Сибирской говор
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Hello. You may be here to read about African children. This article has none of that. Instead, it is a discussion of the geopolitical implications of Wikipedia, focusing on the case study of the little-known Сиби́рской го́вор, a language of the Balto-Slavic family. You'll find more. Chienquieh.
[edit] lol wut?
Imagine that you've just invented a language. Okay, maybe 'invent' is too strong a word here. Imagine that you've just smashed together a fuckload of Russian dialects together one day, possibly with a little help from drugs friends, and called it a new language.
Well, Ярослав Золоторёв (read: Yaroslav Zolotorev) from Томск (read: Tomsk) (LiveJournal: samir74) decided to do exactly that, and also set up a website detailing his genius creation. He named it Сиби́рской го́вор (read: Siberiskoi govor), or "Siberian language".
Sounds pretty uninteresting, and it is. Well, until Wikipedia got involved.
[edit] Wikiedit Drama
Now, our main man Yaroslav here has a chip on his shoulder the size of...well, Russia. Butthurt over perceived oppression of his 'nation' (Siberia), he leads a one-man (and many-sockpuppet) war against the Russian language by declaring this dialectical clusterfuck the only and official language of Siberia.
What's more, he also managed to convince the geographically-challenged staff of Wikipedia to create a wiki page for this 'language'. Surprisingly, the Bureaucratic Fucks agreed, and parked it at http://ru-sib.wikipedia.org (defunct).
Now, some users of Википедия (read: Vekipediya), the Russian Wikipedia, caught wind of this, and began to continually bellyache about how this action was undertaken without the admins confirming the supposed "language"'s existence nor the application of the "x" private subtag for privately used language codes, in contravention of the ISO 639 and IETF RFC 1766 language code standards. So they say, at least. Of course, we all know that it is because YOU DO NOT BE FUCKING WITH RUSSIAN MOTHERLANGUAGE!
The Russian users started venting their rage, at first on the Russian Wikipedia (Wikipedia:ru:сибирская Википедия), but then moved on to the English Wikipedia , proceeding to lay the smack down on this little pissant (Wikipedia:Meta:Proposals for closing projects/Closure of Siberian Wikipedia), who valiantly fought back using supporters (in all probability, sockpuppets) claiming to be experts in Balto-Slavistics. He also tried pointing to documents posted on his own website, translated into the language, as evidence of notability. When that failed, he resorted to calling his critics "Москал" (read: Moskal, roughly translated as "Moscowndrels"), "outing" them as part of a Moscow-backed conspiracy, and generally being a passive-agressive (and sometimes plain agressive) dick. Needless to say, the Russian War Machine prevailed, causing Yaroslav to be shown the door.
It is interesting to note that this entire bout of faggotry would not have been possible without the continual support of Wikipedia, not least through donations to the Wikimedia Foundation. Donations that Jimbo Wales coaxes out of people by appealing to their knee-jerk responses:
| “ | I’m doing this for the child in Africa who is going to use free textbooks and reference works produced by our community and find a solution to the crushing poverty that surrounds him. But for this child, a website on the Internet is not enough; we need to find ways to get our work to people in a form they can actually use. | „ |
| —Jimbo, lying like a rug | ||
[edit] Lessons to be learnt from this
- Wikipedian Bureaucratic Fucks are idiots.
- Russia does not forgive.
- Wikipedia is not your personal soapbox, unless you are an admin.
- In Soviet Russia, language invents you!
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Сибирской говор is part of a series on Language & Communication. |
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