Bring Back Snacks
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
On Saturday December 29th, 2007, /b/tards were awoken by an angry rumbling sound from above. As they rubbed the sleep from their masturbation damaged eyes, they realised that it wasn't an angry God per se, but an angry landlord.
m00t had finally realised that all was not well in the House of 4chan and specifically, there was a problem in the /b/asement that was driving down his property values and threatening the very foundations of his crib. That problem? Vermin, in particular, the Faggotry Termite.
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[edit] The Vermin
m00t immediately posted a sticky to the effect that anyone posting "post ending in (x)" posts would be banned. Likewise gay porn dumpers and camwhores.
To many, this was a welcome and long overdue measure, to others, it was an "OMGZ!!one RULES ON MY /b/!one!!". And then were are those who saw delicious trollage in the offing and set out to bait the newly empowered 4chan mods. Howevar, like the idiots they are, these wannabe trolls just got beat down like it was a game of Whack-A-Mole when they started popping up.
Healthy (and not so healthy) debate raged throughout the weekend but one thing became all too clear: Oldfags had had enough! Praises were lavished upon m00t and the mod squad and they were hailed as gods. Meanwhile, butthurt whiners (who are nevar happy), BAAAAAAWED about the 'freedom of speech', the implications of rules on /b/ and "OMG CENSORSHIP!!!"
But it was too late...oldfags remembered the old days, "when /b/ was good" and they began to pine and long for the return of the legendary W.T. Snacks -he of the hasty banhammer. Before long, the cries went out to "BRING BACK SNACKS!"
[edit] Where It All Began
Shortly thereafter, an open letter to m00t appeared on /b/ from 'concerned' Oldfags, congratulating him (and the mods) for his bans, but went on to suggest that since /b/ was still infested with vermin virtually replacing any Original Content (requiring thought and time to create lulzy shoops) with the sheer force of volume, post ending in ban wasn't enough to stop "the rot".
With this, drastic measures were called for since a tsunami of unfunny, boring and uninspired newfag bollocks was drowning out the 10 active pages of /b/ and killing original content as the vermin needs no time to reproduce shitposts; just repost the same crappy pictures from their /b/ folder everyone's seen (literally >9000 times) and cuntpaste some banal sit like CONFIRMED FOR BRAWL
No, the infestation that is lowering m00t's property value needed extermination by a professional pest control expert; that expert?...W. T. Snacks (Lord of the Hasty Banhammer).
[edit] Interim Measures:The Oldfag Sage Collective
As the furore died down, Oldfags revitalised by the whining of newfags and invigorated by the memory of a /b/ that nevar was set about putting their house in order. The infestation of faggotry was put under the microscope and identified, lists were made and off went the Oldfags in a frenzy, armed only with sage bombs.
From this day forth, such unfunny, boring, uninspired, rote 'lazy' threads such as You Laugh, You Lose, Everyone Get In Here, Confirmed For Brawl, Roll Call and This was my face when I saw (x) were to be killed with sage. Even the relatively lulzy Motivate Me /b/ requests went unfilled, the threads ruined by /b/tards responding not with Demotivators but with witty retorts such as "You're dying."
[edit] See Also
[edit] Gallery
 Sage Bombs Away! Everyone Get In Here indeed. Sage goes in the email field. Furry pr0n pix are finally good for something. |
 Meanwhile, teh faggotry continued while the Oldfags debated m00ts new bans. |
 "Motivate Me /b/". "NO U!" |
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 Newfags maek anon cry. STOP FUCKING POSTING! |
 /r/ (BAN NEWFAG FOR THIS POST) lolcats? on my /b/? |
 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) Close, but no cigar. |
 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) Not epic win. YHBT! |
 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) |
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Bring Back Snacks is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/. |
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