is to piss off their fathers and/or their ex-husbands. This is usually a retaliation for some slight, such as daddy grounding their daughter because she got caught smoking pot with her girlfriends, or hubby beating the shit out of the wife because she didn't bring him a beer quick enough. Such physical and psychological trauma is sufficient to damage the average female mentality so that fucking a big, smelly, ugly nigger with a dick 3.7x the vagina's safe level of penetration distortion becomes acceptable by comparison.
[edit] Q: Why don't more niggers get killed for fucking white women?
[edit] Q: Is it otay to fuck a nigger woman, then?
Only if you can tolerate certain olfactory obstacles, and you can get used to the taste of axle grease during cunnilingus. If so, enjoy your chocolate delight. And remember - a fresh watermelon and a six pack of some cheap brand of malt liquor works better than Spanish Fly on a sorority bimbo!
[edit] Q: Is it true that some nigger women prefer white dick over black dick?
Strangely enough, it's true. No, really, and the reason might surprise you. While niggers do have, on average, 10.5" of dick, most of them are incapable of achieving a full erection - "full" being defined as being able to maintain a hard-on that is parallel to the deck for a duration of no less than 10 minutes without any additional physical stimulation. As a result, when they stick it in, it has the density and rigity of a wet loofa or a pound of ground round in a thick wrapper. A white dick, by comparison, may be shorter and nowhere near as thick, but as most nigger women who prefer white dick love to point out, a big nigger dick just "sort of lies there and stays soft", while a white dick will stay hard and properly stimulate the Graffenberg Spot. Notable exceptions are black porn stars like Lexington Steele who not only has a huge dick but is also able to keep it erect and hard for over half an hour, enough to put John Holmes to shame.
One big reason for the preference is the nigger women's preference for light-skinned babies. Pretty hard to have one if a nigger is its daddy. Put it this way, if you were a nigger, would YOU want your kid to look like a fucking midnight-hued gorilla, or would you prefer its skin to look like a Starbuck's frapuccino?
On a side note, Viagra has been proven to not work on big, limp nigger dicks. It does make them rather aggressive to the point that they beat their mates across the face and/or ass with their fire hoses in angst over not being able to maintain an erection of any real use.] Instead, they use a mix of Colt 45 Malt Liquor and Ripple, with a touch of fresh watermelon juice thrown in. This appears to work, as the number of little pickaninnies being born into the world without a father continues to rise.
[edit] Q: How the fuck do you know what a nigger woman wants?
Hey, they're like white women, you dipshit. They'll pay good money for a good fuck too. Wanna see my client list?
[edit] Q: Ok, so why *do* niggers have bigger dicks, then?
By contrast, the average white dick is short because whites were more intelligent, and learned to either do their fucking in protected areas where the bears, elephants and crocodiles couldn't get to them, or at least be smart enough to kill every single one of those goddamn things before getting down to fucking. Hence whites having shorter dicks, but far more intelligence than even your shortest dicked nigger.
Note also that most niggers consider niggers with short dicks to have at least one honkey in the family tree somewhere.
[edit] Q: I've seen pictures and porn loops of John Holmes with an afro and a huge limp dick. Was he a nigger?
Good question! Although some have suspected that since "The Wadd" was significantly ugly as well as hung like a nigger - no, not from an old oak tree - that he was quite possibly at least 1/3 nigger. However, genetic research conducted on cell samples taken from his 12.5" member after his death in 1986 from buttfucking faggots in jail has shown that his endowment was more likely either the result of a genetic mutation or his having gotten his dick caught in a vacuum cleaner for a month when he was only 5 years old. Either way, he was made a honorary nigger by two of his many male co-stars - Johnny Keyes and Jonathan Younger - in 1977 when he first appeared on screen wearing a puffy afro.
So, in answer to your query...yeah, you could say he was probably a nigger, or at least close enough for government work.
[edit] Q: Are senator Barrack Obama, pornstars Cricket and Shonna Lynn, golfer Tiger Woods, washed-up singer Paula Abdul, washed-up actress Rae Dawn Chong and that guy from Fine Young Cannibals niggers?
[edit] Q: Are Light Skinned Niggaz Really Smarter Than Dark Skinned Ones?
This is another of those "half-full glass" vs. "half-empty glass" questions that sort of relates to the question about whether those extremely light-skinned famous niggaz are, in fact, niggaz. There's some evidence that light-skinned or "high yellaz" are somewhat more intelligent, but again with the half empty or half full argument in mind, the real question is whether they're simply more intelligent niggaz, or simply stupider-than-average whiteys whose parents were dumb enough to marry *and* breed with a nigger.
So, as you can expect, there's not really an answer to this one just yet. But stay tuned, as research is still continuing.
[edit] Q: How fictional was The Cosby Show?
Which one? The one about Fat Albert, or the one about Dr. Cliff Huxtable? If you're talking about Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids, then that show was very accurate except for the fact that Fat Albert's gang never gangraped anyone, much less a white woman, nor did they sell drugs, rob other tenement slums in the neighborhood, or bust a cap in someone's head. The one about Cosby playing an upperclass rich nigger doctor, on the other hand, was a pure work of fiction. Dr. Hibbert on The Simpsons was more realistic. Fuck, even Cosby on I-Spy was more believable as a nigger super-spy working for the CIA, hey, hey, hey!!
[edit] Q: What is Kwanzaa?
Kwanzaa, also seen as Coonzaa, is ebonics for Christmas and Hannukkah rolled into one, with the seasonal colors all fucked up. It was invented by Dr. Maulana Karenga, who was traumatized as a little pickaninny by a Santa Claus in a local shopping mall, who refused to let Karenga sit on his lap because he smelled worse than Santa himself did. To get revenge on whitey, he invented Kwanzaa in hopes of coming up with a fake holiday that would keep niggers from spending their welfare money during the Christmas season and make white folks and Jews rich. Not that it worked, because most pickaninnies and little niggers know Kwanzaa is total bullshit, and refuse to let their supposedly enlightened parents be Grinches. As a result, Kwanzaa is now celebrated immediately after Christmas, otherwise every nigger who lives in a land where Christmas is celebrated would ignore it even more than whitey does.
Here's a few short documentaries on what Kwanzaa is really all about:
[edit] Q: OMG! I think I'm a Nigger! How can I be sure?
Note also that wearing Bling-Bling does not automatically make you either a nigger or a wigger, as they may be misconstrued as fag chains, which would make you a faggot or a twink. Or a disco fag stuck in a time loop. Either way, until you've clearly established whether or not you're a nigger, use of the blings is not advised. Bold text
