Cakepony
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Cakepony is a porn site that disguises itself to look suitable to children in order to get a stiffy from the cute little girls reactions, thus making it a pretty average porn site. Upon entering the site, the innocent surfer is prompted with pretty pictures that appeal of children of all target ages, ie 1 to 8. The site asks if the viewer is 'a foal', asking the viewer to leave if so, or a 'yearling', which are permitted to enter the magical land of Cake Pony. These are apparently some complicated furry aging systems that no-one (except retarded fucks like you) understand. Should the small children not know which one to click, the 'yearling' option is usually taken, as it is 4 times larger than the 'foal'. This results in 4 times more small children watching the Hawt pr0n.
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[edit] The Belly of the Beast, no pun intended
Upon studying this website, I was forced to enter it... and so my Journey began... began... began...
Day.1: I look around and scout through this filthy website... everything looks calm. Upon entering theres a picture of a Zebra in a fairy princess uniform and a horse dressed as a pirate. I approach the Zebra. This was my first mistake, as WHAM!! A fearsome zebra-cock flies out from under the skirt! I try to run but since the speed of erection (as calculated by E = 5p - X) was way faster than me, I fail, and it went into my ass. The throbbing of the cock made me black out...
Day.2: I wake up in a dark room strapped to an operating table with a bunch of people dressed like animals dressed erotically like doctors. I catch small titbits of their musings: "I think he may be just a foal"... "thats no good, Fluffy already jizzed on that costume"... "Dude don't you think this is just a tad on the friking monkey dung insane side?"... All the doctors leave the room and things are silent for a few hours. Finally a door bursts open and a sexy looking Girraffe walks in, scantily clad in an all leather jump suit. She bends over and asks me if I want a sample. I didn't do it of course though, cause ha ha, thats sick doing a animal ha ha, you are gross man.
Day.3: I wake up in bed next to a gi.. throw pillow, and my butthole is on fire. I tell the gi.. throw pillow that i need to step out for a cigarette and I'll be right back. As soon i reach the outside world i run like fuck and fall into some ruins, i decide to make camp here.
Day.4: I wake up with normal looking people around me, when they notice I've woken up, they go into a sudden panic shouting "An outsider has seen our true forms" and quickly putting on Mascot costumes. They say I wont be allowed to go until I... send them my icing. (no, rly - it actually says that). To my dismay I take out my hidden icing squirter and frost Cakepony harder than my penis while I'm watching porn. The ejaculation is so strong that I pass out.
Day 5: I wake up back in front of my computer realizing it was all just a dream, but when I look in the mirror i have transformed into a horse! I immediately become furry and live out the rest of my life as a failure.
[edit] The Cake pony doesn't want you to discover her hidden child pornography
Ok, now seriously though. Really this site focuses around a cute little pony who walks up right on her hind legs, and uses her front hooves to flip though not child pornography, I swear. (Just imagine your mom with a little less hair). Now, this pony is named Cake Pony, which has some sort of double meaning that im not really getting. Cake pony tries to hide a giant stack of magazines all the time, usually with some writing at the top that says "Cake pony isn't hiding child pornography", or "Child pornography my ass... no see im a pony, an ass.".
The theme of this site is ironic, since at its core it is child pornography (you interested now?). The creators of the site want to hide the fact that their making child pornography, by making comics about a child pony trying to hide the fact that shes looking at child pornography... there are plenty of deep rooted political messages throughout this site.
[edit] The Cake pony mission
The following is a REAL excerpt from the Cakepony Website, and all but makes fun of itself so it's ok amirite?
"OUR MISSION:
Illustrated by the lovely Lauren Wong and the appititious Andrew Klein, Cake Pony is here to provide you with premium ADULT content to cater to your favorite fetish, BARELY LEGAL PONYS FEEDING THEMSELVES THE RICHEST CAKES. Its about damn time too. You deserve more than simple fetishes based around half-attempts at FULL CUTENESS. You want teens, cheerleaders, and that girl next door, all caught going wild or just being the innocent children young adults that they are. You want decadence, pillows, and whipped cream. WE KNOW, we want it too! And its precisely why we created this all-pony site.
So please enjoy the fillys of cakepony.com. We guarentee YOU'LL FIND NOTHING CUTER ON THE INTERNET to satiate your desires. And don't worry, all our ponys are 100% legal and waiting to eat cakes just for YOU. So whether you prefer a Masticating Mare, an Anglo-Arabian with an Appetite, a Cake-loving Clydsdale, or Donuts with Dressage, we have the site for you."''
Actully after reading that, I think I can understand why people would like to watch cartoon ponys eat cake eroticly... its pretty damb hot if you think about it. Do that pony up the ass. Whose with me?
[edit] The cake pony Guarentee
"WE GAURENTEE YOU THAT YOU WILL FIND NOTHING CUTER ON THE INTERNETS"
[edit] External Links
The magical land of Cakepony!!
