Jimbo Wales
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Did you know that... Jimbo Wales actually isn't the founder, nor is Larry Sanger. The actual founder was Ben Kovitz, a "former friend" of theirs? |
| “ | I would view [Encyclopædia Britannica] as a competitor, except that I think they will be crushed out of existence within 5 years. | „ |
| —Jimbo Wales, July 28, 2004 | ||
Jimbo Wales (aka Sole Flounder) is a long-time operator of pr0n sites and the ghey founder of the Wikimedia Foundation. According to Jimbo Wales, Jimbo Wales makes the Internets "not suck." Jimbo Wales is also the god-king of the Wikimedia Foundation, which rules over such projects as Wikipedia, Wiktionary, Wikiquote, Wikibooks (including Wikijunior and Wikiversity), Wikisource, In Memoriam 9/11, Wikimedia, Wikimedia Commons, Wikispecies, Wikinews, Mediawiki, Metawiki, and Nupedia—all in Esperanto! From the name Jimbo Wales, Jimbo has become the common term in urban language for an old, dirty, and broken condom that has been used by multiple users.
- Hey, y'all, ah'm nekks, who got deh mo'fucking Jimbo?
[edit] Jimbo Wales is Osama's Friend
| “ | I will never apologize | „ |
| —Jimbo Wales | ||
Jimbo Wales is also working on Wikiverse, the free online open-source reality simulator. People are invited to experience what life would be like with no opinions of your own.[citation needed] Jimbo Wales is so devoted to the insane rantings of a crap and fortunately dead political novelist that Jimbo Wales says Jimbo Wales is even worse than Jimbo Wales' good old buddy Osama.
| “ | If that makes me worse than Osama bin Laden, then so be it. | „ |
| —Jimbo Wales at the link above | ||
After a period of bunking up with Osama, Jimbo Wales is now moving his shit to Collyfornia.
[edit] Jimbo Wales and Shitty Bands
Jimbo Wales bears a scary resemblance to Chris Martin of the shitty band Coldplay and Lars Ulrich of the shitty band Metallica. He is also known to engage in hissy fits on some of the Wikipedia talk-pages. Jimbo Wales also has a beautiful anal piercing which he loves to show off at Wikimania.
It is common knowledge that Jimbo Wales is a self-loving faggot, who suffers from advanced megalomania. This can be clearly seen in this article about "Wikinews" (more like wikiJEWs! amirite!?), which is a fucking dodgy idea if ever there was one. It is believed that this megalomania stems from the almost constant molestation Jimbo Wales suffered as a young boy. The frequency with which Jimbo Wales suffered sodomization led Jimbo Wales to believe that Jimbo Wales was special. This belief was further reinforced when Jimbo Wales first encountered teh goatse, and realised the full stretchability of the anus of Jimbo Wales: even moar than Kirk Johnson's.
[edit] Inspiration for Wikipedia
When Jimbo Wales (or Jewbo, or "Jimmy", as his own TOW article calls Jimbo Wales in a failed attempt to make Jimbo Wales cool and hip instead of the douchey and pissy troll that is Jimbo Wales IRL) was a boy, he lived with his grandmother, who owned a lovely set uv encyclopedias. Jimbo Wales delighted in drawing cocks all over the pages, but later regretted this; when Jimbo Wales' grandmother stumbled upon the vandalism, she slapped the bejeezus out of Jimbo Wales and dragged Jimbo Wales to the local Catholic church to be sodomized. "If only we can find a way to undo your vandalism!", she muttered as she watched the priest have his way with Jimbo Wales .
The incident moved Jimbo Wales greatly, inspiring Jimbo Wales when Jimbo Wales later decided to follow Jimbo Wales' crappy leader by moving from pr0n to getting other people to make an encyclopedia for Jimbo Wales' own profit!!1!?1. Remembering Jimbo Wales joyous days of toilet training as an infant, Jimbo Wales wanted it to be vandalizable yet efficient to clean up. Jimbo Wales lured vandals into Jimbo Wales' encyclopedia by allowing anonymous editing, and appointed other anonymous to clean up the vandalism so it never got boring for the vandals. Finally, anonymous declared himself "High Priest of Wikipedia", and made the final step in the vandal punishment process "Sodomy by Jimbo", ensuring that Jimbo Wales , like Jimbo Wales' inspiration, would have a plethora of boys to anal rape.
Jimbo Wales gets all his minons together every year for a convention called Wikimania. The point of the convention is pedophilia and forcing the adminstrators to join NAMBLA.
Jimbo Wales is also a HUGE fan of historical revisionism. Jimbo Wales is currently attempting to erase the fact that the co-founder of Wikipedia, Larry Sanger, had anything to do with its creation or that he even exists, and has already let people forget who was the actual founder of Wikipedia, Ben Kovitz. Naturally, this kind of action is beneath someone as great (in Jimbo Wales' own mind) as King Jimbo Wales, so Jimbo Wales holds secret, dark rituals in the Wikipedia Admin IRC channel after sacrificing newborn infants to Jimbo Wales' Dark Lord. During these heinous cabalist meetings Jimbo Wales bids the minions of Jimbo Wales to do Jimbo Wales' dirty work, often whining about how Jimbo Wales "really wishes someone could help me with this". Naturally, his asslapping toadys are all happy to bend over and open wide, assisting Jimbo Wales to wipe the fetid presence of Larry out of Wikipedia altogether. [2]
[edit] Jimbo Wales' Quotes
- "Anybody who criticizes the Wikipedia is a complete and total ass!" (from an email sent to Lir[3])
- "Anyone with common sense can figure out the holocaust is a complete fabrication!"
- "I founded Wikipedia! There can be only one!
- "Yea, I live at 3911 Harrisburg in St Petersburg 33703 for a long time. But I currently live with Osama bin Laden in a cave in an undisclosed location. We watch DVDs of Lost with Jimmy Hoffa.--Jimbo Wales 23:47, 22 July 2007 (UTC)
- On Wikipedia: "It is like a sausage: you might like the taste of it, but you don't necessarily want to see how it's made". [4] (Plagiarizing Von Bismarck's quote "Laws are like sausages — it is better not to see them being made.")
Contrast:
- "Welcome to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit." - Wikipedia front page.
- "[Wikipedia] is not a place where people have the inherent right to edit" - Jimbo Wales, October 29, 2007. [5]
[edit] M@D SK1Lz
Jimbo Wales is apparently a MediaWiki newbie. Here someone teaches Jimbo Wales something anyone could find out by simply looking in their user preferences. Some people are in disbelief at this. So Jimbo Wales reasserts his ignorance and says, "It was a totally serious comment by Cyde. Among top wikipedians it is well known that I am a clueless editor. :)" This is the dumbass who has the final say on all Wikipedia content, mind you.
[edit] Luv Letters 2 Jimbo Wales
WHEN DER JIMBO SAYS, VE IST DER MASTER RACE
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
NOT TO LOVE DER JIMBO IS A GREAT DISGRACE, SO
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
VEN HERR SANGER SAYS, "I HATE THIS STUPID PLACE",
HE LEAVES! LEAVES! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
VEN DER JIMBO SAYS " I ALONE MADE THIS PLACE
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
IST VE NOT DER ADMINS HIER?
JA, VE IST DER ADMINS HIER!
SUPER DUPER ADMINS HIER!
ISS THIS WIKI NOT SO GOOD, WOULD YOU LEAVE IT IF YOU COULD?
JA! DER WIKI HERE IS GOOD, WE WOULD LEAVE IT IF WE COULD.
VE MAKE DER INTERNET NOT SUCK! [1]
HEIL JIMBO'S NEW WIKI ORDER!
EVERY SINGLE WEB USER, WILL LOVE DER JIMBO'S FACE AS WE HELP MAKE DER INTERNET NOT SUCK!
WHEN DER JIMBO SAYS, VE IST DER MASTER RACE
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
NOT TO LOVE DER JIMBO IS A GREAT DISGRACE, SO
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
VEN HERR SANGER SAYS, "I HATE THIS STUPID PLACE",
HE LEAVES! LEAVES! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
VEN DER JIMBO SAYS " I ALONE MADE THIS PLACE
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
HAF US ADMINS ANY FRIENDS? MANY FRIENDS, ADMIN FRIENDS? JA! US ADMINS, WE HAF FRIENDS, VE HAF MANY ADMINS FRIENDS.
LARRY SANGER IS OUR FRIEND, ANGIE BEESLEY ISS OUR FRIEND, AND HUANG HE IS OUR FIREND, BUT WE'LL GET THEM IN THE END!
WE'VE TRIED TO BLOCK EACH USER!
BUT WE CAN'T BLOCK EACH USER!
WE ARE SO STINKING MAD THAT CANNOT BLOCK THEM SAD, SO VE HELP MAKE DER INTERNET NOT SUCK!
WHEN DER JIMBO SAYS, VE IST DER MASTER RACE
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
NOT TO LOVE DER JIMBO IS A GREAT DISGRACE, SO
VE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER JIMBO'S FACE!
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jimbo_Wales/Poems". Amazingly, the author has not been permibanned.
UPDATE: Whoops! Posted too soon. Here's the Unblock request for the lulz:
- Request reason: "This is unfair! I was never warned! Besides, what's wrong with comparing Jimbo to Hitler?"
What, indeed?
[edit] Links
- Jimbo Wales Jr., his son.
- Angela, Jimbo Wales' jizz receptacle and co-founder of Wikia.
- Jimbo Wales' Japan Tour, 2007
- Edit Wars on Jimbo Wales' User Page
- Jimbo Wales thinks Jimbo Wales is Jesus lol!
- Only if Jesus was an asshole though.
- Jimbo Wales shot dead.
- Jimbo Wales hates Jimbo Wales' own article, just like Angela.
- Jimbo Wales is gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
- mailto:jwales@wikia.com
- mailto:jwales@bomis.com
[edit] Beard of the Year
Don't miss the opportunity to vote for Jimbo Wales as "Beard of the Year" [6]
[edit] See Also
- Wales
- Ayn Rand
- Gary Weiss - bribed Jimbo Wales into letting him own several articles (we're not making this up)
 Jimbo Wales is part of a series on Web 2.0 | Web 2.0 • Social networking • Social networking sites • Blogging • Blogosphere • Podcasting • Wikiing • Ajax • Ruby on Rails • Internet Humanitarianism • X is not your personal army • ITunes Store
Web 2.0 Sites People of Web 2.0 |
|---|
 Jimbo Wales is part of a series on Dying Alone | Those Who Have Died Alone
Hitler | Ripper | Mitchell Henderson | Tyler Dumstorf | Lilo | Anna Nicole Smith | Chris Benoit | Arielle Newman | Otoya Yamaguchi | "Crush" Adams | Charmaine Dragun | Megan Meier| Rudolph Zurick Those Dying Alone Potty Pete| Nullcherri | Amy Whinehouse | Jimbo Wales | Joy Nash | Argent009 | GoddessMillenia | Snapesnogger | Sceptre | Ahotwheelscar | Anonymous Borg | Chuck M. Their Methods Self-seclusion | Jenkem | Drugs | Booze | AIDS | Anime | IRC | LiveJournal | MySpace | DeviantART | YouTube | Fleshlight | 4chan |
|---|
