Etiquette

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Etiquette, one aspect of decorum, is a code that governs the expectations of social behavior, according to the contemporary conventional norm within a society, social class, or group. Usually unwritten, it may be codified in written form. Etiquette usually reflects formulas of conduct in which society or tradition have invested. An etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may grow more as a fashion, as in eighteenth century Britain where apparently pointless acts like the manner in which a tea cup was held became associated with the upper class. Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus, it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be universal. In Britain, though, the word etiquette has its roots in the eighteenth century, becoming a universal force in the nineteenth century to the extent that it has been described as the one word that aptly describes life during the reign of Queen Victoria [1].

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[edit] Norms and effects of etiquette

Etiquette codes prescribe and restrict the ways in which people interact with each other, based on respect for other people and the accepted customs of a society.

Modern etiquette codifies social interactions with others, such as:[citation needed]

  • Greeting relatives, friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect
  • Refraining from insults and prying curiosity
  • Offering hospitality to guests
  • Wearing clothing suited to the occasion
  • Contributing to conversations without dominating them
  • Offering assistance to those in need
  • Eating neatly and quietly
  • Avoiding disturbing others with unnecessary noise
  • Following established rules of an organization upon becoming a member
  • Arriving promptly when expected
  • Comforting the bereaved
  • Responding to invitations promptly
  • Accepting gifts or favors with humility and to acknowledge them promptly with thanks or refusing the gift politely (e.g. a thank-you card)

In the upper strata of Roman society, etiquette would have instructed a man to: greet friends and acquaintances with decorum, according to their rank, refrain from showing emotions in public, keep his wife(s) secluded from his clients, support his family's position with public munificence, etc. Lower strata conformed to different rules.[citation needed]

Violations of etiquette, if severe, can cause public disgrace, and in private hurt individual feelings, create misunderstandings or real grief and pain, and can even escalate into murderous rage. Many family feuds have their beginnings in trivial etiquette violations that were blown out of proportion. In the ancient Hindu epic Mahabharata, the entire world-destroying conflict between the armies of two clans begins when one ruler, Duryodhana, commits a couple of minor faux pas at his cousin's castle, and is impolitely made fun of for it. One can reasonably view etiquette as the minimal politics required to avoid major conflict in polite society, and as such, an important aspect of applied ethics.

[edit] Manners

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