Virus
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Either referring to a infectious micro-organism or a computer program designed to fuck with other computers.
Contents |
[edit] First Definition
A microscopic entity that infects other organisms and reproduces through the host's cells, often causing negative health effects. Most virii are able to eventually pwn their host if left untreated. It is debated by scientists as to whether virii can be classified as living organisms (which is awesome), as it cannot reproduce by itself, a requirement for the biological definition of the word 'organism.' Virii are also immune to antibiotics (also awesome), further supporting the thought that they are not alive. After a human immune system pwns an infecting virus, it 'knows' how to dispose of it if it were to ever try to fuck with you again. Some virii, however, constantly mutate, causing the immune system to have to figure out how to pwn it again.
[edit] Commonly Known Virii
Cold: Extremely contagious, colds are spread through any conceivable contact with an infected person. Usually causes minor flu symptoms. There are so many strains of the cold virus that it is impossible to be vaccinated for them. So deal with it, pussy, and show up for work.
Influenza (The Flu): Commonly spread by airborne saliva. Can cause varying degrees of fever, headache, runny nose, nausea, and fatigue. This virus is smart enough to tell time, as it mutates annually, and many, mostly old people, are encouraged to get the vaccine for the flu that particular year since they suck too much to deal with it themselves. The flu was originally developed by the jews as a precursor to AIDs.
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV): Spread through the sharing of most bodily fluids, excluding saliva. Statistics say that it is most commonly spread through the sharing of needles, but we all know it's gay buttsex. Causes AIDS. This virus is strange, in that it doesn't pwn you itself, but rather destroys the immune system of its host, which lets other sucky virii, like colds, pwn you instead. But don't be fooled by it's passive behavior; if you get HIV, you will be pwned. Period. So would you rather be pwned by a lame virus, or would you rather go out with a bang, shot down by S.W.A.T. teams as you shoot every person not as lame or gay or buttsexed as you?
See also: Carlow Crab
[edit] Second definition
A virus can also mean a malicious computer program designed to fuck with your settings, programs, e-mail, or entire computer altogether. Usually made by lonely hackers who like to make computers do what they want cause they can't get anything else to, including 16 year old girls and their penises.
[edit] How Does I Shot Virus?
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[edit] See also
- Last Measure
- Computer Gremlins
- Fdisk
- Anything Microsoft
- StarForce
