Fanboys
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A Fanboy is a male or female who pledges their lives to something trivial, like a video game series or a console. Never coming out of the house to have a social life, fanboys will never see, touch, or smell a vagina ...unless they happen to have one.
These fuckwits worship everything, from Final Fantasy 7, to animu, to mascots, to Firefox, to camwhores, and consoles (which are the worst kind).
People usually undyingly pledge themselves to something, because they're losers who, just because they buy from a company (or country) and defend it in countless, pointless flamewars, think that that company gives two shits about them, and that they somehow will be rewarded in the afterlife for their rabid devotion and asshatery, much like towelheads.
The worst thing you could ever do is pick an argument with a fanboy. They live for that. All they'll do is flame though, fanboys are all internet tough guys and will never try to physically do anything to you. Besides, most have probably developed agoraphobia from living in their basements for so long anyway, and would probably piss themselves just going to the mall.
[edit] Types of Fanboy
- typical fanbois:
These typical fanboys claim they are "blood" lol
- Anime fanboys. They constantly watch generic Harem Anime like Love Hina or shonen anime like Naruto (also Inuyasha if they're girls or gay) while listening to Rush and generally staying immobile so much that their one greatest exertion is choking down massive amounts of pocky to retain their status as uber-1337 weeaboo. They also think they can "speak a bit of Japanese" which means "kawaii" and "baka". Unlike animu fangirls, animu fanboys usually do not listen to Japanese bands just because they're Japanese, but they usually only listen to faggy anime or video game music - by proxy this makes them basement-dwellers. At age 13 they generally seem to turn into emos for a period and dump the anime for My Chemical Romance and Myspace. Usually after this they return to make hundreds of Dragonball Z AMV's all cut to Linkin Park. They'll eventually go to college and join the ranks of Anonymous on /b/ and jerk to loli porn all day.
- Console fanboys. The most vicious people in all the internets. They are all convinced that entertainment systems rule the world and anyone who plays a system different to theirs is "evil" and needs to immediately be informed of that fact. In their mind, Microsoft is Nazism, Sony is capitalism, Nintendo is communism, and SEGA is Ann Coulter. Master Chief is Jesus, except when you mention that fratboys play Halo. Constantly in a state of flustered, impotent nerd rage, they're usually fat, acne-ridden and have an IQ of five or so. The only way of getting a teenage fanboy out of this state is by intense psychological therapy which may have some side effects, like being an emo fag.
- Mac fanboys. Second only to console fanboys in fury, Mac fanboys will kill your mother if they find out you run Windows. The only way to defeat a Mac fanboy in a nerd cred pissing contest is to tell him about your Linux machine or that you're too busy playing games on your PC, which will cause his head to explode instantly. Fortunately for everyone else, Mac users are rare.
- Furries. Once "fursecution" made the scene, furries became fanboys in-practice in addition to sick fucks, making them the most easily trolled group to ever exist. God bless their little broken brains.
- Computer Scientists. The most advanced form of fanboy-ism.
- Cliques. While these exist quite regularly in IRL, the advent of the Internets boom has let them congregate together and multiply. Most fanboy breeding occurs on social networking sites such as Myspace, Vampirefreaks, Facebook, DeviantART and Bebo. The reason why these people are different from the IRL species and fit into the fanboy category is that most of them stay in their house for years taking pictures in the mirror and only go around worshipping and defending bands in typical fanboy fashion like My Chemical Romance, System of a Down, Fall Out Boy, Gackt, Trivium and Mayhem or defending lolcows like Tila Tequila or Jeffree Star (see Jeffree Moon).
[edit] See also
- Fangirl
- Allspark- raving fanboy community full of stupid and lulz
- Jeffree Moon
