EBay
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] How do i paypal?
eBay — more commonly known as HeeBay — is a browser based MMORPG where illiterate people try to find bargains but end up buying strange and ridiculous crap such as the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese and everyone's favorite, mystery boxes! Grotesque, questionable, and downright shittacular auctions such as these are catalogued by The LiveJournal community darksideofebay and sellers read it like The Wall Street Journal looking for the latest trends. Idiots.
eBay's feedback system is completely fake. All good feedback is from people who won't complain because they'll get retalitory bad feedback right back. All bad feedback is from people who bid for the lulz just to leave bad feedback without paying. This sickens eBay's noobass founder whose since been trying to close the site down, but failing miserably. He's raised the fees through the roof, suspended people for nothing, forced everyone to use their terrorist funding payment system, PayPal run by the infamous YouTube Street Team, and replaced all their email answering staff with Mudkips, yet still no one will shop anywhere else.
If if you buy something on eBay, you didn't really buy it therefore you don't really have to pay. If you get suspended for nonpayment, just make a new account, eBay won't check if you've been suspended before until you try to sell something.
All bidders belong to one of two groups: idiots who bid days before the auction ends and only succeed in driving the price up, and cheapskate assholes who snipe the auction in the last few seconds. Both groups are constantly pissing eachother off.
[edit] How to Troll on eBay
[edit] Feedback bombing
By the way, you can win any item just to leave negative feedback and eBay will only remove it if the person is a big powerseller with a lot of clout. eBay requires that both the phone number and the email must not work and even if the person's phone number is fake so calling it gets a Motel 6 and someone fills up the buyer's email address with a large mailbomb so all mail bounces and you give eBay an email with headers with them admitting they bid just to leave negative feedback then eBay will just say that's not good enough or more likely not answer at all.
eBay won't remove feedback because they send people to Squaretrade who will remove it if you pay them $30.
[edit] VERO Bombing
VERO is something called "Verified Rights Ownership". It basically means a copyright holder or a company registers so they can report people who sold knockoffs of their products or were not a licensed vendor of their products. How VERO works is someone registers for VERO, faxes in a form, then uses a free email address as their only contact, and then they report any listing they want and eBay will automatically take it down and say to the seller who got their listing taken down that eBay won't do anything and they have to resolve it with the VERO person who filed it.
Well, thing is, for years sellers have registered on VERO and then used it to fraudulently report all their competitors' listings. Then poof their competitors' listings are gone and eBay sends nasty emails to all the people who bid on the listing saying that person is a scammer. If you get more than a few VERO complaints, your account is suspended for good. Welp, since eBay says you gotta resolve it with the VERO person, if it's someone giving fraudulent VERO complaints, there is nothing you can do.
It's easy to register for VERO, just fax in a form to eBay with fake info and link it to a free email address. The above is all seriously how eBay's VERO works and something competitors have done for years. If the GNAA ever finds this out, they just need to register for VERO, then run a huge bot to report every single eBay listing for VERO and every single eBay auction would be gone.
[edit] Get someone suspended in 24 hours
You've probably heard how sellers say "always hide your email address when responding to a question from a bidder." Here's why...
- Competitor makes fifteen brand-new 0-feedback buyer accounts.
- They ask one seller each a stupid question--something already explained in the auction. Typically, it's "What is shipping?" or "Do you combine shipping?"
- If the seller didn't hide their email address, the competitor goes with his fifteen buyer accounts and copies the emails the seller had sent to report to eBay but alters the body of them so they say something that would get the seller suspended.
In 24 hours, the seller gets suspended.
[edit] eBay's fail-wiki
Wanting to outdo Wikipedia, eBay made their own eBay-wiki. If you imagined the worst of Uncyclopedia with the worst of furry pron it still would not be as bad as eBay's wiki. They promoted it like crazy, showing off a piece of trash using uncompleted buggy software. Nobody edits that wiki because spammers make wiki articles as nothing but spamvertizements and any attempt to correct innacuracies or remove spam will get all your edits reverted.
[edit] Impact
- Spawned the Will verb again! catchphrase.
- Source of A Plus being used ubiquitously.
[edit] See also
[edit] External links
- How to seriously troll the hell out of eBay for fun and profit
- eBay flaunts its monopoly and bans everything but paypal [1]
- eBay is basically the entire point of the LiveJournal community gothfash as the only posts in the community are references to users' eBay auctions.
