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Wapanese

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No, squinting doesn't make you look japanese. Stop that.

A female in the advanced stages of the disease.

F.G.A.S oMg LoL kaWaII !!!!11!11 ^_^;;;

Every Japanophile's dream! Their own Japanese bitch!

Weeaboos often resort to serious shopping to look azn

RL Ian the Japanese schoolgirl, curing your yellow fever for good

Japanada.

This is what all true weeaboos strive for.

The Wapanese (also called Japanophiles or "Weeaboo") much like wiggers, are cultureless honkies trying to fill their cultural void by pretending not to be white. In this case, by humping the giant Godzilla leg of the Land of the Rising Sun until they are assimilated into its culture, as if being azn is some kind of acquired communicable disease. So badly do they wish this, in fact, that they are willing to dedicate whole afternoons to memorizing up to five common phrases in Japanese and then misusing them at the mall or furry conventions. They frequent sushi bars, the Panda Express in the food court and Sanrio stores on a weekly basis. They are the bane of American youth.

1 Statistics
2 Identifying someone as Wapanese
3 Wapanese in Denial
4 Hypocrite Wapanese
5 The Curious (Mating Habits of the) Wapanese
6 Useful Wapanese phrases
7 Wapanese Karaoke
8 See also

[edit] Statistics

DevianTART is home to a large population of Wapanese 'artists' who trace Sailor Moon and fap over popular anime shit that litters the site.
99.9% of the Wapanese 'artists' on DA want to study art in Japan and become famous manga artists, however 75% can hardly handle drawing circles and 90% will never have enough money to move to and study art in Japan.
100% of Wapanese 'artists' will flunk out of art school, if they can make it in, because the world does want any more crackers drawing their craptastic animu shit.
Wapanese will INSIST about how delicious sushi is, even though their sushi is probably prepared by 38-year old white pedos, who are most likely Wapanese themselves.
Wapanese spend around 70% of their income on meaningless Japanese imported crap, much of which could be bought at Target for far less but MUST be imported because Japanese is liek OMG so cool.
Japanophiles insist on using chopsticks to consume everything from hamburgers to aspirin.
82% of male Japanophiles have declared on their LiveJournals that they will never "settle" for less than an authentic Japanese girlfriend. IRL they often have to settle for their autistic cousin Stacey.
There is no known cure for Japanophilia, other than the victim killing him/herself. Injections of anti-venoms such as Polandolux and Brazilium have thus far been ineffective.
Male Weeaboos fap to films featuring Wu Shu and Kung fu, only proving their blatant ignorance and racism (they all look alike, desu!) in the process (neither of these martial "arts" has anyting to do with Japan, just like Wapanese never will).
Japanophiles will complain when manga-influenced comic books created in America for Americans are not printed right-to-left. These particular people should be turned inside out with a coat hanger and made to observe the world through their own asshole.
At least 90% of Wapanese will own bootlegs, and will risk their lives not letting that fact out.
70% make their own clothes, or lolita, and it shows.
100% of all male Wapanese fantasize an American idealized female body replete with 34DD breasts, pink nipples, and a thinly muscled stomach that seques into voluptuous, shapely hips, and the other 35% of it is for an idealized Japanese face that goes O.o when shocked at the sight of big American penis and ^O^ when orgasming (see also: bullshit)
80% of the writers on Fanfiction.net are Wapanese.
Their bathing is inconsistent, as they have no time for this - they're usually too busy watching anime, eating sushi or buying plastic crap from the internets.
Best band evar is Slipknot

[edit] Identifying someone as Wapanese

She wants brains! And for you to buy her newest line of cute crap!

There are many telltale signs of Wapanese, the biggest one being that they will refer to each other as Otaku and kawaii desu yo! Other warning signs include:

An example of an AZN Wapanese in denial. "ahh, eating too much onigiri = onigiri-filled tummy XD"

Boy George, a famous japanophile. Also, really, really gay.

O...M...G...!

She wants to be Japanese and Davey Faggot

Known for constantly bitching and complaining about the country they are currently living in if it is not Japan and if they have been there then it is common to whine about wanting to go back every twenty minutes i.e. "I wanna go to Japan T_T!!!!"
Also known for stubbornly defending Japan's long history of IRL banhammering other races
Wapanese think they are so badass and will often pose with their katanas while wearing their cosplay outfits they made for the ComiCon. (see also: retard.)
If a Wapanese cannot master the Japanese language and hoarde enough Gaia gold to go to Japan, the yearly ComiCon in San Diego is the next best place to parade yourself around as a dumbfuck.
In photographs, a Wapanese will always be shown making a peace sign with one hand, while squinting their eyes and contorting their facial features into a grotesque imitation of the ^_^ smiley, EVEN if they weren't actually doing so when the picture was taken.
A tendency to mercilessly butcher the Japanese language, throwing around random words and phrases whilst completely ignorant to what they mean. For this reason, the term "Wapanese" can also refer to the language spoken by such sad individuals. Almost all Wapanese will pretend to know the Japanese language and will constantly go "I know Japanese!! Kawaii!!" when a Japanese or part-Japanese loli comes within 20 miles of the vicinity. Most Wapanese cannot actually sustain a conversation for more than five seconds with a Japanese person.
Any self-respecting weeaboo will befriend any random azn in a 50-mile radius, regardless if the people they are befriending are japanese or some other azn race.
They insult people using romaji, something that has nothing to do with the Japanese language.
Listening to shitty J-rock bands nobody has ever heard of and believing that every male in japan is a hermaphroditic transvestite.
Their life dream is not only to go to Japan, but also to break into the anime, manga or video game industry and have sex with all the blond haired blue eyed Japanese girls they saw in Naruto.
Collecting samurai swords and posing in photos with them is a common Wapanese habit.
Pseudo-intellect. Often use big words like "pretentious", "original" and "pseudo-intellectual ." Don't be surprised if they misuse the semi-colon in an attempt to insult you on what ever message-board you're using.
All of them have at least one account on Gaia Online or DeviantART. Discussing ethnicity, politics and religion as if they know what the fuck they're talking about.
Females have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of Hello Kitty clothing at all times.
Wapanese want to take in the local Asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how everyone else who professes an interest in Japanese culture is a poser. They will then throw on their favorite Asian Kung-Fu Generation CD and take out their impotent, white rage on the last few sticks of Pocky they ordered from J-list.
The more desperate wapanese will wear shitloads of eyeliner and fake eyelashes to make their eyes appear pointier.
Japanese characters in their LiveJournal interests.
Wanting to go to Japan and only Japan to meet the love of their life.
Username and/or 99.9% of their friends list's names end in the letter "u", "i" or "-chan".
will have at least one manga, doujinshi, anime, or jpop project "in work". update: BALEETED. weak.
A large sweatdrop will appear on their forehead when confronted about the fact that they have never even seen a Japanese person in real life, let alone ever been to Japan.
Wapanese have an undying obsession with anime, and very often, it's the only thing they watch.
Closely related to the rarer "Koreanophile".
90% of wapanese people have AZN or 4ZN in their screen names, though they are not at all Azn
Hanging out with asians in the arcade, playing DDR, Tekken or Initial D. It's not hard to spot the odd one out there.
Usually saving up for their next trip to Japan, so they can buy a lolita dress that their fat will spill out of. Most likely will be worn with striped socks and Hot Topic $20 shoes.
If not saving up for the lolita dress, buying the cheaply-made Hot Topic version and wearing it 24/7.
If they're a really rich nerd, they might be carrying a little Dollfie around with them dressed up in their own meticulously hand sewn clothing they imported from New Jersey.
They find the anime genre of "Harem Comedy" funny.
They imported Persona 3: FUK
Their name is Jeffree Moon
Curiously, azn weeaboos are common as well, furiously denying their weeaboo status because they are not WHITE, even though they were born and raised in America, only know English, and quite possibly are not even Japanese, commonly Korean, Malaysian, or Chinese. (see: bullshit)

HILARIOUSLY, point out any internet website to a Wapanese which uses their myspace account as an example of a Wapanese persons, and they will claim they know who did it by saying something like "I know who did this, it was (insert wapanese fetish name in here, i.e Veronica, Erika etc)".

Gwen Stefani is a well known Wapanese. Also a bitch. See a pattern, yet?

A classic example of a Wapanese LJ user can be observed here, here and here.

A classic example of a Wapanese forum user can be observed here.

A classic example of a AZN Wapanese can be observed here. (see weeaboos links for extent of obsession and denial.)

It should be noted that not all Wapanese are neccessarily white as can be observed here. See also: Koreaboo

[edit] Wapanese in Denial

Throw fits when are confronted of being a Wapanese/Japanophile and then attempts to kill you with their katana.
Can be found religiously on 4chan. (also see: the cancer that is killing /b/)
Has Dir en grey or Gazette bootleg in CD player.
Attempts to counteract any of the above in the identification of Wapanese.

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial LJ user:

8bitgirlsbravo
natsukigirl (does not own a katana, doesn't visit 4chan, doesn't like Gazette / Dir en grey (would also never buy bootlegs), contradicts above information because there are more factual ways of attempting to show she is Wapanese (owning 500+ manga, 70+ japanese music CDs [not bootleg!], or being able to read an write Japanese... for example), and demands more out of an insult than random information that does not apply to her). ^_^ wai waaaaai!! MMH DELICIOUS DENIAL DO YOU SMELL IT?
geishagurlx
maliciouspuppet
zoi_no_miko
mma10nam

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial Myspace users:

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial YouTube users:

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial Veoh users:

"Nynychan (ninnychan)"

Classic Gaiafag wapanese in denial:

"Tsubasa Shriube"( also seen at Wikichan)

Classic example of a Wapanese in denial bebo users:

"Harry AKA Haruhiro"

[edit] Hypocrite Wapanese

A hypocrite Wapanese is almost identical to the Wapanese in denial. Though slightly differing, the hypocrite version tends to be more annoying. They prance about claiming they hate the Wapanese, but cream their panties on sight when they get the opportunity to go to Japan. Shelf life of a hypocrite Wapanese living in Japan is about 2 months before they return home, realizing that the great Hide Matsumoto is dead and no Japanese will have sex with them.

Music interests (usually all J-POP, or JROCK) change weekly.
Attends anime conventions, don't cosplay as anime/manga characters, but often go to check out the j-music playing.
Has a DevianTART account filled with their shitty anime drawings of catgirls and lots of emo poetry.
Usually bisexual or gay from looking at pretty Japanese men in dresses.
Are usually under the age of 17.
Probably dress in Lolita, Decora, EGL, or any annoying Japanese fashion that the Japanese use to lure in the Gaijin's beaucoup bucks.
Possess a tattoo in japanese characters, which translated probably means hope, prosperity or something equally gay.
Learn japanese from watching anime only

Classic examples of hypocrite wapanese LJ user:

futaake

Typical Weaboos at Bon Odori

[edit] The Curious (Mating Habits of the) Wapanese

How Japan views Weaboos

Even Animu animators want the wapanese to STFU.

While most Wapanese maintain that they will only settle for a real-live Japanese, most of them invariably end up settling for another Wapanese. The pair will go about collecting all sorts of little Japanese trinkets together, watching Naruto and Battle Royale endlessly together and making statements like, "Isn't it kawaii how they loved each other so much they jiatsu'd off the cliff together desu ka?" while secretly wishing they'd actually found a Japanese person, or at least an Azn.

A lucky few Wapanese will manage to find an Azn who is in self-denial and chooses to be oblivious to the Wapanese's obvious fetish for a culture that the azn has nothing to do with, and may even pretend to be Japanese themselves despite being Korean or Chinese. Usually this azn is a BBW and has low self esteem or aspergers, but, this matters little to the Wapanese, who is just happy to have some Oriental poon to lick. Fewer still are the Wapanese who manage to find and not alienate a Japanese with their overwhelming misunderstanding fanboyism of Japanese culture. These lucky few are usually so giddy that they are actually getting to hold the hand of a Japanese person that they fail to realize that their Japanese girl/boyfriend is only in it for the greencard and has few feelings other than embarrassed disdain for them.

While this latter Wapanese thinks themselves to be l33t, is no longer talking to their American friends, and is planning on moving to rural Japan with their beloved to live on a farm like a Hayao Miyazaki film, buy a Nissan Skyline GTR and raise a whole litter of hapa children, their Japanese spouse is counting the days until they're a naturalized citizen and can divorce without the threat of being deported like a Mexican so that they can take their time dating and finding an American they actually like. Hiniku na, desu ne? Hai, anata wa chieokure to yoboyobo to panti dorobo no desu! Anata wa chiryo ni iki masu.

Interesting Legal point: The is no official Age of Consent in Japan. Technically you're a pedo if you stick it in a 90 year old grandma. In fact, every single citizen of japan who has had some dick or pussy fun is technically a criminal now. The one that aren't are already war criminals, that is.

Most true weaboos however settle for a lifelong relationship with Osaka from Azumanga Daioh and a lonely life of masturbation. Or they just rape over 200 underage Asian boys instead.

[edit] Useful Wapanese phrases

Hopefully, this Wapanese will choke and die on this overpriced shit-dipped compressed sawdust

Some common Wapanese phrases you may hear that will help you identify a Japanophile:

Obviously weeaboo. Note the "V", the braids and the cat.

"Kawaii!" (Wapanese standard warning for, "Do Not Look Directly At.")
"Konnichiwa!" (Japanese mating call of the North American Giant Douchebag.)
"Baka!" (Noise made when clearing throat to dislodge half-eaten sticks of Pocky, a popular snack formed in a pointless stick shape.)
"-Chan" (Appended to every name to make it sound "kawaii.")
"Sugoi!" {Phrase said when they're sure they've found their new mating partner. Most likely Japanese, or asian, if not, a wapanese like themselves.)
"Ne!" (Usually said after sentences, a sign for the listener to punch them in the face. Is actually equivalent to amirite but no Wapanese realize this)
"Itai!" (Heard when wapanese hurts themselves. Signals the hearer to hurt them more.)

When encountering a Japanophile, it's best not to mention anything that could be related to something that could be likened to something that is marketed or found or approved of in Japan, such as books or food, PS3's or oxygen. Humans who tried to academically dispute the superiority of this xenophobic culture back in 1998 are still locked in unwilling debate today, or possibly just died standing up.

It should be noted that in every group of wapanese fucktards, there will be at least two people calling themselves kitsune and two more calling themselves usagi.

What the Wapanese like to refer to as fanservice

[edit] Wapanese Karaoke

Many wapanese enjoy singing Japanese or some other sort of Chinky music at karaoke sessions, and due to their lack of ability to use the Japanese language, added to the massive amount of AIDS present in their bodies, they do not fully understand how much the world suffers from hearing them. Youtube also features many of these racially (and in some cases, sexually) confused douchebags, as can be seen in the following videos:

EDIT: LOL video removed due to butthurt ( Damn You! )