Country music
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
YEEEEEEEEHAAAAW! Saddle up boys 'N girls and get ready to crank some good ol' fashion honky tunes! Get ready for a genuine skoal spittin', nigger hatin', sheep fuckin' good time of goin' down on the farm with teh Grand Ol' Opre.
Cuntry Music, (pronounced-Cunt-tree mmyou-zick), was created by US pharmaceutical agencies for people whos seratonin levels were way the fuck too high, so fucking high, in fact, that they needed a morbid dose of blue collar faggotry to level them out. Obviously, this could only be conjured up by people from piece-of-shit white trash communities and states that nobody gives a shit about, specifically Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi(Niggers Not Welcome), and Nebraska.
[edit] Cunts
When a person has the dip-shit desire to produce ear-shattering vibrations of noise pollution that can only be appreciated by back woods hillbillies, nigger beaters, fag lynchers, and hippie trash with distorted views of the world, this person is known as a cunt. It is believed that the spelling of this particular use of the word cunt, was derived from the ancient white trash word count,pronounced the same way, which could provide a logical explanation for the high number of the other kind of cunts(see cunts) being from the country. These people can be identified by opening their mouth or saying something totally goddamn ridiculous.
Common characteristics of cuntry cunts include
- referring to slut infested cesspools in the middle of nowhere as "honky tonks"
- getting trashed and riding a mechanical bull to try and forget about the toothless bitch who broke your achy brakey heart.
- chanting mindblowingly dumbass requests to a live band such as "Play some Hank Jr!"
- ability to glorify being a right wing wacko while simultaneously reflecting that America is a nation of totally militant patriotic shit heads and somehow get air time on the radio in a nation that is Totally Fucked by politically correct censorship.(see Toby Keith)
- Hypocritically begging my pardon when you did, CLEARLY, fucking promise me a rose garden.
- Using goatse to smuggle Large barrels of moonshine out of Tennessee.
- Chronically generating music that makes people want to kill their self.
- Srsly faggotated attempts to deceive 16 year old girls into believing that things such as tractors are sexy.
[edit] Notable Cuntry Musicians
- Dolly Parton — A women who was created by God for absolute shits and giggles because he was curious what 2 size 98-Z cups would look like if they were attached to a person with an actual brain.(this was partially successful)
- Garth Brooks — Targets audiences compiled of poor white trash, rodeo cowboy wannabes, and 16 year old girls knocked up by Aryan gang members serving consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.
- Buck Owens — Was the cohost of Hee Haw, the lamest show ever run in the history of man.
- The Dixie Chicks — 3 bitches who dropped out in junior high and later admitted they were ashamed to be from the same state as George Bush. They really oughta thought about that shit before they admitted to being from Texas.
- Dixie chicks are only turned on by ass to mouth group sex.
- Toby Keith — He WILL put a boot in his ass. It's the American Way! [1]
- Johnny Cash — the token country artist that emos and indie hipster fucktards listen to. Johnny Cash is to country music as Opeth is to death metal. As the aforementioned emos and hipsters will put him on their iPods to prove that they have diverse tastes to their local rating communities.
[edit] People who DO NOT like Cuntry
- Smart Americans
- Niggers
- Residents of communities with a population higher than 162
- People smart enough not to support the troops
- People who know niggers
- Users of technology and logic
- Liberals
- Jews
- Europeans
- Chris Crocker
- Hitler
LINKS
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Country music is part of a series on Music. |
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