Les Six
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Les Six is not, as the name suggests, a disease affecting only female homosexualists, but a term given last Thursday by the game company Eidos to a group of website owners who slavishly supported the Tomb Raider marketing department [1] whilst suppressing all unofficial viewpoints, especially ones involving Nude Raider and buttsecks.
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[edit] Tomb Raider Number Ones
Les Six were named in the game credits of Tomb Raider: Anniversary, a remake of the remake of the original Tomb Raider game which was re-created by Crystal Dynamics to try and make money with no extra effort.
[edit] They are
- Kitty Flamingo[2]
- Walter "Chris" Pidgeon
- NAMBLA[3]
- David Icke
- Ivana Fukalot
- Justin J. Farr (secret identity tlr_online)
The list is of sociological interest as it contains at least one peadophile, two Nazis and five attention whores. In unrelated news, it has been established by science that the use of a middle initial is a well known sign of being gay.
[edit] The fall of Les Six
NAMBLA resigned as soon as possible to avoid being associated with such a bunch of upstanding citizens. Walter Pidgeon had his eyes scratched out by Justin J. Farr, the moderator of the Tomb Raider Chronicles forum, who has as a result become Queen of the World and his continual visits to Eidos headquarters in Wimbledon to whine like a pussy about other webmasters beating him to “Tomb Raider Exclusives” is a source of joy to everybody. Tom Wanksuc and Dan Beaver have mildly amusing surnames, whilst Shalamar Imanenov was cremated at Auschwitz. Only Kitty Flamingo is still present in her earthly body delighting the special needs section of the Tomb Raider community with her “Lara Croft’s Tales of the Expected”.
[edit] Not Les Six
Not to be confused with an article “Les Six” in Wikipedia - “a name, inspired by The Five, given in 1923 by critic Henri Collet in an article titled ‘Les cinq russes, les six français et M. Satie’ (Comoedia, 16 January 1920) to a group of six composers working in Montparnasse whose music is often seen as a reaction against Wagnerism and Impressionism.” Which is quite TL;DR and not of the same art historical significance as the fandom of Tomb Raider.
[edit] In Legal News
tlr_online is suing the Interweb over some serious business as he is a no-nuts Rules Nazi who hides behind his powers in order to silence and ban anybody he doesn't like. He is the epitome of win [4][5].
[edit] Justin writes (Update Sun, 28 Oct 2007)
Sent to my work email address, which I haven't given to him;
Date: Sun, 28 Oct 2007 07:46:27 -0000
From: Justin via Support
<support@tombraiderchronicles.com>
Subject: Good morning!
Hello Greg (my IRL name),
Perhaps we could arrange a meeting sometime in November to discuss your recent online contributions to parody.
Have a wonderful day.
Justin.
-
Justin J. Farr
Tomb Raider Chronicles inc.
Web: www.tombraiderchronicles.com
Email: support@tombraiderchronicles.com
Disclaimer: This email is confidential to the intended recipient, as are any attachments. If you are not the intended recipient, do not use, copy or disclose the information in any way or act in reliance on it, and notify the sender immediately, then delete it from your system.
www.tombraiderchronicles.com accepts no liability (to the fullest extent permitted by law) for opinions, conclusions and other information in this message which do not relate to its official business. No contracts or official orders shall be concluded by means of this email.
If I was paranoid, I'd feel faintly threatened. It seems that not only is the Internet Serious Business, but it might be threatening to spill over into real life. If course I may not be the intended recipient in which case I shouldn't have disclosed the information. If Justin cares to email me and let me know, I'll apologise for breaking the silence. (Although he'll have to write to me at ostercy2003@hotmail.com like everybody else who wishes to discuss Tomb Raider as I have set up a filter on my work mail system to consign any further bullying emails to the trash before I can even read them.)
[edit] Shock news! Outed!
OMGZ! Despite the doubtful legality of such a undertaking, my "secret" identity has been revealed by Justin J. Farr first-time poster "Writer's Block" in a daring attack at Tomb Raider Forums[6], [7]!!
THAT'LL TEACH ME NOT TO MESS WITH JUSTIN!!!! I feel as if I've learned my lesson.
I particularly like the paragraph "The moral of the story? Be careful when choosing your opponents or launching unprovoked (sic) attacks, because there is no such thing as anonymity on the internet" at the end. I find it even more impressive when read in the voice of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.
By the way, thanks for crediting me as the author of the delightful Katie Fleming entry here. Sadly all I contributed was a punctuation correction and a link to "Les Six", but I'm still proud of them.
[edit] Darth Pigeon, Unbiased Reviewer
Eidos don't really need to worry about getting bad reviews for their games when they have people like Darth Pigeon working for them. Trumpeted all over tombraiderforums.com are the details of Pigeon's recent visit to Eidos to preview the "new" game Tomb Raider Underworld [8].
| “ | Just got back from Eidos....
Just... WOW! Can't say much right now, apart from that fact that I was in awe most of the afternoon and on numerous occasions just left speechless. And that is a rarity for me. Even I couldn't convey in words how excited I am right now. All will be revealed soon. Thank you Eidos for being a charming host, and for your continued support of our community and magazine. | „ |
| —Darth Pigeon 06-12-07 | ||
It will be interesting to see whether his "enthusiasm", no doubt unrelated to the opportunity to remain "Queen of the Laraverse" by getting Eidos PR releases before anybody else, will be backed up by the "Underworld" reviews that Eidos eventually get/blackmail/invent from the gaming press.
[edit] Leaked screenshots (zzzzzzzz) 14th Dec 2007
Play Magazine, who were given an "exclusive" interview by Eidos, thought it wise to then leak Tomb Raider screenshots all over the Web. So now you can see them everywhere - except at Darth Pigeon's tombraiderforums.com. Apparently he's under an "embargo." (Stifled laughter.) So all that ass-licking has left him with little more than a brown tongue.
[edit] Related links
[edit] Gallery
 Leaked genuine screenshot from Tomb Raider Underworld. Lara Croft - now with realistic 360 degree revolvable feet. Well worth buying a PS3 to see. Supplied as a public service not because it is remotely interesting or original, but purely to annoy Darth Pigeon and Eidos. |
 Darth Pigeon, Eidos and Lara Croft have a close relationship. Honest. |
 Allegedly the only known real life photo of Darth Pigeon and his wife. (Oh, and lucky old Lara Croft, who apparently is the filling in a Pigeon sandwich.) |
