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Bureaucratic Fuck

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Those holes are not for fucking.

NOTE: This article is not by the book and does not conform with established blah blah blah ...

...blah does not discuss any one of a number of sexual positions involving a piece of bedroom furniture. See List of Sex Moves.

A Bureaucratic Fuck is a guy or gal with no life who gets off on oppressing other people over stupid fucking petty bullshit.

Wikipedia is an excellent place to laugh at bureaucratic homos homophobic fucks, aka pedo sick fuck's without having to follow their orders. There, the king of the bureaucratic fucks is the Most Supreme Overlord and Grand Pimp of Wikipedia, wikipedo Jimbo Wales. It is in him that all Wikipedians find their true calling. Oh hail him, Lord of the Serious Business!

HEIL! -Mein Kampf Wikipedo Fuhrer!

[edit] Admin demographics

Seriously, Wikipedia is a top-ten destination on the Internet and ends up in the top ten of all too many Google searches. In the real world, some degree of responsibility and accountability would be demanded of such a massive organization (like Enron, there has to be someone to sue!).

The average age of a Wikipedia admin is 17. WTF? And that, buddy, is skewed upwards by the presence of a handful of degenerates whose only social outlet is this group of kids. Yes: One of the world's largest Internet communities is run by cliquey kids! The founders have decided to delegate their day-to-day operations to a bunch of children. Imagine the biggest losers and social misfits from high school, the hormonal angst, the zit cases, the dateless geeks, the fatties and cripples—and think of all that teeny-angst and anger. Now give them the power to run a massive online community and create their own governance with no oversight.

Even a nominal amount of editing on Wikipedia will result in user conflicts that bring in administrator attention—so ask yourself:

Do I really want my knowledge, even my person, to be judged, juried, and executed by Piggy, Roger and Jack with his choirboys?

(that's a "Lord of the Flies" reference, look it up).

The Wikimedia Foundation is quite fine with this state of affairs, going so far as to brag about it. As Seigenthaler found out, they believe themselves immune to legal threats. As a non-profit, they have no assets (although Jimmy Wales has a collection of sports cars). While they claim immunity as an "Internet Host", some would argue that the foundation's structure makes them liable as publishers. The next step would be to pass the buck to their contributors and operations, who are suit-immune minors or anonymous.

They have the maturity and life skills to pass judgement on adults.

[edit] {{unblock}}??

Don't even bother using this because no matter how well-reasoned the {{unblock}} request, it always gets declined. Like this one, "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A TROLL M0RESCHI YOU STUPID BASTARD! AFTER WHAT YOU FUCKING DID YOU DESERVE TO BE SHOT!" Clearly the person has proved their point, but the bureaucratic fucks are immune to reason or logic.

Whenever you edit on Tor and the node is blocked, always put an unblock message on that IP claiming it's no longer Tor. Sometimes they even get fooled. Admin said, "First time I've seen such a request where the user was telling the truth."

[edit] Bureaucratic Fucks on ED

ED is not TOW, although new users often expect strange and alien TOW concepts like respect and human rights when they get here. While on TOW, the mechanisms in place to ensure fairness and equity get abused, on ED the aforementioned mechanisms exist largely to foster such abuse, generating further lulz at the expense of the hapless victims, including locking their talk pages after banning them. To further assist in milking the lolcow, ED:ARBCHAT was created. Some poor fools would like to think this is their ticket to salvation and a return to the loving embrace of the greater ED community, but really it is just another heartbreakingly macabre circus ring for the cadaverous and hideous net-denizens that tyrannically rule ED to lighten their unbeating and blackened hearts with drama, like an ocean trying to warm itself around a candle.

For example, see this transcript of a shocking, Stalinesque arbchat show trial, conducted purely for purposes of propaganda, persecution of class enemies, and lulz.

[edit] Examples

[edit] 172

172 is one of Wikipedia's oldest users, and one of its most abusive and petulant. [1] Although he is described as a "history professor at a U.S. undergraduate institution" by the Miami Herald [2], 172 is far from nonpartisan and unbiased. Claiming to be a "stone cold-neocon" on his user page, 172 pushes his agenda through a protective phalanx of administrators and other abusive editors. However, his independent influence may be overstated. For example, he has been described as a mere "ass puppet." [3] Also see this.

172 is also a charter member of the Wikipedia Jewish cabal.

[edit] Alison

Everyone's favorite bisexual with mental problems. Rumor is, she got to be an admin and checkuser by agreeing to a threeway with Jimbo Wales and Angela Beesley.

[edit] Bastique

A fine upstanding gentleman taking a picture for Myspace.

Bastique/Cary Bass is an administrator and the Volunteer coordinator at the Wikimedia Foundation. He is the replacement for the disgraced Danny Wool at WP:OFFICE. Also noted as an apologist for SlimVirgin sockpuppetry, when trying to explain her multi-day editing binges he said:

Back in my old days...2000 and before, I found crystal methamphetamine could keep me online for periods 24 hours and longer...sometimes wayyyy longer. Just saying, it doesn't have to be multiple people. Bastique▼^parler _voir 03:27, 8 September 2006 (UTC) [4]

He is also connected with the "Southeast Conference of Clubs, a self-selected association of members of "alternative lifestyles, including Levi/Leather, BDSM, Fetish and Bear interests." Furries need not apply.

[edit] Blnguyen

Always fun to see an admin reverting an obvious grammar fix like it's vandalism. [5] He does this a lot.

[edit] Dmcdevit

Dmcdevit is a 19-year-old former arbitrator and current checkuser who talks on-wiki in the dully dulcet tones of a 45-year-old hippie burnout transcendental meditation counselor—but schemes behind everyone's back like a fat 8th grade girl with no friends. He is at the center of the recent TOW—genius!—discovery that admins are mean, bored, and conspire to fuck people over on the TOW admin IRC channel. No names were named until ... McDevit failed to cut himself out of an arbcom case involving Irpen, and another admin said: "I saw a sitting arbitrator (User:Dmcdevit) and a few highly respected admins discussing the way to get rid of a productive user (Irpen) via a 'slow administrative process that looked like arbcom to them'."[6] McDevit is lying low now, hoping it will blow over, and would appreciate your assistance in smearing further shit on his newly shitty reputation, plus as much bad publicity as possible.[7] He also likes to let disputes escalate for the fun of it,[8][9] but the arbcom doesn't sanction their buddies.

[edit] Dragonfiend

See the article on Dragonfiend for moar!

A self-righteous prophet of Jimbo Wales, Dragonfiend is responsible for single-handedly ruining webcomics research on Wikipedia. Now instead of going to Wikipedia for a quick synopsis of a TL;DR archive, people now have to go to Comixpedia, which despite being the home of all the articles Dragonfiend has deleted, has more editors than readers because everyone only goes there to write about their own comic.

[edit] Ed Poor

"Uncle Ed" is perhaps the best example of a bureaucratic fuck. He does everything by the book! Ed Poor works for ABC and has been quite clear that he does not want people to mention this, as ABC might find out that he is a Wikipedia-editing Moonie. Ed Poor likes to ban people for things like asking for their talk page to be unprotected. He is a disgraced ex-administrator on Wikipedia; however, he still holds sysops on Conservapedia. His main claim to fame during his tenure as a TOW admin and bureaucrat was deleting the VFD page on Wikipedia, and crashing the server for fifteen minutes.

His abuse got so bad that a true hero, FuelWagon, became a martyr and sacrificed himself to stop Ed Poor. This led to a big session of Arbcom (Wikipedia's e-court, complete with a totalitarian-chic name). Arbcom, of course, decided that they should ban FuelWagon. However, the case drew lots of attention and Ed Poor pretended to step down out of embarrassment (some wrongly think he was desysopped, but it was by choice). However, being a sneak and addict, he never really stepped down, simply continuing with another account.

Hephaestos: More commonly known as "The Bastard"

Ed Poor upon learning Harry Potter 7 spoilers, "I would NOT have wanted to know any of the points you mentioned before reading Year 7. Bad enough I found out that Snape kills Dumbledore before reading Year 6."

[edit] Lar

Self-confessed process wonk, Lar is a relatively new wikipedia admin, but is fast getting a name for himself as a Bureaucratic Fuck. His main claim to fame is that, to prevent impersonation, he duplicated his username on ED but discarded the password! What a fucking genius!

[edit] Mikkalai

The wikipedian Mikkalai is a bureaucratic fuck. He also tried to claim his penis was thirty inches long.

He is a pathological liar. During the ED VFD process, he claimed that he loved Wikipedia and loved humor, a combination which is not only scientifically impossible but also fucking ludicrous. OMG WTF?

Later, he listed an article that had survived two votes for deletion (VfDs) and voted to delete it, even though it had survived twice before. He likes the policy allowing endless VfDs, but not the one against attaching one VFD to two or more different articles.

[edit] Misterdiscreet

A classic example of a deletionist. He takes pride in nominating articles for deletion and constantly patrols the recent changes log (oddly enough, he never reverts vandalism). He believes that a source that isn't a major news organization such as CNN or NBC should be disregarded and that any statement that is not backed up by said organizations should not be on Wikipedia. [10].

[edit] Pathoschild

Jesse Martin aka Pathoschild is a wiki pedophile bitch from Canada, from Quebec area. She set herself as Queen Pharaoh of Wikipedia Projects[11]. The bitch believes wikipedia is all powerful living being and can solve all the problems.[12] She likes to talk about equality but only outside of wikipedia. The bitch is a prostitute steward for the Wikimedia Foundation, a checkuser on Wikipedos Meta, an administrator on the en-Wikisource, en-Wikipedia, en-Wiktionary, and Meta-Wiki, and an editor elsewhere, somewhere in a whore house where she contributes her time to bang other pedophiles. Her contributions are typically to structure and policy development and process maintenance. She typically fucks everything up and is proud of the free blow jobs she performs at Wikimania's.. Sometimes this he/she bitch likes to take braks to obtain 'perspectives'[13]!

[edit] Phil Sandifer (formerly Snowspinner)

He's real super tough on the internet.

Snowspinner is the fellow who set himself up as "Dictator for Life" of the Wikipedia's Member Investigations Committee. When he discovered that the term "dictator" was unpopular among the masses, he used a novel bureaucratic technique to make himself appear like less of a fuck ... he changed his title to "intern" but kept the same amount of power.

Eventually he was hated so much he changed wikipedia account name to Phil_Sandifer. Despite thus cleaning the slate of his reputation, he quickly made himself hated again. So, when people found a short story about a murder on his [livejournal, they posted it to Wikipedia Review and tracked him down IRL. Then tons and tons of people complained to his university. Schools have a long history of sending people to jail whenever they write a short story about killing. The University of Florida sent in the cops, who fingerprinted and DNA-scanned him, dug through his garbage, and sent him to prison to be raped, only releasing him after he'd enjoyed it enough for the experience to turn him bisexual. Go here to see how karma finally swung around and bit Fat Phil in the ass.

[edit] Raul654

Raul654 is the fellow who gave himself a 3-year term as head of the Wikipedia arbitration committee, despite being supported by less than half of editors;—even Jimbo himself has acknowledged, "Raul is a bit uptight."

The #wikipedia chat log searcher shows that he's said:

Wikipedia has a disproportionately large number of gays, transgendered, and furries. The reason for this has yet to be satisfactorily explained, although it has been suggested by NullC that "all new mediums are first explored by the minorities and the marginalized". -- Raul's 8th law

Raul has displayed a disturbing predilection for Pokémon, frequently promoting their articles to featured status and presenting them on the main page. Sick. Still the above quote is admirable as it means that at least one of the Wikipedia admins has some sanity in discriminating against these fucking queers.

His re-election bid failed, and he know how time to look up some delicious CP.

[edit] Redwolf24

Redwolf24 is a bureaucratic fuck who independently bans users for arguing with him. He once ran for bureaucrat, but was fucked by the community. This is because he is a bureaucratic fuck. Amazingly, not even Wikipedia was enough for Redwolf24 to satisfy the needs of his bureaucratic e-penis, so he had to create an account on Uncyclopedia purely for the purpose of further whining and bitching about this website. No srsly, you won't believe this shit!

[edit] Rhobite

Rhobite in all his glory.

Finds people who have been on a wikibreak for at least two months and then sneaks in an indefinite ban on them. [14] Instead of giving a reason, he makes a personal attack. He joins MONGO in hiding the 9/11 conspiracy. He's hated so much that he hides his website behind two private registration companies, so no one will know he lives in Amherst, Massachusetts and solicits underaged males at http://kuro5hin.org/user/CaptainSuperBoy.

[edit] Samuel Blanning

Much feared admin on TOW, an aspie with no sense of humour and a self-righteous hatred of the lulz. Soldier in the ED and GNAA article wars. Known for blocking without (much) justification, his user page has been vandalized more than 100 times. He deleted the Wikipedia article on Bantown because they were 'A bunch of nerds too queer even for Wikipedia'. Quit Wikipedia forever in June 2007, after being butthurt by too many userpage blankings and defacings.

[edit] Tawker

Administrator "Tawker" has used his blocking ability as a source of blackmail, as shown by his comments on Wikipedia and on his blog at the time. Tawker has been persistent in maintaining that he will only unblock Stephen (who has proved himself the user of the Stephencolbert account) in return for appearing on the show. Evidence clearly suggests that the "Elephant" page was edited by "Stephencolber" three hours before the Colbert Report with the facts that Stephen stated on the report, further justifying his use of this account.

Tawker also enjoys long walks on the beach, fine wine, deleting GNAA and threatening to DDoS Encyclopedia Dramatica.

18:03 [Tawker]ok guys
18:03 [OldDirtyBtard]i can oink the wifi from the coffee shop newt door
18:03 [Tawker]my generator just kicked in
18:03 [hepcrime]bring it on tawker
18:03 [hepcrime]lets have a war
18:04 [hepcrime]NO WAR LIKE A HAX WAR
18:04 [Tawker]nah
18:04 [Tawker]I cann DDOS you
18:04 [OldDirtyBtard]hep: i found a new recipe today
18:04 [Tawker]instead
18:04 [Tawker]very easy

Nathanr is a big fan.

[edit] Uncle G

Uncle G is a Wikipedia administrator who has been around for at least 100 weeks. He is notable because even though he is an administrator, he has no user page, in fact refusing to create one. This pissed off a bunch of people when he nominated himself for consideration as administrator, resulting in great lulz in the voting process.

VERY strongly oppose. Clearly Uncle G doesn't accept community consensus, because he still refuses to create a userpage. To me, the arrogance of not listening to the community is worse than not having a userpage. And, in turn, it's not the lack of a userpage that bothers me as much as the red link and its implications on Recent Changes, votes, polls, and other such things. It's disruptive and it wastes everyone's time. We're here to build an encylopedia and be part of a wiki community, not to make an ideological point. If Uncle G simply redirects his userpage to his user talk page, then I would support.

Oppose. It's fine for editors to contribute without a user page, but it's not fine for admins. It rather seems like a policeman or any other official insisting on performing the job without wearing a uniform to identify himself properly. Uncle G needs neither user page nor adminship to continue his great work.

[15] A butthurt Uncle G bleated in response that "it is a false inference that anonymity implies bad faith, on the grounds that anonymous users make thousands of good faith edits to Wikipedia every day." Considering the hilarious anonymous vandalism that Uncle G's userpage has gotten, this was an extremely lulzy comment.[16][17] [18][19]

Unkle's first administrator nomination resulted in a stalemate because the vote-counters couldn't make up their minds, resulting in a second vote, which Unkle won, Florida-style.[20]

Græt lulz-generating drama later resulted when Uncle G unilaterally handed down from Mount Sinai, amid thunder and lightning, a manifesto on notability.[21] Uncle G claims that in order to be notable, something must be "non-trivial", a truly lulzy statement considering that 99% of Wikipedia is crap about video games, pedophilia, anime, and sex positions.

Unkle's pronouncement was promptly listed by some troll for deletion, who then suddenly realized that a user-page essay was not the usual Wikicrap to be mercilessly deleted. [22]

Trolls cruelly struck a second time, putting Unkle up on Requests for comment [23] because of that annoying userpage thing. This time, the troll was the one who got butthurt.