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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Genghis said, "All a man needs in his life is some water, some grass, and some beef. And women who can bear childrun."

A seriously brutal motherfucker, Dschinghis Khan (born at least 100 years ago, died from AIDS in the early '90's) is known for pwning everyone's ass from China to Germany through his tactical prowess and killer facial hair.

When Dschinghis Khan was little, commies killed his father. Perhaps this is why he made them and their vodka soaked lesbian schoolgirls his bitches years later. Anyway, it only proceeded to make him hard as steel.

Some people say his name is spelled Genghis. He is part hamster. Also, when some Merkit fucktards almost raped his wife Borte, he called upon his pals Jamuka and Bjork and killed every single Merkit left in a total Holocaust. This was just the beginning.

[edit] The Musical Khanate of Dschinghis Khan

The powerful band of Mongols poses for a picture. Note how fucking scary they are.

By far the most powerful musical group in history, the eponymous Dschinghis Khan defeated everyone in the great Battle of the Bands at least 100 years ago, spreading their music throughout all of Eurasia. Their leader was an incredible disco tactician, and even found a way to defeat the massive army of gays and liberals which formed the group Stomp!. After slaying the members of Stomp! with a series of head-exploding dance kicks, the Mongols subjugated many other tribal bands like Primus, Nirvana, and even Tatu in Moscow.

To this day the Russians try to ignore all asians because they remember the terrifying times when Genghis came by. Well, note that Dschinghis also spanked all of the Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreanese, and Iraqese. And your mom. After having beaten the shit out of each country east of the Oral Mountains, Dschinghis and his group went bareback and headed west, to Europe.

Dschinghis himself with the Khanate, showing off his eeevil head exploding kicks.

Once they got to Germany through some insignificant farmland, they were appeased by the members of Rammstein who taught them how to blow fire and speak Germanese. Then Rammstein proceeded to give really deep head to the almighty male Mongols and messy cunnilingus to the female members of the Khanate. Now able to speak - or sing rather - in a broadcastable tongue, Dschinghis recorded the story of their conquest for the anals of history in a series of disco music videos. These are widely available in the internets, especially the one that tells the story of drunken orgies in Moskau.

Dschinghis used diplomatic skills to get his buddies into sex positions of considerable power. He got ABBA all the way to the top in Scandanavia, and Tommy Seebach in Denmark. This era was known as the late '70's, and is a cheap source of Lulz and television shows today.

[edit] Legacy

Genghis fathered a lot of bastard children with some loose cunts. In fact, some of his bastards started countries in India, Kyrgyzstan, and Mexico. He was known to prefer anal with banana flavored lubricants, and his many exploits can be found in divx on edonkey. Genghis also enjoyed cold tapioca pudding on hot summer days in what is now modern-day Uzbekistan. Why the fuck he spent a night there is anyone's guess.

Khan in a rare moment without his killer facial hair.

The only places that Dschinghis Khan never conquered were France (he didn't think it was worth it), America, England, and Japan. His invasion tour was only stopped from sailing to Japan by the divine anal winds of natto-eating Yaoi fans. However his records are now available in Japan through ebay, vending machines, and from Harajuku street peddlers.

Also, Dschinghis was responsible for making the silk road, a passageway from Asia to Europe through the Gobi desert, more important. This allowed for Cosplay, Hentai, SARS, ramen, Fortune coookie, and rice to enter the rectum of the "Western World".

Even the Canadan William Shatner was Khan's bitch.

[edit] Pissing off William Shatner

For some reason, Dschinghis really pisses off William Shatner, as is shown on a flash site. This has become an old meme, and is often referred to as "the best page on the internets". In fact, a college freshman at Oxford backtracked the refrain to 'Moskau' and heard the words 'Captin Picard *random shit* will pwn the Moskau universe'. That's because trekkies are gay.

[edit] The Untimely Death of Dschinghis Khan

You can live out the anal conquests of Genghis Khan through a series of shitty Japanese video games.

Sadly Dschinghis Khan himself died of AIDS, which he got by sodomizing Freddie Mercury, or maybe Tom Hanks. He must have contracted the virus during his later years when he had retired to Hawaii. Although he was bi, he was probably the greatest pwner of all time and could definitely rape Hitler, Napoleon, Caesar, and even the combined forces of Ninjas and Pirates, if he was only around today.

Luckily, the Rocking Son of Dschinghis Khan is still around.