Internet Disease
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Displaying old, faded, blurred or otherwise non-descript photographs of oneself, taken with bad lighting and at awkward angles, on the Internets in order to make you appear more attractive to people online than you are IRL. Internet disease was invented in 1998 by Natsuki, a Jap living in Michigan at the time.
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[edit] How Internet Disease Works
An internet diseased photo is taken with the subject standing at an angle, thereby hiding his or her obesity. Also the contrast of the photo is increased dramatically in order to obscure unattractive facial features, like acne and the nose.
By using such techniques, which are dealt with in greater detail below, individuals afflicted with the Internet disease are able to conceal the fact that they are an unattractive person, and instead become a figure envied by others. In a desperate attempt to look like the victims of Internet disease, admirers use the very same techniques as the admiree(s), thus further propagating the disease.
In 2004, the World Health Organization released statistics showing that over 30 million teenage girls in the United States alone suffer from Internet disease (ID), over half of which have led to disappointing meetings with IRC and AOL boys. The paper also claimed that ID is especially dangerous because desperate men far too often end up having unprotected sex with female ID sufferers anyway, leading to the birth of many ID inherent babies, causing the problem to live on. The WHO has suggested the immediate use of condoms and sterility surgery for all men on the Internets, as well as fallopian-tying for all ID female sufferers.
[edit] Techniques
- Fat girl angle shot
- 45° Birds-eye"
- 180° Overhead
- High contrast
- Over-saturation
- Over-contrast / brightness
- Low contrast
- Sepia tone (hide acne)
- Black and White (hide everything)
- Photomanip
- Misleading thumbnail
- Sex by association
- Chinstrap
- Old Pics
- If all else fails: Lens flare
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
Andrewpants showing off Internet disease skills. |
Hep showing off non-sufficient internet disease skillz. |
Hypnox showing off sufficient internet disease skillz. |
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There is not enough Internet Disease in the world to help Chin-chan. |
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High contrast and she still killed herself |
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The too cheap for a mirror effect. |
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The blurry method. She thinks she can hide her fugly. |
Internet Disease is part of a series on LiveJournal. |
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Internet Disease is part of a series on serious business |
Internet Law • Irony • Internet disease • Internet drama • Identity theft • Free Speech Serious People |
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