Internet Law
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
is part of a series on
Internet Law.
- Detective
- E-lawyers
- Internet court
- Internet guilty
- Internet jail
- Internet lawsuit
- Internet license
- Internet military
- Internet money
- Internet police
- Internet settlement
- Internet trial
- Internet Vigilante Group
- Legal action
An Hero Law | Anti-Goatse Law | DMCA | Godwin | Megan | Rob | Secret Doc
Internet Crimes
© Infringement | Defamation | Deflamation | Free Speech | Harassment | Icon Theft | Identity Theft | Plagiarism | Spam | Stalking
Internet Defenses
Barely Legal | Fair Use | IDIFTL
Other Topics
Allegations | Anecdotal | © | CC | Dreamhost (DreamHost Does Not Obey The Law) | Facts (Checking the Facts) | Lies | Proof | Truth | Slander
We are all qualified attorneys at lol and every word of these articles is sound legal advice.
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Internet Law is the Law of the Internet. OL laws are very different from IRL laws.
Encyclopedia Dramatica is a lot like LII for Internet Law. Please see the articles listed at the bottom for the most comprehensive information on the web on the web (ha ha get it).
[edit] The Characters
- E-lawyers
- Rising to the level of e-lawyer requires that one side start spouting off a bunch of legal-sounding bullshit. The best e-lawyer will use arguments learned from TV shows like Law & Order or Matlock.
- Detective
- LJDrama.org often employs detectives to dig up background info on drama, specifically when the drama originated in real life. The detective utilizes his skills to reveal all relevant information regarding the participants, the real cause of the drama, and will even suggest possible resolutions (most commonly suicide).
[edit] Internet Legal Process
- Legal action
- The correct response when someone makes you angry on the internet.
- Internet court
- A rare phenomena when someone successfully sues someone else over the internet. Many Internet lawsuits have been lost, won and threatened, but few have actually been carried out. Perhaps most notably, mediacrat won a settlement from hepkitten for $10,000 in Internet court.
- Internet trial
- When internet drama plays out in a public form or, more commonly, the accuser's head, resulting in declaration of internet guilt of the accused.
[edit] Miscellaneous Internet Laws
[edit] Siannan's Law
Created by Auntiesiannan, the law states that the appearance of a retarded Amish midget in a thread at any point shall be considered equivalent to the invocation of Godwin's Law.
When an angsty human buttplug who likes it in the ass enters a thread, suddenly the flame wars between people cease, the discussion degenerates to nothing of value, and the thread is thereby abandoned.
[edit] Protagoras' Law
Protagoras' Law is a variation of Godwin's Law. It states, "The longer any given philosophical argument, the probability of a dismissal of said argument as sophistry approaches 1." Protagoras' Law is not funny unless you've taken a course on the Greeks.
[edit] Pythagoras' Theorem
A variation of Godwin's Law, the Pythagorean theorem states that "As a thread grows longer, the probability of A2+B2 equalling C2 approaches one."
[edit] Furry's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are a furry, you lose.
[edit] Bloodlent's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are an emo/scenester/goth, you lose.
[edit] Proof's Law
A variation on Godwin's law which states that, in any given discussion about anything, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a debate over rock vs. rap approaches one. At this point, all arguments may be refuted by a fifty Proof post. Tupac is also acceptable, but neither have been attempted in practice as of yet.
[edit] Connery's Law
Mostly applied to YTMND. The funny value of a fad is an inverse proportion to the funny value of the joke that started the fad.
[edit] Comic Law
In any given discussion about comic books, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a debate over Batman vs. Superman approaches one.
[edit] Banaan's Law
Banaan's Law states that for any given internets user, his Internet Reputation (ePoints) is inversely proportional to his IRL Reputation.
[edit] Krade's Exception
Krade's Exception to Banaan's Law states that while having high eRep implies having low IRLRep, having low IRLRep does not necessarily imply having high eRep.
[edit] YCTAT Law
You cannot troll a troll. Although not written in stone, when teenagers attempt to fight experienced trolls they often forget this.
[edit] ATCTAT Exception
If a troll is of enough experience, he can, in theory, troll another troll.
[edit] Trolling Paradox(aka Schroedinger's Troll)
If everyone on the internet was a troll, and if the YCTAT Law holds, then no one could troll anyone else. If no one could troll anyone else, the internet would be devoid of trolling. If there was no trolling on the internet, then there wouldn't be any trolls. If that were the case, everyone online would just be a normal user. If everyone was just a normal user, then any of them could be trolled. This contradicts the first statement, which claims the opposite. Since the statement cannot be both true and false as the same time, it's a logical paradox. However, the ATCTAT Exception presents a case where it is possible to troll a troll. Therefore, the YCTAT Law is only valid when this exception is also taken as true.
[edit] LJ Friends Corollary
The LJ Friends Corollary can be derived from Banaan's Law, since it's a particular case of it. It states that the length of your LJ friendslist is inversely proportional to the amount of IRL friends you have.
[edit] Banbot's Hypothesis
In any flame war, argument or discussion online, it is important to have an entirely irrelevant tangent. This enables the thread to be completely derailed, allowing for unexpected drama and lulz. Tangential discussions are very popular with trolls who find it amusing to destroy any possibility of a conversation making any progress towards reaching a satisfying conclusion.
It has been hypothesized that the creation of tangential discussions of continuously decreasing relevance can indefinitely circumnavigate Godwin's Law. It seems doubtful that this hypothesis can ever be tested as no troll is likely to have sufficient expressive ability to avoid the effect of Protagoras's Law throughout a thread of infinite length. Nonetheless, you are welcome to refer to this concept as Banbot's Hypothesis.
[edit] Samadhi's Law
In any discussion among animal activists/vegans/vegetarians regarding their lifestyle choices and/or beliefs, someone will inevitably bring up PETA. The person who brings up PETA or attempts to use PETA as a legitimate source automatically loses the debate. Once Samadhi's Law is called, the discussion is dead.
[edit] Sturgeon's Law
"Ninety percent of everything is crap."
This fundamental law of the universe was discovered by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon. The law applies to everything, including Encyclopedia Dramatica articles.
Some pedants insist that this is not Sturgeon's Law, but Sturgeon's Revelation. They are full of shit.
Some pedants insist that the last word in Sturgeon's Law is "crud". They are uptight librarians who can't say the word crap.
[edit] Furry's Trump
Similar to Godwin's Law, furry debates are lost when somebody invokes Furry's Trump. Furry Hitler takes the form of calling a fur one of the three Cs: a christian, a conservative, or a capitalist. Presumably, this means the ideal fur is a wiccan communist Chomskyite.
[edit] Hamill's Law
The quality of the fan fiction in any given fandom is inversely proportional to the quality of the fandom's canon.
[edit] Ket's Law
Virginity, left untreated, leads to repeated viewings of guro porn.
[edit] Obligatory WoW Theorem
Trolling, much like fighting in World of Warcraft, generates aggro. Trolling too much in too little time generates the troll too much aggro, even though they may be buffed and ready to attack. In some cases, some may say its smarter for the troll to take some time to cool down and use hard hitting skills more sparingly. Still a theorem, since it has yet to be proven that a troll cannot continue trolling forever if said troll's level is sufficiently high (presumably approaching infinity).
[edit] Hindenburg's Law
The greater and more monumental the engineering achievement made by man, the probability of said achievement being destroyed in a catastrophic disaster approaches 1. (ie the Hindenburg, Titanic).
[edit] Seven's Law
Seven's Law (also referred to Seven's Law of MMOs) is an adaption of Godwin's Law, pertaining to the likelihood of a comparison to World of Warcraft in any discussion of a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG). The rule is as follows:
As any discussion pertaining to any MMORPG grows longer, the probability of a comparison to World or Warcraft approaches one.
When this law is invoked, much like Godwin's law the person who made the comparison automatically loses the conversation. The only exception to this rule is known as the "WoW exception", which states that if the user is speaking in a WoW forum or in the game itself the rule does not apply. -C7
[edit] Hungryandhollow's Law
Hungryandhollow's Law states that, for every additional day a person on the internets does not post pictures of themselves, the probability that they are fat and/or hideously ugly increases.
[edit] Bunker's Law
A satirist's popularity is inversely proportional to the percentage of people that understand him.
This is based on the observations of Carroll O'Connor, known as famed bigot Archie Bunker on "All In The Family". Towards the final days of playing his Archie character, racists and homophobes would walk up to him on the street and thank him for standing up for what they believe in.
This law may be at the root of the cancer that is killing ED.
[edit] Banhammer Theorem
Also known as "That fucking mod's law!" which states that as a thread grows longer, the probability of someone receiving the banhammer approaches 1.
[edit] The Dartboard Corollary
An addition to the Banhammer Theorum which states that as a thread grows longer , the possibility of someone being banned without any reason whatsoever approaches 1.
[edit] Your Mother's Basement Law
As a debate grows longer the probability of getting accused of living in your mother's basement approaches one.
[edit] God's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are a theist, you lose. This is due to the fact that theists are about half as intelligent as steamed prawns, though theists are the much preferred cuisine according to lions. God's Law holds even in debates that are not clearly related to religion, such as PS3 vs. 360. This can lead to the interesting result that both sides are demonstrably wrong. Though counterintuitive at first glance, this actually makes perfect sense, as most people are fucking idiots.
[edit] God's Law, Corollary
In a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. Included for completeness, the Corollary to God's Law is no law at all. This can be easily proven by assuming the truth of the Corollary and deriving a contradiction.
0) In a debate, if you are an atheist, you win.
1) In a debate, if you are a theist, you lose. (God's Law)
2) If you lose, your position is proven wrong.
3) Sometimes some theists and some atheists will find themselves on the same side of a debate. (e.g. Burger King vs. McDonald's, there are theists and atheists on both sides of the debate.)
4) Some theists believe that Burger King is better than McDonald's.
5) Some theists believe that McDonald's is better than Burger King.
6) Burger King is not better than McDonald's. (From 1 and 4.)
7) McDonald's is not better than Burger King. (From 1 and 5.)
8) Some atheists believe that Burger King is better than McDonald's.
9) Some atheists believe that McDonald's is better than Burger King.
10) Some atheists are wrong in the debate of Burger King vs. McDonald's.
11) Some atheists are wrong in the debate of Burger King vs. McDonald's and in a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. (from 10 and 0, contradiction.)
12) Therefore, it is not the case that in a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. (Discharge the assumption from which a contradiction was derived.)
This is an example of logic, so you are encouraged to ignore it.
[edit] God's Second Law
A variation on Proof's law which states that, in any given discussion about anything, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a debate over Atheists vs Christians approaches one. At this point, all arguments may NOT be refuted and the thread is over. If the thread does not end, it will eventually be invaded by the Jews and Towelheads who were pissed off because they were ignored for being Jews and Towelheads. After that the thread will either branch off into an e-lawsuit started by a greedy Jew, or if everyone leaves the towelheads will make a bomb threat and inevitably get V&'d.
[edit] External Links
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| Internet Law is part of a series on serious business |
Internet Law • Irony • Internet disease • Internet drama • Identity theft • Free Speech Serious People |
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