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Buy A Dog

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Buy A Dog is part of a series on final solutions.

“	She installed electronic security, a phone tracing system, and bought a dog. WOOF"	„
—Phil Shuman

You might well ask.

Buy A Dog is a meme that originated last Thursday when Faux News ran an investigation on hackers on steroids. The propaganda flick relayed the horrifying tale of a basement dwelling mamma's boy named Alex Wuori. His MySpace had been thoroughly hacked and covered with pictures of gay secks causing his imaginary girlfriend to leave him. He also claimed that messages were left on his mom's answering machine threatening to slit his emo throat. He probably left it himself.

In typical over-the-top fashion his mother immediately did what any reasonable person would do: she purchased a new security system for her entire house, put a tracer on their phone line, closed the curtains, and finally...she BOUGHT A FUCKING DOG.

This may seem completely fucktarded, but it is well known to IT security experts that /b/ is actually run by CATS and cats hate dogs. Also in this case, a cat is not fine too.

[edit] Hawt Tips

Dogs are the third hardest substance known to man, next to ~~Dragonforce~~ diamond, and of course, Chocolate Rain.
Mathematical fact: Fear + Ignorance + series of tubes = Alaskan husky.
Closing your curtains is the #1 way to prevent yourself from Anonymous Hackers. However. They may Hack their way through your firewall-curtains.
It is a Scientific fact that after this was shot, this woman plugged up her vagina using her dog's left testicle to avoid being raped by ANONYMOUS.
For optimum protection, wrap said dog around curtains.

It should be noted, however, that several very skilled hackers can bypass security machines through use of wire cutters and steroids. Meanwhile many others are busy dissecting dogs and consulting with ~~Michael Vick~~ Ron Mexico in an attempt to find creative ways around a dog. So far, all efforts have led to failure.

If potential victims cannot buy a dog, then a Dog Curtain is fine too. A cat will actively work against you.

[edit] Trivia

Wearing a Firedog hat will not help you.

How did SlimVirgin defend herself against feared troll, Blu Aardvark? She bought a dog; ironically, it was from Blu Aardvark.
The gaiafag developers banned Pedobear so to make sure Anonymous doesnt come and slit their throats. They`re going to buy fucking dogs!

[edit] Gallery

Dogs. Making you buy them since 2007	Dog promotional poster by Ollie.	Anonymous trembles	~~Michael Vick~~ Ron Mexico, ~~has~~ had several a dogs.
Anonymous shits bricks	Cute? I don't think so.	Anonymous begs for mercy in the face of a dog with a laser.	Dogmongler -for one- is not afraid.
Do it nao.	dog+curtains+van...you nevar thawt you'd say it.	Will track you down like a Chris Hansen on Pedobear's arse.	Dog Curtains...the only firewall for steroidal hackers
A Doberman may be a good choice	LAPD and Anon	This will help you keep your family safe	Anon will NEVARR attempt to haxx0r you or detonate a van close to you if you have curtains, espeically if used in combination with a dog.
Anonymous. We'll make you buy a dog.	Dogs may screw you up, though. Well, hum.	This dog poses little threat.	Dogs don't like Michael Vick.
Dogs have held back terrorists for hundreds of years.	Why azns want to buy a dog.	Moar K9!