Xydexx
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Xydexx is a crazy gay furry who has been totally and unapologetically gay for unicorns and giant inflatable animals since seventh grade and even wishes he was one (a unicorn, an inflatable animal—sometimes both at the same time). His fursona is a helium-fillable inflatable squeakable purple unicorn. This early indication of total furfaggotry is probably what eventually turned him into a furry. In the future, scientists may be able to cure this horrible affliction and rid the world of the furry scourge forevar.
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[edit] Career
[edit] How Xydexx ruined Lulzmas
When his Inflatable Animal Fetish Page was mentioned on Portal of Evil years ago, he posted about how much he likes big zebra butts, but later deleted his page of cervine rubbery-rump-humpery to the eternal annoyance of secret diaper freak and editor Kthor. Then in November 2002, Xydexx spoiled Lulzmas for everyone when a giant 12' tall inflatable reindeer was stolen from a local mall. After claiming innocence and saying he had nothing to do with the theft, he inexplicably posted numerous pictures of the inflatable reindeer and made lewd comments about how "boinkable" it was. Why anyone would want to boink an inflatable reindeer is anyone's guess. After a lengthy search leaving no donut shop unchecked, police recovered the much-used reindeer a few days later, deflated and icky. It was quickly returned—still wet and dripping—to its original perch atop the mall marquee amid delighted cheers of holiday shoppers. The next year the mall set up a "Reindeer Protection Squad" to ensure no evil inflatable reindeer-molesting perverts could evar ruin Lulzmas again. Thus, Lulzmas was saved and everyone lived happily evar after.
[edit] Winning arguments by running away from them
Xydexx often brags about how goons and trolls can dish it out but can’t take it. Ironically, he's always the one who runs away butthurt by claiming to "have better things to do" with his time, like drinking tea or something equally faggotty like bike riding. Before predictably claiming victory by running away, he deletes everything, and accuses opponent(s) of being unfunny and spending too much time on the Internet.
Back in January 2005, Xydexx had jokingly suggested that those horrid Something Awful Goons be physically chastised to teach them not to mess with the furries in a sequence of increasingly hilarious comments which he later deleted when he got tired of the drama. However, famous fucked-up furry fatbeard Squnq incurred his eternal displeasure by obsessively archiving the thread. Two years after the original lunacy for no apparent reason, Xydexx created a rebuttal of Squnq's absurd interpretation of his deleted posts. Later that year, he got drawn into WikiEdit Drama over trivial minutiae with gigantic dramallama Krishva, who had endlessly insisted her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries. Their seemingly endless back-and-forth that anything remotely to do with fictional anthropomorphic talking animals couldn't possibly be furry ended in complete wikifailure, demonstrating what serious business Wikpedia is and how people have too much time on their hands.
[edit] Goodbye, cruel Interweb
Xydexx faked his own death in a horrific blimp accident in March 2007 in order to escape the cyberstalking and harassment he had been subjected to, which is tragic because everyone wishes he really would die in a fire already. Immense lulz were caused when he announced it was creepy drama-addicted sociopath StukaFox who had been cyberstalking and harassing him. However, Xydexx showed that intolerant antifur what was what by predictably deleting everything and announcing he's become bored of OMG DRAMA IS SERIOUS BUSINESS and was going on a 24-hour giant inflatable reindeer buttsecks marathon instead. Currently the only remaining lulz to be had are in watching former Burned Furs like Otakuoftomobiki (MOAR LIEK OTAKUOFDRAMABIKI), who spectacularly self-destructed in a giant dramatic deluge of piteous weeping upon realization that OMG DUMBLEDOAR IS TEH GAY.
Seriously, people. WTF? How many years will be devoted to this ridiculous drama that isn't even lulzworthy and is totally beset with furries, fail and AIDS? Tune in next week and find out!
[edit] Quotes
- Besides, everyone knows drama isn't awesome — it's stupid, tiresome, and the primary reason Encyclopedia Dramatica is and forever shall be the web's lamest wiki.
- ED is lame because they can dish it out but can't take it. Uncyclopedia is a hell of a lot funnier.
- What should have happened, IMHO, was that the furries should have surrounded the car and pelted it with rocks, or even dragged them out of the car and beaten the holy fuck out of them. It's one thing to tell goons "stop fucking with us," but, as the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. So if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes, y'know?[1]
- This has already been debunked elsewhere, but for the record anyone who seriously thinks I support violence against Something Awful needs to have their head examined.[2]
- CYD is the place where everyone who couldn't make it in furry fandom ends up.
[edit] External links
- Xydexx's blog (now abandoned)
- Xydexx's Myspace site (now abandoned)
- Xydexx is gay for unicorns
- Seizure-inducing music video about Xydexx
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Xydexx.
