White people
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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White people are named after their pale sun deprived complexion which was bestowed upon them by God because He loves them more than any other race, especially niggers.
Note: Jews do not count as white people; they shapeshift into the form of the white man to hide their horrendous, beast-like true form.
White people are a subset of the Caucasian race. Therefore white people include races as diverse as people from Romania to Spain to Sweden to Russia, but not the Middle East. White people rule teh internetz and fear that black people like Al Sharpton will one day rise up against them after figuring out there's more to operating a computer than entering a chat room and finding ugly nigger bitches to gangrape.
Contents |
History of Whitey
- Practically all that whites possess, is stolen, i.e their land including North America as a whole.
- They're too lazy to build their own economies so they got slaves to do it.
- Modern whities came from Cro-Magnons who drove the original whities, Neanderthals, into extinction. So modern whities even stole their homeland Europe from someone else. A hint of things to come?
Whitey (or crackers as the sub-human species is commonly known) were created at least 100 years ago by an all knowing black scientist named Malcolm X. Malcolm needed a group of people for his fellow blacks to rob, rape, and murder. The first whitey, Pat Boone, previewed the behavior that would define the white race for centuries to come and raped all of the goats at Mr. X's goat farm while Mr. X was away on vacation.
The insane cracker wasn't finished.
Boone broke into the barn and proceeded to strangle the pre-teen daughter and son of Malcolm X. The vile subhuman went on to rape their dead corpses, chop their bodies into little pieces and place the pieces in an ice chest down in the basement (you don't see black people doing shit like that). Those events further foreshadowed defining characteristics of the cracker race.
When Malcolm returned home he was devastated. His lab was in shambles as well. Turned out Boone cloned himself and created an entire army of goat fucking, pedophilic, murdering, road kill eating crackers. This caused Malcolm X to vow vengence on all crackers everywhere by any means necessary. The television show, the Jeffersons, depict the events but changed the goat farm in to a cleaners.
Though white people often point to the Bible to justify their rape and subjugation of non-whites it is in fact evidence of their illiteracy. Biblical characters were Semitics, mostly Jews. White people, however, can't read; so 100 years of watching other white people play these parts in movies has caused a mass delusion that they are the chosen people.
In America, even someone who is 100% white is still, generally, a mongrel. Most white people have the blood of many ethnicities in them. Within a generation of coming to the US, most sons and daughters of immigrants interbred with everyone else. This seminal intermixing gaurantees that most white people have genetic material from other races. If it wasn't for this genetic mixing white people might have gone extinct as the result of genetic syndromes caused by inbreeding.
In America, great social upheaval has occured since the second half of the 20th century over employment and educational polices such as Affirmative Action, racial quotas and immigration visas. In order to make sure some real work gets done, American businesses, schools, and the government have insituted policies to bring in non-white workers. Many of these lazy whites have protested these policies which they believe allow non-whites to have jobs they felt entitled to. On the high salary end of the job market, high-tech companies are forced to look overseas for H1-B work permit holders to find qualified workers. Even among low wage jobs such as fruit picking it is well-known among farmers that lazy germophobe whites are unwilling to get dirty or do the job with any speed and efficiency.
Other terms
White Accomplishments
White people are responsible for the following inventions/innovations-
- War
- Incest
- The Holocaust
- Oppression
- Pedophilia
- Genocide
- police brutality
- rape
- stealing land
- fucking up Iraq
- dishonesty
- Serial Killing
- drugs
- George 'W' Bush
- bestiality
- 4chan
- hunger
- furry
- Fangirls
- Christianity
- The Man
- Big Brother
- Adolf Hitler
- Ronald Reagan
- Ayn Rand
- Cracky-chan
- /b/
- McDonald's
Yet more absolute proof that caucasians are teh greatest race on earth and probably teh universe as well.
Whitey and You
The sexually deviant white perverts have fetishized every other skin color and ethnicity on the planet. Historically, white people had to rape in order to fulfill their deviant needs. Even the American founding fathers were having babies with their slaves. As white people moved west across the United States, and their European brethren colonized Asia and Africa, they continued to force themselves on native people to satisfy their needs. For this reason, everyone hates White people -- except for a few who are liked by black folk as shown by the fact that a website named Black People Love Us! exists.
White men lust after the unobtainable which creates a huge marketplace for the entrepreneurial pornographer. The proliferation of interacial porn on the internet, sub-divided by every ethnicity (particulary asians and blacks), is testament to the fact that non-white women won't have sex with white men unless paid outrageous sums of money. White women aren't left out either. White men are so unattractive that most white women get wet and open their legs just at the thought of non-white cock.
It is worth noting that communities and conventions organized around a sexual fetish are mostly populated by white people. White people are known to fall asleep while fucking.
Whitey and Slavery
The whites took over America by enslaving the blacks and other inferior peoples. Except for the indians(feather) who were and still are more useless than even negroes. Instead whitey brushed them off their land. It was their manifest destiny and the White's stayed faithful to it.
Whitey is a steadfast supporter of the status quo and believes everyone who gets fucked over in life is just "lazy". The whole Whitey economy was built off of cheap labor from Blacks, Hispanics and Asians. But this fact is lost on Whitey and he typically likes to think that his kind invented civilization.
Where Whitey Lives
White people tend to congregarate outside of cities in large developments of houses that look completely alike. Because their brains lack the ability to grasp many new concepts, they are frightened and disturbed by anything unusual to them, or anything which requires complex thought to understand. It is because of this that they create large housing developments with strict rules. In a development, some usual rules include the required possession of: one bible per person, one white person of the opposite sex bound by marriage, one to two children, more than $50,000 per year in income per independent, many expensive, shiny objects with which to occupy oneself, a satelite dish that recieves 500 channels or more, multiple cars costing more than $15,000 a piece, jobs (preferably office work), and very green, evenly trimmed grass. Any and all skeletons are usually required to be kept buried very deeply in closets, because the abnormality of these things can cause other white people to become scared, to stop allowing their children outside, to call up one of the plethora of policemen at any opportunity, to curse you in church or, if you happen to have some particularly disgusting skeletons, they may riot, commit arson, or murder.
Whitey is also known to chill under specially designated white trees.
Whitey Social Behavior
Crackers have a tendancy to walk around in public in a funny, uptight manner (most likely because most of them have sticks up their asses or have been almost raped).
The male White specimen tends to be a lamer, a frat boy or an emo. During the day they tend to flock together in packs at the mall or travel alone in search of non-White women to molest. During the night, the emofag cuts itself, the lamer posts on livejournal or myspace, and the frat boy gets totally fucking shit-mouth, piss drunk. When a White male animal gets drunk, it tends to become very rowdy and aggressive and tends to make loud yelling and whooping noises that wake up the whole neighborhood. Some scientists believe this is a White male mating call.
The female White specimen tends to be a 16 year old girl, an emo, a Valleygirl or some type of whore. During the day they tend to flock together to look for clothes, fattening food or look for fratboys to hook up with. At night the 16 year old girls and emos get on Facebook or myspace where they can shamelessly promote themselves and bask in the glow of unwarranted self-importance. The Valleygirl turns into a were-bitch that wrecks parties, while the whore gets drunk to the point of passing out so they can get almost raped and tell about it on Livejournal. White women have by far precipitated to represent the worst elements of femininity. This all began in 1066 when William the Conqueror introduced the doctrine of prima nocte; allowing all his relatives to fuck all the women on their estates on their wedding nights before their husbands could get into their panties. As a result over time, this practise being a commercial one, had all white women evolve into prostitutes, and subsequently they carried their talents to the New World.
In the summertime, white people will inevitably wear short-shorts to show off their fat, marmelaide-like pasty, shapeless legs. Especially the middle aged ones. They seem to think that other people enjoy seeing their cellulite, vericose vein-riddled legs the color of uncooked dough.
Whiteys typically love dissing non-White people so they can feel important and good about their pasty, unattractive selves.
Whitey Sexual Behavior
Whiteys are world-renowned rapists and dabblers in all sorts of sexual perversion. Whitey men can easily rape women in Asia, take sex slaves from Africa and South America and take child prostitutes from Eastern Europe with impunity since Whitey men are seen as virtuous and inherently good in Whitey-controlled society. All the sexual abuse in the world is blamed on Blacks so Whitey's record can stay clean. All those Native American women who get raped by Whitey and those slave women during slavery who got raped were just asking for it. Or so the White devil would have you believe. Whitey men are also known for being extremely sexually perverse and having sex with dogs and taking it in the ass from horses. Whitey women are known for having extreme fetishes and craving non-White cock and dying from bizzare sexual acts.
Eating and Shopping Habits of Whitey
A strange dichotomy exists. Amongst hippies and yuppies and others swollen with liberal guilt, they like so-called "healthy food" and can be seen buying organic food. The more expensive and earth-friendly it is, the more they want it. They also bring their own fucking bags to the store, usually tiny misshapen hemp bags handmade by women from the local battered woman's shelter that cannot hold their $350 worth of soy products and K-Y Jelly. Strangely enough, for people who like cruelty-free products they sure are assholes towards to the hired help of stores and restaurants. A no-cruelty mindset does not extend towards the lower class, poor motherfuckers, and wearing a cheap polo shirt and plastic nametag makes you shit in there eyes. They care more about animals than people, it would seem. See Peta.
Amongst white trash, super greasy, non-nutritional food is the norm. Hamburgers, Americanized "Mexican Food", and the important all-you-can-eat buffet, where one can also ingest other people's bodily fluids intermixed with tasteless food. In large quantities. It's amazing to see a five hundred pound fat fuck who is actually malnourished, living amongst a pile of McDonalds wrappers and shitty discarded underwear while drinking a diet coke.
White People Who Are Not White
Despite the degrading implications that come from being associated with the race, there are still those who take pride in pretending they are part of the perverted species of rapists and plunderers that have held down the progress of the human race. Some examples of them include:
- Coconut: Brown (black) on the outside, white on the inside
- Apple: Red on the outside, white on the inside
- Twinkie or Banana: Yellow on the outside, white on the inside
Harassment, beatings, lynchings and the popped ass-caps are typical responses to these individuals. If you see one, please react accordingly.
Conclusion
"White men are self-loathing turds who are afraid of everything. You hate black people because they supposedly aren't productive enough in society. So you faggots should love the Jews right? No, you insecure pussies hate them too because they fucking beat you at your own shit. Same with Asians, you hate them because they’re too smart. You never hear Asians whining like goddamn white retards about blacks getting affirmative action. Mexicans want to come here to WORK. No, no, we can’t have more productive members of society, they’ll steal your shitty job at McDonald’s or what the fuck ever. Must suck to be a white guy. Your dicks are smaller than blacks, you’re dumber than Asians and jews, and Mexicans are harder workers. Fuck, even white women are slowly but surely becoming more educated and successful than you faggots. Enjoy reveling in your past achievements. Soon white guys will have nothing to do, while blacks fuck their women, Jews, Asians and women run everything, and Mexicans do all the shit jobs. Oppression can only hide your inadequacies for so long.
All white people are going to hell."
(Translation: Racism ONLY goes ONE way. ONLY WHITES can be racist. ALL OTHER races are VICTIMS, ALL OF THE TIME.)
This article was brought to you by everyone who was offended by other race articles, but mainly a few butthurt black folk. Most other blacks, and most other people of other races for that matter, didn't give a shit, because they realized this was a satire website. According to some assholes, all whites are men, and women somehow don't count.
See also
- White Middle Class Liberal
- Black People Love Us!
- Missing white woman syndrome
- Average Homeboy
- Marry Your Pet
- White nationalism
- Christian rock
- A White Man
- ZrA
Q: How do you circumsize a white boy?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
