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Friends
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Friends are non-existant mystical well wishers from the realms of the imagination, a lot like God. Friends was also the name of a fucking retarded television show that was cancelled because nobody gave a shit about it.
Contents |
[edit] Friends: You Have None
IRL, A friend is a well-wisher or a buddy. On LiveJournal, it is someone on your Friends list (note: these people have no IRL friends). This version of the term "friend" can be used as both a noun and a verb. For example:
[edit] IRL Friends
Rumor has it these people exist, and many users of the Internets claim to have many, but this is probably not true IRL. It would appear to the untrained eye that many IRL people enjoy friendship but they're secretly rapists and just want to see you nude.
[edit] OL Friends
Even OL most people will claim to be someone's "friend" just so they can see their goods. When people camwhore, this is an excellent way to increase one's list of so-called friends. Direct communication is not a must for OL friends; only reading is. Although IRL if a friend asked you "what's up?" you'd probably just talk to them, OL you would probably say "rml".
[edit] Shittier than Shit TV Show
Last Thursday someone made a TV show about the piece of shit idea that watching a group of people who are supposedly friends is actually interesting. At least 100 people watched this piece of shit and many of them killed themselves when it finished. It was about a bunch of gay guys who had transvestite neighbours who never used condoms and this resulted in assorted pregnancies and flings. There was a lot of Buttsecks involved.
Its target audience was 16 year old girls but it soon spread to the rest of the population like the infectious virus that it was. It was the most pointless and banal footage in existence and it doesn't even deserve to be listed with other TV shows because then more people will remember it.
Many viewers quit IRL when they realized that the tiny people in their televisions were not actually their friends.
[edit] Advice for the Sexes
- For the guys
- Friends are only there to agree with you when s/he breaks up with you, and when you need someone to find you a new lay.
- For the ladies
- The only friends you have dangle in between your legs. If there's nothing, you have none. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. They only are your friends because your current fling is attractive to them, or you have a habit of hot people (to them) hanging around you. THEY WILL SELL YOUR SOUL FOR A NICKEL if given the chance.
[edit] Conclusion
Friends are just holdovers until you find that special someone in your life. Don't be shocked when they sell you out for a quick nut.
Rach is a crusty whore who doesn't deserve any friends.
