Republican

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Most Republicans are About 50% Skinhead
Most Republicans are About 50% Skinhead
All elephants, like all Republicans, eat their young.
All elephants, like all Republicans, eat their young.
Current Pope of the Republican Party
Current Pope of the Republican Party
Ann Coulter, Dominatrix
Ann Coulter, Dominatrix
Road map to Republicanism.
Road map to Republicanism.

Republicans are the most prominent political party of the United States of America in the same way that when you look at a gay all you see is the AIDS. This is ironic because not only are most of them Christfags who are self-proclaimed crusaders against gays, but also because most of them are gay anyway, so that's three tiers of lulz. They use an elephant as their symbol they say "because we want to, now get your fucking face out of our business!" but no one is buying this. Many believe they use it not only because they are elephant like in reality, with their unbelievable obesity to their natural tendency to never forget anything out of spite, but also because the most evil animal of all (you know which one I'm talking about) was already taken. Republicans are naturally hypocritical, and they will turn around any statement they said a week before. They have the natural ability to beguile any pundit to forget anything they said about niggers, gays, beaners, their own policies they said they would never abandon, or anything else. Case and point? They are the worst thing ever.

Contents

[edit] History

above:Republican Legislation: always shits up the economy
above:Republican Legislation: always shits up the economy

Founded by L.Ron Hubbard in the 6th Century B.C., the Republican Party, now associated with conservatism, was once the party of civil rights, freedom, and ferret-legging, but is now marked by syphilis, racism, oppression, room-temperature ranch dressing and pedophilia. Many speculate that the party's downfall occurred when their failed attempts at cloning Hitler resulted in the birth of Sonny Bono. Others believe it was due to the satanic rituals they performed to summon Richard Nixon onto the earth. However, the most likely explanation is that the party was gradually infiltrated and usurped by a reptilian race from another dimension. Regardless, Republicans now stand for everything their party used to hate.

Satan loves Republicans, and sends every one of them straight to his cock when they die. Yet, every time you vote Republican it makes Jesus smile. And who the hell wants that to happen?

Ronald Reagan is a prime example of a Republican. The child bride of the evil, alien overlord, Xenu, he was notorious for his empathy towards racists and fascists, and hatred for gays and other minorities. In fact, Reagan singlehandedly created AIDS by fucking his pet chimpanzee in a uranium mine.

In the year 2000, George W. Bush, was crowned Lizard Pope of the USA by Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris. All Republicans/Reptilians hate Muslims. That's why they tried to pin 9/11 on them through a huge government conspiracy. Then he started a war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein fucked his mom, Barbara Bush, way too hard back in the 60s and up the butt. Bush's ascension to the popish presidency proves that even a cocaine addicted drunk with the IQ of a monkey's left nut can become a U.S. president if his parents are rich enough.

The United States Republican Party is currently the largest source of evil in the world, and they eventually hope that by following their hero they can save all that is good and decent.

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[edit] Myspace Republicans

Since Myspace is a place of liberals, there aren't that many Republicans at all. Therefore, they are the whiners of Myspace. They usually whine about how the liberals whine all the time. They also bitch about how liberals control Myspace and their freedom of speech.

Then, there is this unfunny nigger: Super Slave. Here, he blames atheists and agnostics for the increase of violence in the US: TL;DW Attack him if you wish, but be careful. He considers his views to be the best in the world. If you counter his points, he will attack you and block you on sight!

[edit] Trivia

Not in my North Carolina.
Not in my North Carolina.
  • Republicans and Hippies are natural opposites. Just like cats and dogs, or Furries and humans.
  • Contrary to popular belief Republicans and Democrats are not opposites. The only real difference is, while Republicans are evil, Democrats are back-stabbing douchebags.
  • Elephants are big bullies threatened by mice.
  • Republicans are big bullies threatened by mice
  • The Republicans' new motto is: "God said it, therefore I must follow it!"

[edit] List of gay Republicans

Why Republicans shouldn't be around small children.
Why Republicans shouldn't be around small children.

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links

Republican
is part of a series on Politics

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