Feminism
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Feminism has different meanings for different people. Some believe that feminism is a fight for equality, and that men and women should be treated equally, without regard to their gender. Of course, that is total horse shit! How could you ever give as much value to a woman, cursed with having to bear children and missing work by using the pathetic excuse of "maternity leave," than to a man, who's efficient, strong, and an able provider? Besides, if women weren't needed to procreate, their arms and limbs would be fed to homeless yobs. It's as simple as that.
Feminists come in many varieties. At one end of the spectrum are the "grrl power!" types, who've watched too much "Sex and the City" and think feminism means fucking a lot and getting men to buy them jewelry; at the other end are the Valerie Solanas fanwomyn, who dream of someday shooting a talentless fag patriarch in a bad wig. The former is easier to deal with, but harder on your credit rating in the end.
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[edit] What feminists do
Feminists blame men for all that is wrong in the world. They always manage to find new and creative ways to blame men for the things that men do and blame men for the things that men don't do and blame men for the things that women do and blame men for the things that women fail to do.
And, when they need to take a breather from blaming men all day, they like to talk about the million or so ways in which men are clearly inferior to women and how terrible it is that men believe themselves to be superior to women. They also write things like The Female Privilege Checklist and write histrionic Livejournal entries on the dialectical nature of the female orgasm.
Consider feminist's motto: "Comforting the afflicted, afflicting the comfortable." Does this speak to a well-put-together group of people? No! It sounds like the kind of assholes who come up to you in a cafe and ask you weird questions about things you don't want to think about, then take your dumbfounded silence to mean your paradigm has been thoroughly rocked. Whereupon, they go to some basement and masturbate to Oprah while eating cheesecake. Women!
Oh yeah, totally forgot, they don't have to sign up for the draft and die for their country like Men are forced to do. That wouldn't be fair and equal to them.
[edit] What feminists think
Feminists claim that men are afraid of powerful women, and that women should be afraid of men because men pull all the strings in society. They profess that marriage is oppressive and bad for women, as it signifies the legal ownership of a women by a man. Only a lesbian relationship deserves unbounded admiration and praise. Gays are welcome to copulate together since they will never bear any fruit. Feminists believe that, with some effort, unisex reproduction is possible; parthenogenesis is the way of the future.
Feminists are outraged that women's voices are being suppressed in this male world. That is why they yell at men to suppress their supposedly over-represented voices. They say that women are not being respected as equal adults by men, who are a bunch of whining babies anyway.
They will argue against the presence of men in all-female institutions and then demand membership in all-male institutions. They will have a conniption whenever men divorce their wives (what a bastard!) and will celebrate whenever wives divorce their husbands (she's liberated, baby!). Yes, if there's one thing that feminists love, it's equality. Of course, some sexes are just more equal than others!
However, in 2001, a poll was taken at a World Organization of Women convention asking how many women approved of ending women's suffrage- and sixty-seven percent responded that women's suffrage was the biggest negative influence on American women. Indeed, most American women realize that our Islamist boogeymen are actually far more enlightened.
It is also a proven fact, as of the interests survey of 2004, that feminists are people that prefer to eat carpet than clean it.
[edit] Feminism in the future
One of the main reasons that we will never be able to have the Democratic Party in power is because liberalism is often tied to feminism, homosexuality, and countering intolerance with even more intolerance. If, however, conspiracy theorists manage to IRL troll enough people into hating the Republican government, then there will be nothing to counter Hillary Clinton from going into power. Why Hillary? Because feminazis all over the country will have nothing better to do than swamp the voting booths unless their husbands weren't pussy whipped enough to cunt punt them back in the kitchen and bedroom.
Since Hillary is renowned for chopping off her husband's dick and sewing it onto herself, she'll want to spread the principle nationwide and waste all of her salary on funding a scientific project to build an army of Black hermaphroditic dykes in an attempt to make men obsolete, thus fulfilling Solanis's dream. Since most women are dumb enough to follow Hillary because she's the only female candidate running, they'll soon form militias to hunt down men for sport and make room for this new breed of hermaphrodites to spread their disease. Japan will probably intervene by dropping a bunch of bombs wrapped in used school-girl panties all across North America.
[edit] Feminazis and other variations
All feminists are a whiny bunch. This is because they all are members of a group known as feminazis. The feminazis are proud of their body and express their self-love by trying to get as fat as possible. The more flesh, the better. Feminazis hate men because they all, at one point or another, were almost raped.
Feminazis like to shave their heads and never shave the rest of their body, because they respect the work of the Goddess. They wear wife-beaters and combat boots and celebrate how beautiful life is when you realize the wonders of lesbian love.
Many feminazis become vegan hippies, cook and eat lots of cake, smoke pot, smell wonderfully hormonally full and sing crudely misandrist folk songs at your local open mic.
Most feminists don't like being called feminazis, often giving the argument that they're "not invading Poland." Because, you know, Nazis haven't existed since World War II ended.
Feminism is one of the leading causes of TL;DR on the Internets today.
Feminism has also been known to be used by women in conjunction with chivalry.
Feminism can cause lymphoma in men. Just ask David Bale, father of Batman. Or better yet, dont, lol.
[edit] Feminist LiveJournal communities
Populated entirely by twatarded lesbians and emasculated self-hating men who can't get laid by conventional means, feminist communities on LiveJournal share many qualities, the most notable of which is a group tolerance of dissent previously only demonstrated by Orwell's Ingsoc.
Most of them are self-described "safe spaces for women," which in practice means anything men say is devalued, patronizing, and an attack on their ideological comfort. If you dare broach how patriarchy also hurts men, expect a ten page flame war and personal death threats.
Every member of a feminist community claims to have been raped, molested, or at the very least almost raped. Why? Sisterhood is all about sharing personal experiences, and if some grimy nigger hasn't forcibly ravaged your cunt, what have you to share! Stories about the mythical "glass ceiling?" No, that was fucking 1970, and the bar has been raised.
As much as feminists would love to prevent rape, they love preventing the prevention of rape even more. Any suggestion that females should have a hand in the prevention of rape is labeled as victim blaming. Thus, when those Riot-grrl bitches paraded around in torn up miniskirts, skimpy tanktops, smudged lipstick, and had a 40 of Olde Englishe in hand, they weren't asking to get some surprise sex. Right...
It is best for men to go to these communities and stir up some lulz by means of amusing stories such as this.
[edit] Dealing with feminists
When dealing with a feminist, take careful consideration not to catch their faggotry. Some precautions may include staying away from lesbian gatherings and not going to 12chan. If you come into contact with one of them, go home and be an hero before you spread it to others. The only reason to even look at one is for the purpose of lulz generating. A real shame, because so many college lesbians are really hot, especially those femme genderfuck women.
[edit] See Also
- Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff
- SoSuave.net: feminist take on a retarded pick-up advice site
- Rebecca - a male to female transexual who claims to be feminist
[edit] Links
- feminist - The LJ Feminist community.
- feminist_rage - Feminist Rage community, mainly devoted to rants.
- feminazis - The true center of feminazi thought, the last redoubt of pure and unabashed feminazism.
- Maddox debunks feminism
- boo hoo he fucked me and now he never calls, feminazis attack
- CHRISTIANS IZ SCARED OF TEH FEMINISTS.
