Justin Timberfake

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This article needs moar lulz. You can help by adding moar lulz.

Timberfake confuses a mic for a penis.

Taking advantage of women.

[edit] Birth and Family

Justin Timberfake was born inside a dirty straw hut in Africa. His retarded mother has very few teeth and his father was the ringleader of a notorious posse known to stalk the animals on a neighbouring game reserve and perform acts of beastiality with those animals, big and small. His unexpected birth was a shock to both his mummy and his daddy, whom were angered to discover that even the wild animals did not want their son after they left him outside of the hut one night hoping he would die. His retard mother, sister of Gothreaper1, has been quoted as saying "Ahhh uhh liwwle shhhht just-js-jut wuldnnnnnnn't duyyyyyyyy!" Scientists believe that the reason the animals chose not to devour little Timberfake is because they were impregnated with his half-siblings, thanks to his father.

[edit] Fame

Bald psycho slut Briney Spears attacks unoccupied car with an umbrella.

Timberfake was noticed by the media as a teen when he auditioned and was lovingly welcomed into the extremely gay manufactured boy band *N-SYNC. However, Timberfake became really famous when he got into the pants of the now bald psycho slut Britney Spears and they began a three year relationship, which ended in March 2002. Timberfake accused the psycho slut of infidelity with many many men of all shapes and colours. Some reports state they were even sometimes triangular. Spears hit back some time later saying she "knows a secret about Timberfake" but then enraged everyone when she refused to elaborate. *N-SYNC also met it's demise, but who cares about that?

[edit] Solo

With the soaring popularity the timely break up had allowed him, Timberfake then launched his solo career, the first single Cry Me a River, supposedly written about the psycho slut, reached number one in many cuntries. However, speculation over Timberfake's sexuality had been growing after the slut's comments, and his characteristic high pitched drool made matters worse as only raging homosexuals can reach notes that high. Case closed, he is definately a homo.

[edit] Present

Although Timberfake's popularity has wavered in recent times, he thought that maybe bringing some sexy back would be just the trick to coax all of his 16 year old girls and homosexual fanboys out of the woodwork, and it has. And now, his voice is even more girly-like, so now he must be even more of a faggot. His skills at faggotry make even the old school pooftas spines shiver with gay delights.

Timberfake has just broken up with his main squeeze Cameron Diaz, when she caught him attempting to finger one of their beloved fish. Sources say that the fish were in the fish tank at the time. Diaz was reportedly seen running from the mansion screaming "I could except the men, but I won't have you touching our fish like that!" Yes, he is his father's son.

[edit] Trivia

• Can speak some Spanish. (Big shit)
• Favorite Harry Potter book is "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
• Was offered the role of Catwoman in "Catwoman (2004)".
• Subscribes to more than 80 teen magazines.
• License plate on one of his cars: "Blue Oyster".
• Former partner of Chad Michael Murray.