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Zimbabwe
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] The Leader
Zimbabwe exists in a parallel universe to our own, where Hitler is black. And his name is Robert Mugabe, not Hitler. Unlike dear Adolf, Uncle Bob has done nothing but run his country into the ground for the past twenty seven years. Mugabe frequently gives speeches about how he does not like Tony Blair, W or Mudkips. Mugabe is a great troll and has provided ruination on his country to the point where it will be trolled to death. Some argue that Mugabe is such a huge troll because of syphilis in the brain.
[edit] IRL Trolling
Recently Mugabe IRL Trolled every opposition party in his country. Mugabe and his buddies travelled the length of Zimbabwe in their "million-dollar-moblies" (that run off the smiles of AIDS orphans) pwning every major political leader that is not Uncle Bob. The most notable troll is that of Morgan Tsvangirai who so far has been able to "NO U!" all of Mugabe's previous troll attempts. But now reports confirm that Tsvangirai has indeed been pwned in the ass by the Bob Mugabe Partyvan.
| —Mugabe, regarding the epic troll |
[edit] History
Last Thursday, the English discovered Zimbabwe, told everyone to "STFU!" and decided to call it Rhodesia. This claiming of the country to be their own was the best thing to happen to Zimbabwe and it prospered as "the breadbasket of Africa" [1], a major exporter and the inventor of the Time Cube even though the local populace benefitted little from this. Eventually the local populace were butthurt at being a successful African country and so screamed "NO U!" in a series of bloody resistance battles. The English were pwnt and now Mugabe rules his contry, driving it further and further into ruination. It will soon be worse than Ethiopia.
[edit] Economy
None. Previously Zimbabwe's pre-1980 exports were wheat, tobbacco and corn [2]; now it exports fail, AIDS and refugees into neighbouring countries by the illegal truck-load. Zimbabwe's inflation rate is also over 9000%(srsly: 165,000+%, according to BBC News last Thursday), so if you want to buy bread I hope you have a wheelbarrow handy. If you want a to do a fun economic experiment, make some batshit insane whites hand your farm over to Zimbabweans and watch it completely turn to AIDS and dust three seconds later because nigras fail at economics. Of course, liberals will accuse you of being a colonialist pig for not respecting African emotions.
[edit] Operation Murambatsvina
The Zimbabwe government recently pwned many townships in order to get rid of the country's black market for selling food-stuffs and other essentials to live.
"President Mugabe claims the campaign is meant to get rid of structures that have sprouted around urban centres and are seen as a haven for illegal traders in foreign currency and scarce food items.
[edit] Politics
There was an election in March 2008, but when independent observers said Mugabe lost, Mugabe said "Nuh-uh." After that, Mugabe refused to release the election results, called for a re-vote, then implied that the opposition leader commited treason. Mugabe has deployed his military to campaign for him in rural areas with rape and murder. China saw an opportunity to get in the news and gifted Zimbabwe 77 metric tons of small arms.
[edit] Fun Facts
- If you are white and are in Zimbabwe, you will be raped by War Veterans [3].
- If you are black and in Zimbabwe, you will be pwned by the government [4].
- Zimbabweans used electricity before they discovered that a candle is fine too.
- Zimbabwe is one of the few non-Arabic countries that would actually be improved by nuclear bombing
- It is assumed the band ZZTop lives at the uppermost region of zimbabwe after the jews got jealous of their look. bad joke? nevermiiiiiinnnd!
[edit] Links
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Zimbabwe is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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