Global warming
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Global warming, or climate change, is what dirty hippies think will happen in the future. No one has ever actually seen global warming, pointing to the fact that said hippies probably imagined it while on LSD. All we have to do is keep burning shit, and we'll have enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to really change things.
The only people who believe in the shit that is global warming are Hippy douchebags and arbophiles. Because of this, every liberal in the world will at a moment's notice wangst at you about the "coming doom".
Scientists just found out the way to prevent the global warming - populate the world with more niggers, because they are black and black absorbs light. Less light means lower temperature means no global warming! Teh epic win.
What will supposedly happen when Global Warming comes:
- Earth's mean global surface tempurature will increase by 1-5 degrees C
- Sales of lawn furniture increase 300%
- Hippie tree-huggers bitch about how Gaia is crying, meaning that things haven't gotten so bad that they stop bitching and get a job
- The world's poor take it in the ass (figuratively)
- All mixed drinks come with little paper umbrellas, to keep them from evaporating in the hot sun.
- The world's poor take it in the ass (literally)
- 3000 Katrinas will head toward New Orleans, all of which will look like fetuses
- Furries will be even more uncomfortable in public
- The United States will go to war in the Middle East for water
- Al Gore will eat your children.
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[edit] Planet Earth is alive
Some people think that Earth is like a giant living creature, and humans are viruses. So what happens when we have viruses? We raise the temperature to kill off the virus, then everybody is happy. There are slight problems with this theory. a) the hippies are glad that earth will fix itself except they will all be doomed. b) we can nuke the shit out of Gaia.
[edit] Dramalamadingdong cha cha cha
Global warming is a constant source of lulz and drama on the internets. The theory is that supporting the global warming theory (even if you don't know jack shit about it) will automatically add OVER NINE THOUSAND to your I.Q. and will put you in the same category as that raspy voiced wheelchair motherfucker who wrote that book about God fucking the Milky Way in its hole and making such an explosive cumshot that it created the universe.
The argument goes like this:
"Global Warming is like, so totally true because I saw Al Gore in a movie talking about it."
"Yes, but what about the rabid, heretical nature of the scientific community to denounce anyone who questions the validity of some of the findings and the absolutely insane methods suggested to combat it?"
"OMG U R LIEK A KNUCKLDRAGGER! YUR STUPIDD! U NEEDS TO BE BANNED LOLOLOLOLOL"
For maximum lulz:
- Go to a message board where the easily butthurt majority consider themselves misunderstood intellectuals (i.e. geeks).
- Start a new topic stating that you think Global Warming is fucking bullshit.
- Kick back with a Milwaukee's Best, and watch the lulz unfold before your very eyes.
[edit] Additional trolling advice
There are other ways to troll global warming supporters. Playing the retard troll isn't always the best option. A good way to get maximium lulz here is to pose as a legitmate poster then making posts that seem legitimate but are made to start drama. Global warming supporters are ussually narcissistic cunts thinking that the're better than raptor Jesus because the're saving the world. Play on this ask them about their own electricty use and flame them for polluting the world. For even more lulz get contradictory evidence to global warming (www.friendsofscience.org) and a flame fest will ensue.
[edit] Global Warming Was an Inside Job
blablablabla...further cover up:
[edit] Related links
- Join the virtual march and make a virtual difference today!
- World Jump Day harnesses the power of human jumping to change things for the better.
