Lisa Ventura
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article is entirely factual. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. |
| “ | Erotica is not Porn. It is a story, poem, article, picture or painting or a novel that stimulates the senses and turns the reader on in such a way that they want to bring themselves to orgasm while they read it. | „ |
| —Lisa Ventura trying to make porn sound more classy | ||
Lisa Ventura is the 32-year-old Conservative candidate in the affluent St Clement Ward in Worcester, England who took the final solution and DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING when it was discovered by the Birmingham Post that she used the alias Rose McCaine to discuss her sex life, sell and review sex toys, and publish her own and others erotic fiction on her website eroticfiction.org that she had been running for 7 years. The Conservatives were widely expected to claim victory in the St Clement seat, that they had previously won by a large majority. However after her "double life" had been exposed, the Public Relations Consultant lost her seat as Labour enjoyed a massive 18 point swing as the Conservatives lost control of the town hall, shattering her dreams (according to her deleted myspace) of "being the next female Prime Minister". She is unfortunately not related to the awesome Professional Wrestling legend Jessie "Slack Jawed Faggots" Ventura.
| “ | I am very much like the character of Carrie in a lot of ways...when Charlotte discovered the new rabbit vibrator, and I just HAD to get my hands on one. Since then my bedside drawer hasn't been without one! | „ |
| —Lisa Ventura | ||
As any EDiot knows Deleting Everything never works, and within a few minutes of research journal entries were quickly found in the google cache, with titles such as:
- Anal Sex & How To Enjoy It
- Online Dating & Cybersex
- Plug In Pleasure
- A Web Of Seduction
- The Amsterdam Experience
- At Your Service
- The College Student
- The Gym Instructor
[edit] The Horny Writing of a Conservative Candidate
| “ | His hand found its way into my wet pussy and he made me cum again and again, he always knows how to make me cum. It was so nice, and I held off touching him as long as possible but then I started doing the same. Then I couldn’t keep my hands off his erection any longer and soon his jeans were off and I had him in my mouth. | „ |
| —Lisa Discusses her sex life in the Site Changes/News Page on EroticFiction.Org | ||
| “ | Dana released Hans’s cock from her mouth with a huge slurping noise and got up...Alan nodded as Hans’s cock entered his wife, hearing her cries of pleasure fill the room as her cunt was stretched to capacity with it’s thickness...as Hans’s cock thrust in and out of her, faster and faster. Her cunt tightened against Hans and she could feel herself getting closer and closer and on the edge of a delicious orgasm, her cunt muscles tightening around Hans’s cock as her orgasm exploded, feeling it in every inch of her body. Angelo continued to masturbate over her face until both he and Hans came at the same time; white cum filling her pussy and splashing all over her face. | „ |
[edit] Links
- A Way Of Seduction By Lisa Ventura - mirrored
- Taking Lessons in Group Sex by Lisa Ventura - mirrored
- eroticfiction.org - Deleted and Destroyed !!!!
- Rose McCaine Myspace - Deleted !!!!
- Lisa Ventura's Myspace- Deleted !!!1
- Lisa Ventura's Blogspot - Deleted !!!!
- Her Business Website - Still Up!!!11
- Feminazi Website - Still Up!!!11
- - Slimming Website - Still Up!!!11
Contact Her for teh Lulz:
- Skype: msmassmedia
- MSN Messenger: ms_mass_media
| “ | I kissed him again as I worked my hand up and down on his cock....He caressed my swollen clit with his fingers and two of them found their way into my very wet sex. He moved them in and out of me, brushing past my clit with each movement. I felt the tension rise within and I knew that I would soon climax in his arms...We moved frantically against each other, and the knowledge of being caught turned us both on more. I could see the windows of the room where the party was going on in the distance and I was sure that we could still be seen, but with Loris driving his hard cock into my pussy, I really didn’t care.......I met him thrust for thrust, wanting to take more of his cock into my pussy, determined to have more of him | „ |
| —an extract from A Way Of Seduction By Lisa Ventura | ||
