Virgin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] OL
Untouched and pure, as in "virgin snow." Virgins are new to an IRC channel or a given community. When virgins innocently violate unspoken rules of netiquette, those experienced with the internets flame them into a smoking pile of greasy ashes, much like the NRA encountering Bambi. Because of their boorish behavior, virgins can appear to be trolls however trolls are consciously obnoxious for the lulz while virgins have no idea they are idiots. Savvy trolls will often create a sock puppet who pretends to be a virgin.
[edit] Sexual Virginity
According to a survey of 13-year-old boys, girls fall into three categories: virgins, sluts, and mothers. According to a survey of 16-year-old girls, females remain virgin as long as they only fuck Jesus and/or only take it in the ass. History demonstrates that most girls are not virgins. Much to their regret, most 13-year-old boys are. See also: Technical virgin.
[edit] Virgins Who Want To Stay That Way
Oddly, some virgins wish to continue their useless state of frustrated abstinence.
- Modest Girls
- Sample Entry: "I love Jesus. He's my lover and lives inside of my temple...so I don't need to show it off." (Note: An excellent source of what.)
- Iron Hymen
- You don't have to be a slut! Instead, you can live a bone-dry life that is bereft of disgusting penis snot that will try to cry its way up your uterus. Yes, you too can be a virgin for the rest of your life!
- Platonic Love
- Sample Entry: "Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline. 'Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymoar,' he says. 'We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.'
- Everyone on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- I suck cocks.
[edit] Want To Be Less Virginal
- Bitter And Horny
- Sample Entry: "Is being a whore really so bad? I'm starting to think not."
[edit] Want To Be More Virginal
[edit] Gallery Of Virgins
 A virgin. |
 Chevelle...never been fucked. |
 Will die sad and alone, still dreaming of JetBlackFreedomFighter. |
 "Thank you Internet! Once again, my virginity is safe!" |
 You can tell if someone is a virgin just by looking at them. |
 Just Give It To Me Bitch(Common Virgin Screaming For SEX) |
 This kid laminated his v-card. |
 A typical Virgin's angsty myspace blog about the taste of FAIL |
 A typical permavirgin. |
[edit] PermaVirgin
PermaVirgin is an incurable affliction caused by the horrible virus known as "Nice Guy Syndrome". These boys are caught in a downward spiral that keeps them virgins forever, no matter how hard they try or how desperate they get. Part of this downward spiral is them doing exactly what women tell them they want, being a yes man, and buying gifts for her, which triggers the womans "Don't Fuck" instinct (any real man knows that the key to getting laid is doing the exact opposite of what a woman says she wants, being an asshole to them). PermaVirgin is also known and best described as the Friend Zone.
