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Indie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Short for independent. Apparently the term can be applied to several things, like music, film, Morrissey or even software.
Also a subculture characterized by an obsession with indie music or art, the lesser-known the better. Indie scenewhores hunt for shitty music that nobody else knows about, because knowing of and listening to music that's completely unheard-of obviously makes them better than you. The desire to be indie can appear in almost any genre of current music, but most often makes its presence known in emo and punk communities as well as on LJ and other internets sites.
It is often hard to distinguish between a female indie scenewhore and a male indie scenewhore. It is best to conlude that guys with the long hair are fags. They grow it long because every other indie fag does, because Bright Eyes looks soooo stylish.
Normally prancing around in the night club, indie scenewhores dress like tramps and grow their hair really long. Please do not be encouraged to give them money. They are not poor or deprived, but merely have a mental disorder. It is best to tell them to contact the Salvation Armyor Samaritans for clothing and counseling.
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[edit] Indie Is Totally A Genre
Many pretentious fucks would proclaim that indie is not a genre of music but an attitude or some crap like that. This is a lie. The truth is that all indie bands sing about toasters, wear Chuck Taylors, stand around looking "random," make vague references to history in order to seem intelligent, and have at least one member playing a fucked-up instrument like an electric accordion so they can be "different."
Indie subgenres include:
- Riotgrrl - Possibly the stupidest name of a genre of all time (Grrl, get it? GET IT???), combines the crappiness of punk with the stupidness of feminism. Also played mostly by girls, and girls can't play rock music
- Post-punk revival - A revival of a shitty, minimalist genre from the 80's that no one cared about. Examples of post-punk revival bands include, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, Interpol, ETC. You can usually hear this drivel on the radio, or in a gay porn flick about Thai ass fuckers living in the center of the earth. Although Bloc Party would like you to believe that their music belongs in various high art indie flicks
[edit] Seminal Indie Bands
- Slint - Slint's music is called 'math rock' because it uses 'compound time signatures'. Not interested? Neither was most of the rest of the world, but indie kids will repeatedly try to talk to you about Slint's time signatures. If you actually listen to a Slint song you will realize it sounds like Indie's attempt at heavy metal: a lame, watered down, intellectualized version of what was dog turd in the beginning. Slint are also responsible for post-rock in the same way that Trent Reznor is probably in a large way responsible for the dire modern angst-rock fad: thanks a lot, guys.
- The Smiths - The Smiths contain not one but two huge indie icons - Johnny Marr and Morrissey. Marr, the guitarist, was praised for writing rhythm guitar parts any retard could come up with (wow chord sequences!!) but then playing them with a hundred guitars so you just get a synth-esque orchestral mush in the background of any Smiths song. Wow, that's talent! Morrissey is basically responsible for making it cool for Indie kids to whine, which allowed emo influence to slowly creep into the genre, which finally resulted in emo indie pop like Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance. The Smiths themselves while nothing in shittiness compared to these bands were just samey boring 80s pop music with pretensions towards art
- My Bloody Valentine - The Emperor's Clothes of indie. Everybody knows this band is really crap but nobody's willing to say it is because everybody else seemingly thinks there's more to them than meets the eye. Basically imagine a lot of guitars played loudly but with retarded effects applied to them with a singer who is barely audible over the top. This is My Bloody Valentine's unique, boring sound
- R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts is probably the shittest song ever. Actually wait, no that's Time of Your Life by Green Day
- Sonic Youth - Wow Sonic Youth use stupid guitar tunings and hack at their guitars' pickups with screwdrivers so they sound really shitty!!! only heard on college radio by deaf listeners Go independent rock!!!
- Pavement - A lame rip-off of a post-punk band called The Fall who taped all their music with shitty equipment. Since Pavement Indie kids have learnt to basically choose a famous band and rip them off. And also to use shitty equipment. It is seriously seen as beneficial in the indie community to use equipment that produces poor quality recordings, probably to cover up poor-quality music
- Elephant 6 - Not a band but a "collective" of bands (indie kids also tend to be communist cunts), Elephant 6 took queues from Pavement by basically producing rip-off bands. Of Montreal are Elephant 6's rip off of The Kinks and The Beach Boys (though more recently with dance music influence because the singer takes it up the ass); Apples In Stereo are a very very shitty watered down version of The Beatles in their psychedelic phase (Strawberry Fire is practically the same song as Strawberry Fields); and Neutral Milk Hotel are shitty regurgitated folk music with naff trumpet solos.
- The White Stripes - Sometime last Thursday, some skinny 40-year-old hipster and his wife/sister failed to learn how to tune or play their instruments. They recorded a bunch of cacophonous screaming and indiscriminate drum-bashing to a music video of Legos masturbating and were an overnight success.
[edit] Not Indie
- Your mom's music
- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Has a wailing hag as a singer, also a carbon copy of no wave band "Teenage Jesus and the Jerks" which is headed by the most retarded person in American history, Lydia Lunch
- Modest Mouse - Their only claim to fame is having stolen Johnny Marr from his own personal retarded projects. They sound like half-assed funk with a failed yodeller as a singer
- The Gossip - Has a horribly fat bitch as a singer 'Beth Ditto', who said in an interview she doesn't wear deodourant because punks don't wear deodourant and she is a punk!! And then she complained about Hot Topic not stocking clothes her size. She is horribly obese, stinks, and worse, gets naked at shows. She also sings about feminism lol
- Sufjan Stevens - Makes songs that sound so compressed and minimalistic they sound more like Mobile phone ringtones than actual songs. Also looks like the retard from Rain Man. He is too good to be indie.
- Joanna Newsome - Stupid bitch who sounds like Scrooge McDuck trying to masturbate whilst sucking helium and sings about retarded crap like peaches and spoons. This is apparently 'post-modern', which translates as 'shitty'. She also plays a harp, which supposedly makes her interesting, despite the fact that the world hasn't been interested in the harp for a long time and this woman does not change that fact.
- Indiefucks
[edit] "Indie" can also refer to:
- Indiana Jones, who kicks ass.
- A term used to describe the musical tastes of people who listen to emo but are still in denial.
- Nsync because they were on a minor label. (tell the indie-fucks)
- Jews WHO REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR SAVIOUR
- Post-punk
- Ryan Long
[edit] External links
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Indie is part of a series on Music. |
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