Rape

• 1. You are a rapist if you get a girl drunk and have sex with her.
• 2. You are a rapist if you find a drunk girl and have sex with her.
• 3. You are a rapist if you get yourself drunk and have sex with her. Your drunkenness is no excuse.
• 4. If you are BOTH drunk you may still be a rapist.
• 5. If she’s alternating between puking her guts out and passing out in the bed then you’re a rapist.
• 6. If she’s sleeping and you have sex with her you’re a rapist.
• 7. If she’s unconscious and you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
• 8. If she’s taking sleeping pills and doesn’t wake up when you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
• 9. If she is incapacitated in any way and unable to say ‘Yes’ then you’re a rapist.
• 10. If you drug her then you’re a rapist.
• 11. If you find a drugged girl and have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
• 12. If you don’t bother to ask her permission and she says neither ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ then you could be a rapist.
• 13. You are a rapist if you ‘nag’ her for sex. Because you manage to ply an eventual ‘yes’ from a weary victim doesn’t mean it’s not rape. You are a rapist.
• 14. You are a rapist if you try to circumvent her “No” by talking her into it. She’s not playing hard to get, and, even if she IS it’s not YOUR responsibility to ‘get’ her. You’re still a rapist.
• 15. You are a rapist if you manipulate her into sex when she doesn’t otherwise want it. If you say, “If you loved me you’d do X” then you’re a rapist. If you say, “All the other kids are doing it!” then you’re a rapist.
• 16. If you threaten her, or act in a way that SHE thinks you’re threatening her then you’re a rapist. If you puff up and get loud and frustrated while trying to ‘talk’ her into sex then you’re a rapist.
• 17. You are a rapist if you don’t immediately get your hands off of her when she says ‘no’. You are a rapist if you take your hands off of her and then put them back ON her after 10 minutes and she eventually ‘gives in’ to this tactic.
• 18. You are a rapist if you won’t let her sleep peacefully without waking her every 15 minutes asking her for sex. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and YOU are a rapist.
• 19. If you’re necking with her and you’re naked and you’ve already gone down on her and she says ‘No’ to sex with you and you have sex with her anyway then you’re a rapist.
• 20. If you’re engaged in intercourse and she says ‘No’ at ANY point and you don’t immediately stop then you’re a rapist.
• 21. If she said “Yes” to sex with a condom and that condom breaks and you proceed anyway then you’re a rapist.
• 22. If she picked you up at a bar looking for sex and then decides that she doesn’t WANT sex and you continue then you’re a rapist.
• 23. If she changes her mind at ANY point for ANY reason and you don’t immediately back off or you try to talk her into it and get sex anyway then you’re a rapist.
• 24. If you don’t hit her and she says ‘No’ you’re still a rapist.
• 25. If you don’t have a knife or a gun or a garrote and she says ‘No’ then you’re still a rapist.
• 26. If you’re a friend of hers you can still be a rapist.
• 27. If you had sex with her the night before but she doesn’t want morning sex and you pressure her for it anyway then you’re a rapist.
• 28. If you’re her husband you can still be a rapist.
• 29. If it’s your wedding night and she doesn’t WANT to have sex with you and you force or coerce her anyway then you’re a rapist.
• 30. If she’s had sex with you hundreds of times before but doesn’t want to on the 101st time then you’re a rapist.
• 31. If you penetrate her anally, orally or digitally against her will then YOU my friend, are ALSO a rapist.
• 32. Women do not owe you sex.
• 33. Buying her dinner does not entitle you to sex.
• 34. If it exists there is porn of it.
• 35. Buying her clothing does not entitle you to sex.
• 36. Buying her lingerie does not entitle you to sex. It also doesn’t mean that she has any obligation to wear that lingerie around you.
• 37. Spending any amount of money on her does not, ever, entitle you to sex. (Lol, prostitutes)
• 38. Seeing her legs or cleavage does not entitle you to sex.
• 39. If she ‘turns you on’ you’re not entitled to sex.
• 40. If she has fucked every man in a 10 square mile radius and she doesn’t want to fuck you and you have sex with her anyway, then you’re a rapist.
• 41. Her clothing is not a reason for you to rape her. Her LACK of clothing is no reason to rape her. If she’s wearing a thong and pasties you STILL have no right to rape her.
• 42. If she’s a prostitute and she says “No” then you’re a rapist.
• 43. If she’s a stripper and she says “No” then you’re a rapist. Likewise, if she’s a stripper and she’s been rubbing against your dick all night long and you follow her to her car and have sex with her against her will then you are ALSO a rapist.
• 44. If you watch a woman being raped without calling the authorities then you’re as bad as a rapist and you may also be a rapist yourself.
• 45. If you don’t fight rape then you accept rape.
• 46. If you don’t believe a woman when she says she was raped then you’re encouraging rape.
• 47. If you choose to remain friends with a man who raped a woman you are encouraging rape.
• 48. If you confess to the authorities that you raped a woman it does not exonerate you. You are not suddenly a model of good behavior. (So why confess then? Think about it.)
• 49. If you ‘only’ raped one woman, you’re STILL a rapist.
• 50. You cannot tell who is a rapist by the way they look. Rapists are your friends, your brothers, your fathers and you won’t know it.
• 51. Do not get frustrated with a woman if she doesn’t trust you. SHE already knows that rapists don’t wear signs on their foreheads. Something you think is innocuous SHE may find terrifying.
• 52. If you bump into a woman and don't say "excuse me" you're a rapist.
• 53. If you think of a girl naked and she doesn't know you're still a rapist.
• 54. If you park in a parking lot a little too much to the right so it'll be really hard for someone who parks normally to get out of their car you're a rapist.
• 55. If you masturbate and your semen hits the floor and a woman walks on your carpet in the next fifty years you're a rapist.
• 56. Toilet seat up? You're a rapist.
• 164. Stay away from me, you rapist...
• 57. If you ever end up getting into a convoluted bet with a rich Arabian man whereby you must wrestle a bear to the ground in order to secure your freedom from his underground death-games tournament and you manage to survive and escape and return to bring the man to justice and his wife falls in love with your bear-wrestling bravado then you're a rapist.
• 58. If you pick a fire-type Pokemon on your first play through of any Pokemon game you're a rapist.
• 59. If you cannot rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time you're a rapist.
• 60. If you congratulate your sister on graduating college with honors by giving her a hug you're a rapist.
• 61. If you're left-handed, you're a rapist.
• 62. If you're having sex with the woman and she turns out to be a man you're a rapist.
• 63. Paddling the school canoe? You're a rapist.
• 64. If a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man, and they both decide to have a child together you're a rapist.
• 65. If you laughed when Will Smith punched the alien in Independence Day you're a rapist.
• 66. You get in one little fight and your momma got scared you're moving in with a rapist.
• 67. If you get raped but you're not a woman, you're a rapist.
• 68. If you're a jew you're a rapist. (Isn't this obvious?)
• 69. If you scrolled to this number because you associate "69" with a sexual position, then you are a rapist
• 70. Teabagging isn't rape. It's funny. If you don't think it's funny you're a rapist.
• 71. If you have a penis, you're a rapist.
• 72. If it's Tuesday, you're a rapist. Doesn't matter who the fuck you are.
• 73. If you're black you are a potential rapist, potentially armed, potentially on drugs, and should be beaten.
• 74. If you display any male traits whatsoever, you're a rapist.
• 75. If you discover that she's been taking Tylenol, you're a rapist.
• 76. If you've ever asked a buddy of your for money to buy a soda, you're a rapist.
• 77. Tom Brokaw? Rapist.
• 78. If you play D&D, Vampire: The Masquerade, Werewolf: The apocalypse, Swords & Sorcery, Call of Cthulhu, or any other roleplaying game you are a rapist.
• 79. If you've ever masturbated, then you've taken advantage of yourself and you're a rapist.
• 80. If you are reading this, you are a rapist.
• 81. If you lol'd at #81, you are a rapist.
• 82. If you wish you could rape someone, you're a rapist.
• 83. If you thought about #83, you're a rapist.
• 84. If you're STILL fucking reading this, you're a rapist.
• 85. If you wrote one of these, you're a rapist.
• 86. If you wrote #82-87 and are about to write #88, you are a rapist.
• 87. I guess that makes me a rapist. Oh, and you too.
• 88. Fucking rapist. Heil Hitler.
• 89. If you don't forward chain letters in a prompt manner, you're kind of raping the whole concept, rapist.
• 90. If you look a girl anywhere but the area just below her forehead and just above her nose, you're a rapist.
• 91. The people who say they don't lie, they lie. The people who say they don't steal, they steal. The people who say they don't cheat, they cheat. The people who say they don't rape...you get the picture. If not, then you're a rapist, too.
• 92. If you've contributed to this list, you're a rapist.
• 93. If you've ever said something that could possibly be construed as insensitive, you're just not that nice. And perhaps a rapist, silly.
• 94. If you think monogamy is masturbation, you're an assholerapist.
• 95. If you have a name, alias, or otherwise, that sounds even REMOTELY Japanese, you are a rapist.
• 96. If you use the Duke University case to respond to #46, you're a rapist.
• 97. If you're a rapist, you're a rapist. It's just common sense.
• 98. If you wrote #97, you're a rapist, because that makes too much sense, so you obviously have a penis.
• 99. If you wish there were 100 ways to be a rapist, then you're a rapist.
• 100. If there has been an episode of Law and Order: SVU made about you, then you're a rapist.
• 101. If you have ever watched an episode of Law and Order: SVU, then you're a rapist.
• 102. If you can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday, kid's birthday, or anniversary, you just might be a rapist.
• 103. If you identified #102 as a copy-and-pasted "You might be a redneck" joke, you're a rapist.
• 104. If you know how this sentence is going to end, you're a rapist.
• 105. If you're having sex with a woman and she tells you to go harder and you don't, you're a rapist.
• 106. If you say no to sex you're a rapist.
• 107. If you have touched any part of your body be it sexually or not, you're still a rapist.
• 108. If you're a Jew, you're a rapist...of white Christian civilization.
• 109. If one of your testicles are bigger than the other, you're a rapist.
• 110. If a woman strips you naked, ties you up, gags you, and proceeds to ride you until you cum, but she never says "Yes," you're a rapist.
• 111. If you remain friends with a man after learning that he has a penis, you are encouraging rape.
• 112. If you are a nigra and a white girl says you raped her despite evidence stacked so highly in your favor that it would border on a breach of everything America stands for if you were convicted, guess what? You are a rapist.
• 113. If you don't use Ys in the word wymmyns, you are encouraging rape.
• 114. If you thought any of the words in #113 were misspelled, you are a rapist.
• 115. If YOU are the drunk one and she has sex with you, you are a rapist.
• 116. If you've got more furniture on you lawn than in your house, you might be a rapist.
• 117. If you pay a woman to have sex, but don't tip, you are a rapist.
• 118. If you have sex with a woman against her will while using a gun in a back alley, and she climaxes, you are NOT a rapist, although you might be in Japan.
• 119. If you saw Black Snake Moan, you are encouraging rape.
• 120. If the scanner says his power level is over 9000, you are a-WHAT NINE-THOUSAND!?
• 121. If you think there is a spoon, then you are a rapist.
• 122. If you recognized number 121 as a "The Matrix" joke, then I'm a rapist.
• 123. If you try to point out that this is an article aimed at you, then not only are you a rapist, you're also an attention whore.
• 124. If you think Eris is hot, you are a rapist.
• 125. If you actually plan on raping Eris, you're a rapist and a sick fuck.
• 126. If you think rape is merely surprise sex, you are a rapist.
• 127. If your name is Plainsight, you are a rapist.
• 128. If you were born in the arctic from the womb of a polar bear made of the seed of no human, have never seen the face of another human being nor believe that you yourself are a human being, then you are a rapist.
• 129. If you decide to get off your ass and go to the store to buy a pack of lights, and then pay the female clerk an amount which is not exactly equal to the price of the cigs + tax WHILE also looking her in the eyes, you are definitely a rapist.
• 130. If you are accused of homophobia and do not immediately respond with an affirmation that you actually love the cock, you are a rapist.
• 131. If you do not contribute to this list, you are a rapist.
• 132. If, at any time during the life of the universe, you, at any point, existed in some form and shape on some spatial object existing within the aforementioned universe (and are also not a wymyn), you are, hands-down, a rapist.
• 133. If you herd i like mudkipz, you're a rapist
• 134. If you know how to pronounce the name 'Ayn Rand', you are encouraging rape.
• 135. If you are a woman who has forced her sexual attentions on a man, woman, boy, girl, mammal, or invertebrate, you are NOT a rapist. Vaginas entitle you to sex with anything in the known universe.
• 136. If you sit in your room and play pokemon all day and get angry when your little sister's friends touch your light sabers, you're a rapist.
• 137. If your name is Houston, then you are rapist. In fact, if you are named after any city, country, or state, you are a rapist.
• 138. If you find any humor in Chuck Norris jokes, you should be shot, stabbed, hanged, shot again, drawn quartered, laced back together, stabbed twice more, beaten with reeds, and fed to raving lunatics. Oh, and you're also a rapist
• 139. If you've read at least 100 of these, you're a rapist.
• 140. If you don't know how many of these you've actually read without having to look at the number list, you're a rapist that can't count
• 141. If she says "I give you my consent to have sex with me" and you then put your penis into her vagina, you're a rapist.
• 142. If you are Eminem, you are a rappist, which is worse than a rapist, but you are also still a rapist.
• 143. If you've ever read /b/, you are without any sense a doubt, a rapist. You're also likely a Sick fuck.
• 144. If you have ever used a position of power to demand sexual favors from women, but kept abortion legal, you are NOT a rapist.
• 145. If a waitresses huge tits made you look away from your wife for ten seconds during your anniversary dinner, you are a rapist.
• 146. If you ever ate a grape which rhymes with rape then you are truly a rapeist.
• 147. If you have ever raped a rapist, you are still a rapist.
• 148. If you spell rapist, "rapeist", then not only are you a rapist, but you failed at Hooked on Phonics and are quite possibly a Nigra.
• 149. If someone raped you and you surprise buttsecks them back, not only are you a rapist but you also will make me lol.
• 150. If you have a Gaia Online account you are a rapist.
• 151. If you touch the top of the building, you're a rapist. If you touch the ceiling you're a rapist, you touch the floor you're a rapist, too far to the right you're a rapist, too far to the left you're a rapist, you're a rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist RAPIST.
• 152. If you drink Gin with anything other than juice, you're a rapist.
• 153. If you drink Gin WITH juice, you're a rapist.
• 154. If you don't drink Gin at all, you're a rapist.
• 155. If you don't fall under the category of ANY of the previous three, you might think you are actually not a rapist, but you, in fact, are.
• 156. Therapists are rapists. It doesn't matter how 'good' of a therapist you are.
• 157. If your name is Kashif and you have red hair, you're a rapist.
• 158. If you think this is list is not lulz worthy, you're a rapist.
• 159. If you watch rape hentai, you're a rapist.
• 160. Campus counselors say that if you are a man, you are a rapist.
• 161. Now this is the story all about how my life got turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you that you're a rapist.
• 162. ?????
• 163. PROFIT!!!
• 165. If you're wondering where 164 went its too afraid to go outside because of post traumatic fear of getting raped again. BY YOU. Fucking rapist.
• 166. If you have erectile dysfunction you still may be a rapist.
• 167. If your wife has passed away and you think about any time you had with her, you are not only a rapist but you are a necrophiliac.
• 168. If your dad was a rapist and you married a woman you dated for 5 years that loves you more than anything on earth, you STILL are a rapist.
• 169. See rule 69, rapist.
• 170. If you are happy and you know it and you really wanna show it, if you're happy and you know it you're a rapist.
• 171. If you go swimming a half hour after eating, you're a rapist.
• 172. If you kick the person's seat that is sitting in front of you in a movie theater, you are a rapist.
• 173. If you laughed at any point in this list, you're a rapist.
• 174. If you have ever used the words, or any words that mean the following: breasts, vagina, or anus, you are a rapist.
• 175. When you put your hands in the air like you just don't care you are proclaiming to the world that you are a rapist. See rule 48.
• 176. If you draw a fictional character naked to please your friends who are perverts, you are a rapist. See rule 34.
• 177. If you land on free parking in monopoly, you're in a parking lot in your imagination and your imagination is full of rape. You know exactly what you do in parking lots, rapist.
• 178. If your name is Pyramid Head, you are THE rapist.
• 179. If you're holding your newborn daughter, you are a rapist.
• 180. If she asks you to spank her during sex and you do, you're a woman-beater and therefore a rapist.
• 181. If you have a large penis, you are a misogynist and a rapist, because women don't like large penises. EVER.
• 182. If you have ever spent less than three hours on foreplay, you are most definitely a rapist.
• 183. If you think that the word 'rapist' starts to look funny after the 100th time you've read it, you're a rapist.
• 184. If a woman has ever falsely accused you of rape and ruined your life in a huge media spectacle even though it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you never had any kind of sex with her, you are still a rapist. Just because you didn't doesn't mean you wouldn't, and everyone knows that all men are rapists.
• 185. If you are a man who has been raped by a woman when you were incapacitated, you are a rapist. It is your fault for having an erection.
• 186. You are a rapist.
• 187. O HAY GUYS! WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?! (see rest of list)
• 188. If this is the first time you've ever read this list, you're more rapist than n00b, but you're still a hella n00b...
• 189. If your hand is bigger than your face, you're a rapist.
• 190. Any person who can lick their elbow is a rapist.
• 191. All Nobel Prize winners are rapists like you.
• 192. If you laughed at any moment during Law & Order: SVU, you are a rapist and an episode about you will be made next year
• 193. If you CAN rub your stomach and pat your head AT THE SAME TIME, you are a rapist.
• 194. If you hang up on a telemarketer, you are a rapist. If you are a telemarketer, you are a rapist of ears. If you do not hang up on a telemarketer, you are asking for it.
• 195. If you pull a fire alarm without starting a fire, you are a rapist and a criminal.
• 196. You drink, you drive, you rape.
• 197. If this ink blot looks like rape to you, you are a rapist.
• 198. If you are suffering from loss of appetite, fatigue, headache, and fever, you are a rapist.
• 199. If you were breast fed as an infant, you are a rapist.
• 200. If you were really excited to write #200, you are a rapist.
• 201. If you find this list to be lulzy, you are a rapist. Rape is serious fucking business.
• 202. If you are Bill Clinton, you are not a rapist, because you did not have sex with that woman.
• 203. If you you are George Bush, you are a rapist of the English language and democracy. You also raped your two hot daughters.
• 204. If you tazed me bro, you are a rapist.
• 205. If you are a member of the Skull and Bones, you are a rapist.
• 206. If you listen to a record backwards and you hear "you are a rapist," you are a rapist.
• 207. If you are Clive Owen, you are a rapist.
• 208. If you have ever been on an football team, you are a rapist.
• 209. If you own, know someone who owns, or have ever come into contact with a rape clock, you are a rapist.
• 210. If you're wondering what the fuck a rape clock is, you are a rapist.
• 211. If you don't find this list to be lulzy, you're a rapist.
• 212. If you didn't think it was awesome when Danny Bonaduce pwnt Johnny Fairchild on national television, you are a rapist
• 213. If you will play Sonic in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, then you are a rapist.
• 214. If you've ever corrected this list for grammatical errors, you are not only a rapist but also anal retentive.
• 215. If you think being "anal retentive" has to do with sodomy, you're a rapist.
• 216. If you deny being a rapist, you're not only a rapist, but also a liar.
• 217. If you've ever been raped, you are a rapist.
• 218. If you watch or listen to Howard Stern, you are a rapist.
• 219. If you got an erection at any point in time while reading this list you are DEFINITELY a rapist.
• 220. If rape turns you on you are Japanese
• 221. If you know who shot Kennedy you are a rapist.
• 222. If you shot Kennedy you are a rapist.
• 223. If you ARE Kennedy you are a rapist.
• 224. If you raped someone, you're a rapist.
• 225. If you've ever made a turducken, you are a rapist.
• 226. If you, as a child, ever asked your mother why she doesn't have a peepee, you're a rapist.
• 227. If you don't know what beateggs is, you're gonna get raped.
• 228. If you enjoy anchovies you are a rapist and you have bad taste.
• 229. If you misspell "definitely," you are a rapist.
• 230. If you read numbers 221-223 and remembered where you were when Kennedy was shot, you're not only a rapist, but you're fucking old, and therefore a pedophile.
• 231. If you're a rapist, you're a rapist.
• 232. If you're annoyed with the repetition of "if you're a rapist, then you're a rapist" entries on this list, then you are a rapist.
• 233. If you have ever been raped, you are encouraging rape.
• 234. If your girlfriend is into BDSM and loves it when you tie her up, you are a rapist.
• 235. If you are into BDSM and love it when your girlfriend ties you up, you are a rapist.
• 236. If you are a virgin and have a penis, then you are a rapist. And a loser.
• 237. If you are a man who lost your penis in an accident, you are still a rapist.
• 238. If you're a transvestite, you're a rapist, and a faggot.
• 239. If you're asexual, you're a rapist.
• 240. If you divide by zero, you're a rapist. OSHI-
• 241. If you think the cake is a lie you're a rapist.
• 242. If you brb'd to make soup, you are a rapist.
• 243. Sike, you can't be a rapist. You're a d00d.
• 244. If you are gay and take advantage of a dead corpse, you're a rapist.
• 245. If you delete fucking everything, you're a rapist and probably a furfag] too.
• 246. If you say the name Candlejack, you're a ra
• 247. If you are on ED right now, you are a rapist.
• 248. If u no lyke mudkipz, you are a major rapist.
• 249. If you have AIDS, you are a rapist. Therefore, the guy that gave you those AIDS, is also a rapist, because he couldn't it in his fucking pants. RAPISTRAPISTRAPIST.
• 250. If, meanwhile reading all this list, you thought there were some entries twice or three times repeated, not only you are a rapist, but also a maniac.
• 251. If you did read this list to da end,and you didn't find it funny,you're not only a rapist but a emo,too.

http://art2.sheezyart.com/image/156/1560325.jpg

• 252. If you don't want battletoads for the wiistation 360 then your a rapist
• 253. If you have ever considered mutual masturbation, then you are a rapist.
• 254. If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, you are a rapist
• 255. Guess What? Surprise secks, rapist.
• 256. If your penis was bitten off by a rabid dog, who ran off with it, dumped it into a swimming pool and it then floated into someone's asshole, then you are a rapist
• 257. If you jump out of a plane, naked, with an erection, and the parachute doesnt open and you land prick first into someone's asshole, at 400mph, you are a rapist
• 258. If you have gender reassignment surgery and a hobo takes your severed prick out of the hospital waste bin and uses it as a dildo, in their asshole, you are a rapist.
• 289. if you spunk out of a window and it lands inside a passer by's asshole, you are a rapist
• 290. If you were actually that curious to look up rape on this site, you're a rapist therefore making me a rapist by typing these words.
• 291. If you're a chronic mastuabator who beats off without an erection and cums in less than five minutes, you're a rapist because you know how to finish fast.
• 292. If you've ever 'accidentally' put it in the wrong hole, you're a rapist
• 292. If you've ever masterbated over a pic of Abi Titmuss, Osama Bin Ladin and Hedwig ... YOU'RE A RAPIST!
• 293. If you made rule 292 and you spelled masturbated wrong and then made two 292s you are a rapist.
• 294 If you're the guy who pisses all over the floor in public restrooms you are an inconsiderate prick and are a rapist also you may be doing it for the lulz.
• 295. If you smiled at a woman who was passing by in the street you are a rapist.
• 296. If you're moot you are a rapist...of lulz
• 297. If you are a mod you are a rapist.
• 298. If you ever entered a store and didn't buy anything you are a rapist because you raped the time of the clerks.
• 299. If you though 298 was (un)funny you are a rapist.
• 300. If THIS IS SPARTAAAA, then you must be kicked down a big ass well, because you are a rapist.
• 301. If part of you laughed when they said the phrase "bring out the long nines" in Pirates of the Caribbean, you are a rapist.
• 302. If you have a female friend who revealed someone raped her in the past, she reveals so within half an hour of knowing her, and you thought it was creepy, you are a rapist. (P.S. Having a female friend also counts as rape all by itself)
• 303. If you have ever offered a woman a hotdog and she refuses, you are a rapist.
• 304. See Rule 303 but you're a double rapist if you offered it loaded with your choice of condiments.
• 305. You vandalized Wikipedia? You're a rapist.
• 306. Your edits to Wikipedia consist only of trolling and vandalism? Rapist!
• 307. You do not vandalize ED? Eliminate all previous counts of rape on Rule 305.
• 308. If you jealously guard an article on Wikipedia from all edits and are not doing it for the lulz, you are a rapist.
• 309. See rule 307, but if you're not funny, you're a rapist. (What have I done!?)
• 310. If you have ever thought of naming your MMORPG character Sir Rapesalot, you are a rapist. Double that if the game does not take place in Ye Olde England.
• 311. If you have ever independantly considered making a checklist of what makes men rapists, you are probably a rapist.
• 312. If you think seriously about rape for more than ten minutes per day, you are either a rapist or subconsciously asking for it. Otherwise, it was for the lulz.
• 313. Seeing the Yellow Sign? You're a crazy rapist.
• 314. Said anything other than "Awesome Vid, 5 Stars" to a person on Youtube? Rapist!
• 315. Ever thought up fifteen things that make you a rapist? You're a rapist.
• 316. If you have ever made a woman go into a deep sleep by daring her to chug a bottle of NyQuil and then had sex with her, you are a rapist.
• 317. If you have ever hypnotized a woman and made her do irredeemable things to your schlong, you are David Copperfield and a rapist.
• 318. If you have ever made up a bunch of facts about rapists in a desperate/ failed attempt to get some attention from anyone, you are a rapist and all around terrible person.
• 319. If you have ever ridden an atomic bomb down to it's target while waving your cowboy hat and screaming, you are a rapist.
• 320. If you had a "raging semi" by the end of this list, you are a rapist, but not much of a threat to anyone, loser.
• 321. If you trick a naked woman into running into your hard-on like a reverse jouster, then you are quite the creative rapist, but a rapist nonetheless.
• 322. If you plug in a USB device with any sort of jabbing motion, you are a rapist.
• 323. If you eat the heart of a rapist you do not gain his power or courage, you just become a cannibal rapist. But, on the plus side, you'll be the most popular guy in your cell block.
• 324. Considering BitingBeaver to be at all attractive in a physical sense means you are ignoring her accomplishments and personality and, thus, you are a rapist.
• 325. If you are a scifag you were raped violently as a child and therefore are a rapist
• 326. If you say, "oh my bad" it was still rape.
• 327. If it was "O HAY GUYS! WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!" It was definetly rape!
• 328. If your name is Tobas Fünke you're an analrapist
• 329. If you saw that episode of SNL where in the Celebrety Jeporady skit the guy pretending to be Sean Connery pronounced "therapist" as "the-rapist" & lol'd, your a rapist.
• 330. If you didn't laugh, you're an emo rapist
• 331. Etc. Etc. Etc....Rape
• 332. If your girlfriend gets drunk and passes out but she had said "Please have sex with my unconscious body. I'm your love slave." repeatedly before and after getting drunk, then carry on my wayward rapist, there will not be prison when you are done.
• 333. If sex is occuring, then rape must be occuring as well, no matter how much both parties may want it. Since women cant rape anything, we're looking at you, big boy.
• 334. If you ever saw the title "Meet the Beatles" and you switched the first letters of the first and third words around in order to "make a funny", you are a rapist...or BitingBeaver's potential rapist spawn.
• 335. If you registered just so you could edit this article, you're a rapist.
• 336. If you listened to Richard Cheese's "Rape me" and lol'd, you're a rapist. If you raped Richard Cheese after listening to it, you're not a rapist. But you're a gay.
• 337. If you have a Maplestory account or any other MMORPG account then you are a rapist!
• 338. You are a rapist because I said so.
• 339. If you use faces like o.O >.> >.< etc, you are a rapist.
• 340. If you watch anime or read manga, you are a rapist.
• 341. If you hate school, you are a rapist.
• 342. If you drink water, you are a rapist.
• 343. If you find The Aristocrats funny, you are a cock sucking motherfucking rapist.
• 344. If you have ever said the words sproing, boing, schwing, or "I Guarantee it." to any woman, you are a rapist.
• 345. If you have ever replaced some key words in a song with the word rape, or changed the lyrics just enough for it to be about rape, then your mind "Michigan steams like a young rapist's dreams."
• 346. If you've ever said "Rape: it's whats for dinner.", then you are a rapist. Bonus rape points go to you if you then added "Note: dessert is also rape."
• 347. If you post every fact about rape that pops into your head without regard for it actually being funny or not, then you are a rapist.
• 348. If you have ever been innocently walking by that playground in the public park, tripped, ripped right out of your super tight leather pants like some sort of skinny hulk, exposed yourself to everyone there by the simple fact that you could not wear underwear under the pants, figured the situation could not get any worse, decided to run screaming to the parking lot and hump the shit out of some soccor mom's SUV with the "Baby on Board" sticker, then got arrested after attempting to run and hide from the cops in the all girls school next door, then you are a rapist.
• 349. If you hope that Bitingbeaver has read this entire list and become steadily more angry at the entire world, then you are still a rapist, but one with your heart in the right place.
• 350. If you just HAD to end your unfunny rape facts on an even number like 350, then you are an obsessive compulsive rapist.
• 351. If you have a pink pomeranian, you're a rapist
• 352. If you smell your food before you eat it, your one of the lucky few we call rapists.
• 353. If you piss the in a public toilet and don't wash your hands because you think your dick is cleaner than the tap, your a rapist.
• 354. If you are born into a Jewish family, and your father was a heroin addict who sucked cock for his smack, not only are you bound to become a rapist, but are also inclined to be attracted to other male prostitutes whom initiate themselves in rape-like activities, so thus you are a rapist by the smallest margin even if you are a sperm cell within a Jewish nutsack.
• 355. If you are born into an African family you ARE a rapist. No questions asked.
• 356. If through any point outside a given line there is EXACTLY one line through it that is parallel to the former line, you're a rapist.
• 357. If you read all the way down here, Amanda, then I'm a rapist.
• 358. If you've ever met Chris Hansen, your a rapist.
• 359. If you have sex with a woman and call her name that's not even remotely close to her own, or even when talking to her, you are a rapist.
• 360. If you have yet to realize that #259-288 are missing, you are a rapist. If you realized this, but chose to do nothing about it, you are encouraging rape.
• 361. If you decide to fix the missing #259-288, you are a rapist. Likewise, if you attempt to fix this problem, and fuck it up even more, you are a rapist and doing it wrong.
• 362. If you fall asleep and wake up with your hand down your pants, you were obviously raping someone in your sleep, meaning you dream of rape, rapist.
• 363. If your name begins with any letter of the alphabet, you are a rapist.
• 364. If you should be getting ready for school right this moment, but decided to quickly type this lame fact then print it out and show it to all your lame friends, you are a rapist.
• 365. If you take her into your basement with handcuffs, you are a rapist. Unless you're female too, then that's totally fine.
• 366. If your name is Ray Toro, that means you like raping that man (woman? fuuuck) named William Beckett. William Beckett might be a rapist too for liking it.
• 367. If you ever accidentally called Mikey Way Milky Way and realize this, you are a rapist.
• 368. If you're a massive fan of Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, you're not a rapist, but you wish you were which just makes you a very sick fuck.
• 369. If you like to call the saxophone 'sax' just because it sounds close to the word 'sex', you're a rapist unless you're a band geek. No, wait... you're still a rapist, you rapist. But no one really cares since the instruments are completely sexual and are always asking for it anyway. So... then you aren't a rapist? Fuuuck...
• 370. If you have ever connected to the Internet, you are a rapist.
• 371. LOL WUT RAPIST
• 372. If you're not sure when this list is going to end, you are a rapist.
• 373. If you want this list to end, you are a rapist.
• 374. Whoever is still reading this is not only a rapist but a fag and Jew.
• 375. If you had sex with a non human being your a rapist.
• 376. If you are a guy and have ever been raped by a man and the balls touched, you're a gay rapist.
• 377. If you ever tried to rape yourself, you're a rapist.
• 378. If you're name is Ryan Ross, you are NOT a rapist because women can't be rapists.
• 379. Between the hours of 12:02am and 4:43am, you're a rapist.
• 380. If you have never watched The Lion King as a child, you're not only going to grow up to be a rapist, you'll also want to rape lions (you're such a sick fuck).
• 381. If you don't think Bob the Builder can fix it, you're a rapist.
• 382. If you have actually succeeded in raping yourself, you're a rapist.
• 383. If you think it's not possible to rape yourself, you're a close-minded rapist.
• 384. If you think it's sick to rape yourself, try it out and you'll find out it's fun, you soon-to-be rapist.
• 385. If you've noticed the ENORMOUS number of repeats cause people get sick of reading the entire list, your a rapist.
• 386. If your name is Rodrigo and your last name is Alvarez, you are a rapist.
• 387. If you exist at any point where time and space intersect, you are a male, and you were born with anything even approaching a working set of male genitals (or a flipper hand of the proper shape and size), you are a rapist and BitingBeaver fears you more than she does the thought of an indestructable robot which is made of penises, gains fuel from the tears of women, and whose sole programming directive is to rape as many women as robotly possible.
• 388. If number 385 pissed you off enough to log in and make the above fact, then you are a rapist, and one who took far too much time to think up that rape-bot.
• 389. First one to laugh is a rapist.
• 390. If you don't vote for Hillary, you're a rapist.
• 391. If you're constantly thinking of ways to slash your favorite bands, you're a rapist.
• 392. If you believe in dancing frogs, you are a rapist.
• 393. If you've ever said, "I Saporta Gabe", you're a rapist.
• 394. If you've ever attempted to film household appliance porn, you're a rapist.
• 395. If you straighten your hair, put on eyeliner frequently, wear girl pants though you're a GUY, and are supposedly dating Ashlee Simpson, YOU'RE A RAPIST.
• 396. Had sexual fantasies involving celebrities and ice cubes? RAPIST.
• 397. I'm a rapist because I was the first person to utter the phrase, "I Saporta Gabe."
• 398. RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST!
• 399. If you think Hamsters can be rapists, YOU are actually the rapist for even thinking something like that.
• 400. If you thought they was going to be some super ultra mega spectacular fabulous comment here since this list is now at the number fucking FOUR-HUNDRED, you are NOT a rapist. I mean come on, we were all thinking it.
• 401. If you have never tried to lick your elbow, you're a rapist.
• 402. If you have successfully licked your elbow and have prided yourself it that accomplishment, you are a Goddamn rapist.
• 403. If you typed the last 6 additions to this list, you are ultimately a rapist.
• 404. If you like Disney Channel better than classic Disney or even just like it, you are a whore, a failure, and the worst kind of rapist to ever inhabit the universe. Get out. JUST GET OUT YOU SICK RAPIST!
• 405. If you are over 20 and watch Cartoon Network, you are a rapist.
• 406. If BitingBeaver doesn't like you, you are a rapist.
• 407. If you're reading this, you're a rapist.
• 408. If you're not reading this, you don't care about women's rights, and you are therefore a rapist.
• 409. If you have EVER done the Moon Walk, you're a rapist.
• 410. If you own a fursuit, you're a rapist. And a faggot.
• 411. If you have tits, you are NOT a rapist. Moobs don't count.
• 412. If you are sick of reading this crap, you're a rapist.
• 413. If you're typing on this list for serious business instead of lulz or just to be funny because you just happen to be one of those few who can't take a joke, you're a rapist. OH, and an asshole. Seriously, why are you even here you unfunny asshole rapist?
• 414. If you have offered anyone to ride in your limo, you are a rapist
• 415. If you say the word "fuck" or any variations of it (e.g. "fucking, fucked, fuckles, flipping, fricking") twice in one sentence, you are a rapist.
• 416. If your name is Joe Doherty, you are a rapist.
• 417. If your penis is smaller than three inches, you are a rapist.
• 418. if you are, have ever been, seen, had sex with, spoken too or indirectly known Ryan Drake, you are a rapist.
• 419. If you stick it in her ear, not only are you a rapist but you are DOING IT WRONG!!
• 420. If you cirumvent her "No" by telling her it's opposite day and proceeding to rape her, you're still a rapist.
• 421. If you didnt take the opportunity on the previous joke to make a stoner joke, you might actually be pretty cool but still a rapist.
• 422. If she tries to get out of sex by telling you to rape her under the conditions of Rule 420, and you rape her anyway because she was telling you to, you are a dishonest rapist.
• 423. If you've ever thought to yourself "Who the great good googly fuck thinks about rape so much as to make a serious list of what makes men rapists?", you are an insensitive rapist, you rapist! (See rules 1-51 for example, rapist.)
• 424. If you've ever secretly wondered if BitingBeaver would actually get off on being raped, or at least use it to her own feminist advantage, you are a rapist.
• 425. If more than one of any of the above rules applies to you, you deserve to be sent to an electric chair, rapist.

Categories: Sex | Drama-generating techniques