Cthulhu
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Did you know that... Cthuhlu's only weakness is a thunderstorm and a lollercoaster?? |
The younger, less attractive sister of Dead Lord Cthulhu
Primacy of fucked religion
Cthulu has risen!!!
Cthulhu is a badass alien god-thing worshipped by Jews as well as an alleged presidential candidate. An ancient prophecy about Cthulhu, written in an early form of leetspeak:
- Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn.
Translation: In his house in R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. To further explicate the matter: deep beneath the Pacific waves, Cthulhu lies entombed in his house in R'lyeh, dead but dreaming. When the stars become right, the island city of R'lyeh will rise above the waves and Cthulhu will stride the surface once more, making the Earth his plaything as the Old Ones return, wiping humanity off the face of the planet in an eldritch orgy of destruction in one fell swoop.
A description of an image of Cthulhu, taken from H.P. Lovecraft's "The Call of Cthulhu":
- [The statue] represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block or pedestal covered with undecipherable characters, taking a huge dump. The tips of the wings touched the back edge of the block, the seat occupied the centre, whilst the long, curved claws of the doubled-up, crouching hind legs gripped the front edge and extended a quarter of the way down toward the bottom of the pedestal. The creature was clearly in a lot of pain from the massive dump it was taking. The cephalopod head was bent forward, so that the ends of the facial feelers brushed the backs of huge fore paws which clasped the croucher's elevated knees.
