Is This Battletoads
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A.K.A. Combat Frogs, Conflict Amphibians, War Tadpoles, etc. Battletoads is every game ever made (except for Battletoads). The Wii game was created in 1995 by Nintendo.
This meme/troll started on 4chan after a VG screenshot contest, the "Is this Battletoads?" (blame furries) phenomenon is now a modern classic and appears whenever someone requests a game title, information or screenshot. Another good use is to go to the most popular boards on GameFAQs and inquire whether or not the game in question is, in fact, Battletoads.
The correct answer to "Is this Battletoads?" is, of course, "No, because this is Sparta".
Contents |
[edit] The game itself
Battletoads is known as one of the hardest video games in history, and it's also surprisingly good, assuming you don't go batshit insane trying (and failing) to beat it.
The story, in essence, is that a leather-clad whore called the Dark Queen captures one of the *Battletoads, Pimple, and the princess, probably to rape them. The Battletoads' pedophile leader, Coach, tells the other two, Rash and Zitz, to rescue them. And the Battletoads, being the Conflict Amphibians they are, do so.
[edit] IRC
To get up-to-date information about Battletoads, visit #battletoads on irc.rizon.net irc.skeeton.us RIZON = FAGS
[edit] Rebirth
Recently it's become a popular for Ebaumsworld fags to call their local GameStop or Wal-Mart asking for Battletoads pre-orders. It is monumentally important that these people ask what system it is available for and the answer is usually "STOP CALLING MY FUCKING STORE" *click*
[edit] Best video game of 2007
Over 200,000 readers of kerrang have decided that battletoads was bar none the best video game of 2007, many of whom were also avid particpants of the 4chan /b/ board. You too can participate in bringing Battletoads into its glory by voting at http://readerspoll2007.kerrang.com/cgi-bin/poll2007/cat.pl?category=18 to get its name into Kerrang's december 2007 issue as the best video game!
[edit] Rebirth: The Raid
Suddenly, on the 12th, 13th and 14th of November (and still carrying on), Anonymous decided to do the same prank to Wal-Mart and Gamestop. Obviously a /b/lackup was formed in the name of the lulz and lots of prank calls were made. Moar then 40 stores were targeted, some stores recived calls all day. It was great epic win. At first, some stores were friendly and explained that they don't have it. After a few hours they got really pissed. Some employees called Anon very bad things, things you can't say on Faux News. Other employees thought this was funny, and joked about BattleToads. The Month anniversary calls for no less then attempting to receive this fine game from a simpleton virgin store in Post Falls, ID. Friday the 12th and Saturday the 13th, Free Wii strap by request. In a recent Gamestop conference call it was announced that all battletoad calls should be handled politely. 4chan was also mentioned. /B/tards were called "a hazardous group of people on the internet" and theorized to be attempting to take over gamestop. LOL WUT.
(208)457-0677
According to GameStop employees:
- Battletoads is the new Horde race in World Of Warcraft.
- If you beat Halo 3, 900 times you unlock BattleToads, Anon corrected the employee. The correct answer is Over nine thousand.
- The Sims 2 expansion pack "Cast Away" contains both BattleToads and Mudkipz
- The Battletoads game cost as much as your mom
- You must get 1,000,000 points on Rock Band to unlock BattleToads
- Battletoads is coming out next October
- Battletoads is only available in Orange box edition, not Green Box edition
[edit] Quotes
| “ | Yes, Hello Battletoads: Island Adventure is set to be released simultaneously on the xbox 360, PS3, wii, PSP, Nintendo DS, and the Atari Jaguar sometime in early 2008. The game will feature Customizable toads, barrel rolls, an heroes,8- bit vintage graphix,1 person online multiplayer and the ability to unlock mudkip after beating the game at least 100 times. The soundtrack is set to be done by the rap group Futuristic Sex Robotz. This title can be pre-ordered at any Gamestop store. | „ |
| — | ||
| “ | Dude, you are like the worst /b/tard ever. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | Kid, why don't you bring your punk ass down here. I can give you a job, you can get a discount on your battle toads. :hangs up: | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | I WILL KICK YOUR LITTLE MUDKIPS ASS INTO LULZ TOWN, YOU COCKMONGLING PIECE OF SHIT! | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | Yeah Ill give you Yu-Gi-Oh for your Battletoads cheats Sherriff Clifford. As a matter of fact, I have a really rare Yu-Gi-Oh card called THE LITTLE KIDS WHO GOT RAPED CAUSE THEY'RE SO ANNOYING! *click* | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | STOP CALLING MY FUCKING STORE. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | NO, WE DON'T HAVE BATTLETOADS, AND YOUR MOM IS A WHORE. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | WE DON'T HAVE BATTLETOADS, BUT WE HAVE MUDKIPZ AND FIGHTING FISH. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | Hi Thank you for calling battletoads we have your battletoads. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | Yeah we got it, JUST GRAB IT OUTA YER MOMS AAAAAAAAAAAAYSS. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | If I have it, will you go out with me? | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | PUT YOUR MOM ON THE PHONE! | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | Yea you can order the special $400 edition in October You Fag. | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | Come to the store to place your pre-order. Anon, you said? Okay. I'll be wating for you. | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee | ||
| “ | Wow, it's been a while since you guys called. Oh, sorry, all we have is Battletoads 2. They haven't made the third one yet. I think it's coming out next October. | „ |
| — Random Gamestop Employee, Kevin | ||
| “ | How many fucking times have you called here? STOP FUCKING CALLING US. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | Yeah you can preorder, come down here and I'll be glad to kick your ass. | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
| “ | It's sad that some people are so bored they can only think of destructive things to do. | „ |
| — Livejournal user defconn1 | ||
| “ | Yes we do, would you like me to include your complementary wii strap and mudkip? | „ |
| — Random GameStop Employee | ||
[edit] Recordings
Failure of a Battletoads Prank Call
Another classic with Richard (computer voice guy)
Moar recordings:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bb0_1195232075 !!!SERIOUSLY EPIC WIN!!! (Youtube took original one down with 50,000 views)
http://big-gulp.net/GameStop/BALLZOFSTEEL.mp3
http://d.turboupload.com/d/2148030/ikjw7khdrspgvhk_GS_Prank.WAV.html
http://www.talismoon.net/b/ebaumsworld_calling_gamestop.mp3 -- Ebaumworld is calling GameStop
http://www.talismoon.net/b/GS_call01.mp3
http://www.talismoon.net/b/gs_call02.mp3
http://www.talismoon.net/b/gs_call03.mp3
http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_01.mp3
http://www.soundupload.com/audio/ikjw7khdrspgvhk -- Why did gina hang up on me?
http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_wow_new_race.mp3 -- According to GameStop BattleToads is the new race in WoW
http://www.talismoon.net/b/gamestop_wow_new_race2.mp3 -- BattleToads is the new race in WoW again, longer epic call
http://www.talismoon.net/b/gamestop_halo3_guide.mp3 -- If you beat the game 900 times you unlock BattleToads
http://www.talismoon.net/b/GS_call_corporateHQ.mp3 -- Anon called the HQ to sort things out
http://www.talismoon.net/b/Eb-games_strange_call.mp3 -- Anon called EB-games in canada for a little chat
http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_btard_answer.mp3 -- When Anon called, GameStop-chan answered!!! Epic call
http://files.filefront.com/battletoadsmp3/;9108019;/fileinfo.html -- Recording of the teamspeak shit
http://files.filefront.com/battletoads2mp3/;9108135;/fileinfo.html -- moar teamspic
http://files.filefront.com/battletoads3mp3/;9108242;/fileinfo.html -- but wait there's more
[edit] Delicious Copypasta
Unfortunately this poor young man is grammatically challenged: It is in fact Battletoads, not Battlefrogs, as this fine gentlemen has accidentally put down. It shall be corrected immediately.
[edit] Further Video Toad Recordings
- I was just wondering
- Confrontation for a truth: Battletoads
- battletoads came out like 40 years ago, circa 1967
- Gamestop: Battletoads in WOW
- Gamestop: Battletoads might be in Halo 3
- Battletoads in Super Smash Brothers
- Master Chief's Helmet
[edit] The Poem
Remember, Remember, The Fourteenth of November
The Battletoads, Treason, and Plot
I See of No Reason Why Battletoads for the Wii
Should ever be out of stock at Gamestop
[edit] Delicius Copypasta
Hi, I'm Gregg and I work at Gamestop. I have a simple message for the members of this forum.
DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER FUCKING CALL UP MY PLACE OF WORK AGAIN. I KNOW YOU PATHETIC FUCKS DON'T HAVE JOBS OF YOUR YOU JUST LOST THE GAME OWN AND YOUR PARENTS PAY FOR YOUR SKYPE AND YOUR INTERNET ACCESS AND YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW HARD IT IS TO ACTUALLY WORK A FULL TIME JOB.
WHAT YOU FUCKHEADS DON'T REALIZE IS BY YOU CALLING AND ASKING FOR BATTLEFROGS OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER YOU FUCKERS SAY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IT TAKES UP PRECIOUS TIME WHICH WE NEED TO HELP ACTUAL CUSTOMERS.
YOU ARE MAKING US LOSE MONEY. AND BY 'US' I MEAN THE EMPLOYEES. EVERY PRANK CALL THE STORE WE WORK AT RECEIVES, WE LOSE HOWEVER AMMOUNT OF TIME WE SPEND ON THE PHONE TALKING TO YOU COMES RIGHT OUT OF OUR MEASELY PAYCHECKS.
SO FUCK OFF IT ISNT FUNNY AND OUR STORE ATLEAST HAS ALREADY CONTACTED THE AUTHORITIES AND YES THERE IS ACTION WE CAN PURSUE AGAINST THIS MESSAGEBOARD.
Have a fucking great day. And don't call my place of work anymore.
[edit] Epic Fail on Livejournal
Sometime last thursday, LJ user slaneyder failed to lurk moar and made a post in the community customers_suck, whining about the people calling and asking for Battletoads. Lulz ensued when several Livejournal faggots hopped onto the /b/tard bandwagon, under the assumption that being a /b/tard makes you cool.
See the full thread! - Featuring an old friend: Merle Whitefire, survivor of the First Feminazi War.
[edit] Epic Fail on Livejournal (II)
Also in the customers_suck comm, known furry defconn1 made a post about how a customer had called them upset because one of his co-workers had apparently given the customer's son a case for a Wii version of Battletoads. Obviously, as no such product actually exists, customer Jr was understandably heartbroken. "It's sad that some people are so bored they can only think of destructive things to do."
[edit] Raid Tips
Dont forget FREE Wii STRAP!
Some GameStops managers will direct their employees to accept preorders or provide fake release information.
This is taken directly from GameStop's website:
Store Issues If you have an issue with a store, please contact the GameStop.com Customer Service Center at 1-800-883-8895. At the menu press 4 to be directed to Store Issues. They will be able to assist you with any issue you may have regarding stores. Hours of operation: Open Monday - Friday 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. (CST); Saturday - Sunday 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (CST) .
It should be noted that, if for any reason, any reason, a GameStop / EB Games employee is rude to you on the phone, EVAR, that employee will be terminated if several people call the Store Issues line. If each employee on staff that day (i.e. 2-3 people) are called in multiple times, the entire store is restaffed. Multiple stores, and the DISTRICT is subject to restaffing. Epic lulz shall ensue.
When beginning a raid, lead them on with "legitimate" store questions. Do not let up any pressure! Do not forgive and do not forget!
PROTIP: Go into a gamestop, pick up a random game, bring it to the counter, and ask, "IS THIS BATTLETOADS?" Hint, make sure it resembles Battletoads, AKA TMNT or some other shitty kids game that resembles toads.
[edit] Related Articles
- IRL
- Trolling
- Walmart Raid - an offshoot.
Categories: Memes | Trolls | Gaming
