Henry Kissinger

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A jew.

Self-portrait.

Henry Alfonso "Poncho" Kissinger is a sly international criminal who gained recognition as part of the comedy act Kiss my Dick, along with Richard Nixon during the 1970s, and later as Gerald Ford's schemer collaborator. Currently he's on the lam.

1 Background
2 Foreground
3 Pwns
4 Related articles
5 External Links

[edit] Background

Kissinger enjoys a petit snack during a conference.

Kissinger is a graduate of the City College of New York where he was a founder of the secret society Get Rid Of Slimy bitcheS (G.R.O.S.S.). While his public persona was that of the stereotypical bored jew, Poncho began to participate in a number of comedy albums and B-movies. The knowledge of showbusiness gave him the necessary skills to treat people like whores --which eventually would be of great use in his political and diplomatic careers.

Kissinger rose to national prominence as Nixon's National Security Advisor, a position from where he began to cultivate his voracious sexual appetite. In short time, Kissinger amassed moar and moar power by collecting sex films featuring large amounts of compromising and potentially dangerous information on many important and famous people, including Alexander Haig, David Rockefeller, Rev. Jerry Falwell, Liza Minnelli, and future first lady Rosalynn Carter. Allegedly, the jewel of this collection was a 16mm hardcore short film from around 1947, featuring a young George H. W. Bush "in unnatural acts with a turkey."

An extensive investigation of Kissinger's files by the FBI in 2005 showed that Poncho maintains the tapes, and still polishes his candlestick frequently with them.

[edit] Foreground

He was arrested in 1971 for pwning his bitch

At the height of his popularity, Kissinger was even considered sexy, earning him the nickname 'Ass Hungry'.

After the Watergate scandal, he managed to come out clean of that shithole, continuing in power as the good traitor he was. His sex habits changed a bit; by 1980, after he left the government, he declared to the press that he "would not date women who don't use moistened tissue on visits to the toilet, as they are not completely clean." He insisted that potential female suitors must not rely solely on toilet tissues in the bathroom, even advising to "make the switch to [the recently introduced] baby wipes if they don't already use them." He told Washington Post, "If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go inside a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

“	Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac for attracting a splendid, fragrant and freshly shaved pussy.	„
—Henry Kissinger, on 60 minutes.

Kissinger also became known as much for his crusades for Jew World Dominance, and other political causes as he was for buttsecks. He further demonstrated a violent reputation for his public outbursts and antics. In 1971, he was arrested for assault and battery against his then mistress, the porn actress Kathy Hilton. Kissinger was sentenced to two months in jail and later, to four months in drug treatment for repeatedly failing drug tests while on probation.