Monica Lewinsky
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Monica Lewinsky is a fat Jewish prostitute best known for having had buttsecks and oral sex with President Bill Clinton.
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[edit] Childhood
Monica was born in 1973 in San Francisco, California, to parents Mel Gibson and Barbra Streisand. After sleeping with her entire high school football team, Monica moved to Washington, DC to become a prostitute.
[edit] Scandal
Republicans had hoped to catch Bill Clinton in an extramarital affair in order to impeach him. After Clinton spurned Ann Coulter, they realized that he was not interested in anorexic transsexuals and hired Monica for the job instead. Monica had a Whitehouse job arranged as a janitor and hastily seduced the President.
When word of the affair reached Christians, they were outraged. Republicans cited article XXX of the United States Constitution, which forbids the President from having sex, as grounds for impeachment.
The charges were eventually dropped, however, when President Clinton threatened to have Hillary testify on his behalf, and prosecutors decided it wasn't worth listening to her shrill voice to pursue impeachment.
[edit] Current Wherabouts
After the Clinton scandal, Lewinsky was hired by some fag marketer for a designer purse company to create her own line of designer purses and bags. Intended for trendy bimbo cunts in Beverely Hills, the product line wound up being dumped on outlet malls, where after sitting on the racks for years collecting dust, they were given to the homeless - partly out of sympathy, and partly out of punishment for being smelly, unwashed, unemployed, mooching homeless fucks. As an attempt to atone, Lewinsky now participates in helping homeless shelters operate, usually by bringing the bums cheap stogies and administering blow jobs free of charge.
As part of her severance package, she was spayed and neutered, thus sparing the Gene Pool one more source of contamination.
