Pedobear
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pedobear is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes, where he was originally called Kuma, literally "Bear". All Japanese and by extension things they create are assumed to be giant pedophiles so the prefix "Pedo-" would be considered redundant in Japan. While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear is the mascot for 4chan's legion of slavering pedophiles, specifically targeting prepubescent girls (or "loli"). Like King Leonidas and Happy Negro, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually being pasted into whatever piece of child pornography the b-tards have got their paws on. For unknown reasons Pedobear’s origins have also been linked to the internet spawned deity Cthulhu. There's also a team of similar animals - Scat Rat, Shotacat, Watersports Pig etc - but nobody gives a shit about them.
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[edit] Anatomy
Pedobear is missing a foot because he chewed his way out of a law enforcement bear trap in order to desperately hobble after underage pu55y. You can clearly see the claws on his back foot, its called "perspective" you fucking retard.
[edit] Pedobear and Chris Hanson
According to the NBC news program Dateline and host Chris Hanson, law enforcement officials estimate that as many as 50,000 sexual predators are online at any given moment, including Pedobear, and many of those are lurking in 4chan, 7chan, 12chan and the like. Chris Hanson has been targeting Pedobear and his love of loli specifically for some time now, with absolutely no success. At one point, Hanson and Perverted Justice, the online anti-pedophile organization, had the bear surrounded in a house in New Jersey, but as soon as Pedobear saw his arch-nemesis come around the corner and say “Have a seat, I want to ask you a few questions...” the bear bolted up the stairs of the house and jumped out of a closed 4th story window to avoid capture. A subsequent police dragnet of the area also failed to locate him.
Hanson summed up his disappointment at the near miss recently on his blog: “It was during that story that you met a very disturbed bear who had had a sexually charged online conversation with a decoy posing as a 15-year-old girl. The bear later exposed himself and masturbated on a Web cam while he stated “TITS or GTFO” to the decoy. He has since been on the run from various charges, including using the Internet to transmit obscene material to a person under 16, attempting to entice a minor to engage in an illegal sexual activity and traveling with the intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct with underaged persons. When he is caught, and I do mean when, Pedobear faces many years in prison and must register as a sex offender for life. Chris Hanson was raped by Pedobear when he was a child.”
While Pedobear has been a high profile figure among online predators and still makes numerous appearances on 4chan, he has yet to be caught. Some /b/tards insist that, like the legendary Bigfoot, he simply cannot be caught, and appears and strikes at will and without remorse, and strictly for the lulz.
[edit] Current status
At least 100 years ago, Pedobear was forced to flee 4chan, when the 4chan mods made posting jailbait or loli - or even replying to a thread about them - a bannable offense due to worries about the 4chan Party Van. However, since the mods are complete and utter failures and unable to even go with the rules they themselves set, Pedobear and his fans didn't need to move with the cocksmoking furfags at 7chan, despite claims to the contrary from the batshit insane fundamentalist 7chan zealots, returning, indeed, to 4chan after the faggot mods decided to stop enforcing the rules that caused /b/-day out of sheer faggotry. However, on a more positive note, he has taken a solemn vow to never swear again.
Recently, Pedobear was caught watching Mature Porn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbIncLgOPLg
[edit] B& from Gaia
A recent update from the retarded developers of Gaia made it so you can no longer say or post Pedobear pics. This is because the developers are cowards and don't want to be raided by Anonymous (allegedly, "Anonymous is a bunch of child molesters", though of course making such a declaration increases the likelihood that Anonymous will raid). So to be sure they're protected, they're going to put up curtains, add an advanced security system, put up phoneline trackers and BUY FUCKING DOGS!
However, it is now known that Pedobear had infiltrated Gaia Online's servers some time ago. He can be seen by the sharp eyed to whistle innocently as he buys the little ones from vending machines. See Gaia Online for more info.
[edit] ATTACKS ON PEDOBEAR
Recently the giant cunt theshadowmistress along with her ally Thermalraven decided it would be a good idea to attack Pedobear. Soon after, Anonymous raided her, and her posts for the last month vanished... The invasion is currently underway and needs your support, as many have been lost in the defense of Pedobear. Last Thursday, rumors flew up that Pedobear is to be Banned from DA. Anonymous will be retaliating on 11/20/07.
[edit] Copypasta
Okay, to start off I am a pedophile. Not an ephebophile (although I'm attracted to girls that age as well), a full blown underdeveloped, pre- or barely pubescent girl loving pedophile. I've always been attracted to girls that age, and for some reason I just never stopped. But I never had the courage to act on it, or even tell another person in my personal life. I was too afraid of what they would think and what would happen to me if they knew. But all of this changed when I met Jeff.
I'd known who Jeff was because we went to the same schools our whole lives, but it wasn't until I was around him in college that I found out he was a pedophile as well. Whereas I am skinny and reasonably attractive and my desire stems from a whole host of other mental defects contained within my skull, Jeff was fat, acne ridden, and generally a disgusting person altogether; in other words, if he was going to get laid, it would have to be on less than ideal terms, and being an anime/manga freak, he saw nothing wrong with his sexual tastes.
I found all of this out after making a comment in class that was borderline pedophilic, and he was the only one to find it funny. I talked to him later, approached the subject tentatively in case he just had a warped sense of humor and not a warped libido, but it turned out he was the genuine article.
We started hanging out a lot after that, and occasionally we'd make joking comments about how we were going to pick up some little girl some day and fuck the shit out of her. Eventually, the comments turned into hypothetical plans, and finally we found ourselves seriously considering doing it. going to the mall or elementary schools on dry runs to scope out a potential victim and see what would be the easiest way to get her alone. In the end, we settled on a ten year old girl who besides being fairly cute, walked to and from school alone on Mondays and Wednesdays when her mother couldn't pick her up. The way the city is set up, it's like six or seven distinct areas on high hills and then no development at all in the low areas because of flooding. Jeff and I figured we could pick her up when she went to one of the low areas and drive into the forest to have our way with her until we were through, then we'd threaten to kill her if she told anyone because we knew where she lived, yadda yadda yadda.
The night before, we tried to decide whether it would be better to do it in the morning or afternoon. Jeff wanted to do it in the morning because he said there would be less traffic to see her, but I wanted the afternoon because the school would notice she was late faster than anyone would at home since no one was there. We played rock, paper, scissors, and afternoon it was. But there was one last thing.
"Hey," Jeff said. "How many times do you want to have sex with her before we let her go?"
"Nine," I said, "one less than her age lol"
"lol"
And that was that. It turned out really good doing it in the afternoon because that day, we both had blow off classes we could sign in to and then slip out from the dumbass CC professors to have an alibi in case anything went wrong.
So we drove out to where we knew she'd be coming and drove back and forth periodically so no one would see us just sitting there. Finally, we saw her walking down the road and we drove past her, then turned around and came up behind her at a bend in the road. I was driving and saw that no one else was in a line of sight to spot us, so I told Jeff it was go time. I slowed down, he opened the back door, grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her inside the car, then I accelerated, and headed toward the off-road camp site.
It wasn't too far from the main road, but there were enough trees that no one could see us, and when I stopped the car, it was like being in the middle of total wilderness. Jeff still had hold of her arms and a hand over her mouth, but her legs were kicking like hell into the space between the front seats and I set about putting an end to that.
I forced her legs open and got between them and for the first time got a really up close and personal look at her. Her face was caked in make-up like a chinese doll and she was wearing a skirt so short, taking a picture of her would have been considered child pornography.
"Fucking slut," I hissed.
"You're about to lol," Jeff laughed.
"lol"
I started feeling up her legs, but as much as I wanted to pace myself, I went straight for her pussy and couldn't think of anything else but getting her panties off so I could. I stuck my hand up underneath them and felt around for a few seconds, confused.
"Dude," I said, "She must have started puberty when she was seven and never learned to trim. This bitch has so much muff hair, it's like fur."
I didn't realize it then, but I was starting to. Before I could express it in words, Jeff said, "Yeah, well she still seems pretty flat. Let me see how those mosquito bites feel." And with that, he took his hand off of her mouth and she roared.
It was then that I realized she wasn't a ten year old girl at all; she was a bear disguised as a human.
Jeff was shocked but I don't think he even saw the paw come up and hit him across the face. His jaw splattered against the side window and he just started screaming, making the most awful sound in the world because he only had half a mouth to do it.
I was pretty much scared shitless and I let go of its legs and started trying to crawl out on of the doors, but it kicked me and I flew through the front windshield in a crash of glass and broken bones. I skidded off the top of the hood and from my spot on the ground, I watched the bear maul Jeff and what was left of Jeff for the next five minutes, but I couldn't think of anything but trying to get to the road for help. I couldn't have pulled the bear off of him if I'd tried, but even if I'd managed to wave down an ambulance and two police cars, I don't know if it would have done any good. They later explained to me that it was like the bear was an interior decorator, and the theme of the inside of my car had been "Jeff". They recovered his jaw but they never found the rest of his head.
I dragged my bruised, broken, and bloody body toward the main road as fast as I could, eventually collapsing at the edge of it. I turned over and looked back into the forest to see if the bear was coming after me, but even after it got out of the car, it was still busy with Jeff for the next few minutes.
After that, the bear wandered off into the woods, and I passed out in a pool of my own blood. Also, cocks.
[edit] Gallery
 Clean your mouth before someone sees it! |
 Sorry, no swirlface!!1 |
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 Okay, THIS BEAR can talk |
 Pedobear is subliminal. |
 Sometimes he gets impatient |
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Pedobear can't take his eyes off her |
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 bros before hoes |
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 Pedobear the Game - pre-order now at your local Game Stop! |
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 "I find your lack of loli disturbing." |
 Pedobear cosplay |
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 Wherez the loli? |
 Pedobear IRL |
 Run, Loli, run! |
 Pedo Bears later years |
 She's too old for you, Pedobear |
 Even Windows users are not safe. |
 Next? |
 I Loev hur |
 Pedobear stalking his next loli. Poor loli. |
 Pedobear loves Communist children. |
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 Not even Pedobear would hit that |
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 Approved! |
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 Pedobear dynamix entris x2 lol |
 Pedobear can frequently be found hiding in the shadows at childrens' portrait studios. |
 ...when in doubt |
 bath time |
 Oh you... |
 No loli ? |
 Pedobear is sneaky as fuck. |
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 Hunting for young in record shops everywhere! |
 TWO! TWO MOLESTING PEDOBEARS! AH AH AH! *thunderclap* |
 Kids like Pokémanz, right? |
 Pedobear in his natural habitat: Chasing jailbait. |
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 One of Pedobear's ancestors sporting some vintage loli |
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 Pedobear doesn't mind weeaboo lolis either, and will cosplay if need be. |
 Pedobear plays Tibia where he finds little children. |
 Oh sweet, a pedobear. |
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 He appears very subtly in various places. |
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[edit] See also
- Pedo bear
- Pedopals
- Mark Foley
- John Mark Karr
- irish282
- Random Page
- Madeleine McCann
- Shotacat
- Young Tubers United
- Interpol Hunt SwirL-Face
- Gaia Online
[edit] External Links
- Pedobear merchandising
- IRL Pedobear tries to molest girlscout
- Pedobear explained
- Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Loli Loli
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Pedobear is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
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Categories: 4chan | Memes | Galleries
