Star Trek
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A science fiction television show that went on the air at least 100 years ago. The Star Trek fandom, known as Trekkies, are rivaled only by Star Wars fans in terms of their ability to be basement dwelling geeks.
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[edit] Star Trek Throughout the Years
- Star Trek: The Original Series - By all accounts, a terrible television show, but held up by Trekkies to be the best evar. Best known for William Shatner (aka The Shat]) as Captain James T. Kirk, piss-poor hero and rabid womanizer.
- Star Trek: The Animated Series- Possibly man's greatest achievement, and the only good thing to come from this Franchise since the death of it's creator. It combined the sex appeal of The Shat-Attack and his pet African Uhura, with the award winning animation of early '70's hippies. However Trekkies refuse to recognize what it did for America, and it is often a source of great debate.
- Star Trek: The Next Generation - Actually a halfway decent reincarnation of the Star Trek universe. Starred Patrick Stewart (who is bald) as Captain Jean Luc Picard, who Trekkies often debate with each other in terms of who was a better captain.
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - A spinoff of the Next Generation spinoff of the Original Series, only memorable due to characters from The Next Generation joining the cast. Focused too much on nigger-related shit, therefore usually referred to as Black Space Nine. Deep Space Nine is a prime example of why not to let niggers direct tv shows, movies, or anything else.
- Star Trek: Voyager - A show all about Kes', a wierdo pansy alien. As Kes was so fugly, they replaced her with Seven of Nine. Subsequently, Voyager became moar focused on Seven of Nine's arse. Her tits were relatively disappointing, and launched no spin-off shows. No one watched this because a woman was the captain.
- Star Trek: Enterprise - The result of Scott Bakula making a quantum leap into a dying franchise. It was set at least 100 years before all the other shows, making "Enterprise" a classic case of fanwankery gone terribly wrong. Many lulz were had when UPN cancelled the show because not even Trekkies were watching it.
- Star Trek: New Voyages - Star Trek fan James Cawley began collecting costumes from the original series when he worked on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He went on to spend over $100,000 constructing the U.S.S. Enterprise in an abandoned car dealership in New York[1]. Funding the project through his successful career as an Elvis impersonator (no really), Cawley has shot a new series of Star Trek, modestly casting himself as Captain Kirk[2]. (Also notable for the fact that the actor playing Scottie is even less convincing than James Doohan.)
- Star Trek: Cloverfeild: A new "reboot" of the film fucked up...sorry...directed by J.J Abrams to be released in 2008. Cliched time-travel plot sees Eric Bana hulk out and attack The Shat and rip out his vocal chords, paving the way for "The Transformed Man". Leonard Nimoy springs into action, only to find that this time he truley is NOT Spock, Sylar is.
[edit] Trekkies
Trekkies are hard-core fans of Star Trek, in all its various televised and movie forms. A good majority of Trekkies are basement dwelling nerds who spend far too much time on the Internets writing fanfic and slashfic, and who frequently dress up like Star Trek characters and attend conventions and speak Klingon to each other thinking they're leet. Most of the people consist of 40 yr. old loser-nerds who never had the chance to grow up ;-(
[edit] Fun Star Trek Facts
- William Shatner recorded music! Not only was he known for his terrible Beatles covers during his Star Trek days, but he recorded an album in 2004 that is masturbated on by indie fucktards frequently. And Khan kicked his ass!
- Patrick Stewart, a homo, was actually a Shakespearean actor, but decided to sell out and go the Star Trek route. He played the evil Sejanus in the BBC's version of I, Claudius....with hair!
- Gene Roddenberry created the series. He also wrote the lyrics to the theme song and may have been a pedophile and Freemason.
- Leonard Nimoy recorded the song and video "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" which then spun off into the LOTR series of books.
- Wil Wheaton was never popular in the series or IRL.
- Klingon, the language spoken by a type of furry character on the show, can actually be spoken. Geeks and nerds often have discussions with each other in Klingon IRL.
- The Borg, the resident computer nerd villains on the show are often the victims of will verb again! by such Unfunny people such as Uncyclopedians.
- Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are goddamned Jews.
[edit] Ways to Troll Trekkies
- Say that Star Wars pwns Star Trek and/or the Death Star could pwn the Enterprise in a matter of seconds. Because Trekkies have nothing better to do (Except masturbate to naked pictures of Kathryn Janeway), saying this will usually spark a totally pointless flame war that will last for years, possibly decades.
- Say the Original Series is a piece of shit. As above, this will spark a seemingly neverending flame war.
- Ask why Professor X was in The Next Generation and why the hell he wasn't in a wheelchair.
- Point out the irrefutable evidence of a connection between Star Trek and pedophilia (e.g. this Slashdot post).
- Tell an Enterprise fan that Trip and T'Pol is like watching a piss poor soap opera. Srsly, that works quite well, even better than flooding the shipper fansites with the pain series.
- Explain the the Federation uses a Communist economy and the "utopia" portrayed in the show is little more then a totalitarian regime.
[edit] To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
 A Tribble is fine too. |
 GOLDENDONGS! |
 Myspace angle, check! Gayness? At Least Warp factor 9.1. |
 Being a Trekkie is SRS BZNS |
 Chair not made for XXHueg! |
 Those are not wookies. |
 Data, and his new pet. |
 "Live wong and pwossper, derrhrr" |
 Gingers cannot live long, nor prosper. |
 Transportation to the convention |
 Roddenberry hated Jews |
 KLINGONS DID WTC |
 Going to cons dressed as Star Trek characters results in high levels of fail. |
[edit] See Also
- Basement
- Basement-dweller
- Nerd
- Heaven's Gate
- Micro Singularity
- Instructions on how to BE Kirk, just like James Crawley
