John Travolta
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
John Travolta is a Hollywood actor best known for playing the dad in the critically-acclaimed Look Who's Talking series.
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[edit] Early Life
John Travolta and his twin brother, actor/comedian Carrot Top, were born at least 100 years ago in New Jersey. Their father was an Irish immigrant who worked in a coal mine and their mother was a concert pianist. By his early teens, Travolta had already shown a certain knack for acting and auditioned for roles all the time, most of which he easily won.
[edit] Midlife Crisis (aka joining Scientology)
Travolta became a Scientologist after seeing one of their really persuasive television commercials. He had been looking for direction ever since his movies Grease and Saturday Night Fever completely flopped and he found it in the form of paying people to rid his body of ancient, evil aliens. It is estimated that Travolta has purchased $1 billion worth of Scientological horse shit.
Shortly after joining, Travolta auditioned for the role of Goatse man but lost out to Rob Schneider. That's why to this day he only performs in moves based on the writings of L. Ron Hubbard, like Battlefield Earth, The Passion of the Christ, and Throw Mamma from the Train.
[edit] Selected Filmography
- Another Demonstration of the Cliff-Guibert Fire Horse Reel, Showing a Young Girl Coming from an Office, Detaching Hose, Running with It 60 Feet, and Playing a Stream, All Inside of 30 Seconds (1900)
- Saturday Night Fever (1977)
- Grease (1978)
[edit] See Also
| John Travolta is part of a series on Religion
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Deities Prophesies Religious Holidays Religious Icons Fanclubs ArchVillians Key: * represents a Deity or Holiday of Trollianity.
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