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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| WARNING! This article contains Niggaz! |
| Offended? Possibly, you are offended by the content of this page. If so, please click here, and scroll to the bottom. |
Nigga or alternatively, Nigger is a term of endearment for the half-ape, sub-human creatures devolved from chimpanzees who eat fried chicken, watermelons and collard greens, write songs about raping white women and stealing welfare checks from invalid grandmothers so they can pretend they bought those plastic spinning hubcaps they stole from other niggers to pimp out their stolen 1974 Cadillacs. Niggers are lazy, dumb, and smelly even after taking a shower. They pretend to act civilized, but quickly give up when offended and resort to their monkey instincts by getting drunk cheap ass Malt Liquor, smoke menthol cigarettes, drugz, and throwing their own feces as their tree-dwelling monkey predecessors.
[edit] History
Niggers were invented by God after having lost badly at a poker night with Buddah, and Satan. The first niggers were created from turds taken from dingy, smelly peat bogs, to be used as slaves for the market of watermelonz, a vegetable posing as a fruit that normal white people would never eat. It is also believed that a big piece of shit, shoved up an orangutans pussy before being fucked by a skunk, evolved into the nigger and subsequently the brown color of the species because of the genetic structure of the piece of shit combined with the skunk cum in the orangutan pussy. It corrupted them, giving them unspeakable power as well as their characteristic dark color and smell. The white man recognized this threat and waged war on the niggers for over 9000 years. Utilizing its superior numbers, the white man defeated nigger-kind and stripped it of its power. After three hundred years of deserved servitude, they were freed by a coalition/conspiracy butthurt liberals (Abraham Lincoln) and accidentally freed niggers Niggers nowadays use their newfound freedom for constructive purposes such as robbing liquor stores, shooting each other with Tec-9's, raping white women, and wearing clothes that are about ten sizes too big.
[edit] The Lord Byron Version
When, long ago, the gods created Earth;
In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth.
The beasts for lesser parts were designed;
Yet were too remote from humankind.
To fill the gap, and join the rest of Man,
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan.
A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger.
[edit] And another
To any man who knows Mankind
'Tis Just, and Apt, and Fit
That Nature in her wisdom
Made Niggers the color of shit.
[edit] The Term And Its Meaning
"Nigger" was originally a positive friendly term at least 100 years ago (read Mark Twain books and E.S. Nigger Brown Stand). This old usage was mostly localized to North America as an insult to people with dark skin. This archaic usage is still used by American blacks who haven't gotten over their victim complex and by American whites (often college professors) with the baggage of liberal guilt.
"Nigger" is used to reference a piece of shit black person who spends all his/her time standing on the street corner drinking malt liquor, smoking crack, and figuring out how to kill you and take your stuff. (The more specific term "Thug" or "Gangsta" refers to a negroid who feels the need to act like a hard-ass all the time for no apparent reason.) Using this word is popular amongst white, upper-middle class youths hopelessly addicted to Myspace, many of whom have never seen or interacted with a black youth outside of a Taco Bell, Jack In The Box or Kentucky Fried Chicken drive-thru.
Sometime in the late 20th century, some niggers evolved and renamed themselves as niggas, in a vain attempt to shed their truly shitty history. It didn't work, as dumb shit niggers also started identifying themselves as Niggas. With the spelling altered to "Nigga" due to ebonics linguistic requirements, it is now considered friendly term among blacks, and a verbal request to be murdered if said by whitey and/or wetbacks.
[edit] Alternative terms
Many niggers are offended by some of the terms referring to their race (but not if they are used by a nigger). If you choose from this list, you might find one that the niggers you're talking about doesn't mind hearing: African-American, afro-American, ape, Aunt Jemima, black, blackfella, blood, bluegum, boy, breed, bro, brother, buckwheat, chimpanzee, colored person, community member, coon, cotton picker, crackhead, darky, double nigger dropout, dusky, gangbanger, ghetto rat, golliwog, gorilla-in-the-mist, 'groid, han'kerchief head, high yaller, ho, homeboy, homie, Homo Africanus, jig, jigaboo, jive talker, jungle bunny, kurojin, mallate, mammy, Miss Ann, moolie, Moor, mud person, muthafuckah, my man, nappy head, negro, nigga, nig, niggah, nigger, nig-nog, nigra, noir, n-word, parole violator, perp, person of color, porch monkey, Rasta man, soul negroid, fuckin' niggas Rastus, 'roid, Sambo, schwartze, schvoogie, sharecropper, shine, shooter, Son/Daughter of Ham, Soul Brother/Soul Sister, spade, sparkling wiggle, spearchucker, spook, suspect, Uncle Remus, Uncle Tom, unwed mother, watermelon eater, welfare recipient, wog, woolly boo, Zulu. Look HERE for many archaic terms for various shadings of the breed.
[edit] Nigger language
Niggers speak a language they call ebonics. Most Niggers were too derro to learn proper english so they are practically impossible to understand. example "hello my name is jamie" converts to "YO YO YO wazzup bitches and bitchets me names jamie c, respectaz or ill pop a cap in yo' white ass foo'!" Typical nigger's burns consist of putting random words together. Examples include "yo ol' burnt skittle lookin azz" or "poptart frostin' bald head." After the niggers burn on each other every other nigger laughs as loud as possible for 20 minutes with their hands in front of their mouths in an idiotic way and then start shooting each other over drugs.
[edit] Negro Fun Facts!
- if you are white, you owe all black people "reparations"? Now gimme dem sneaks, bitch!
- if you are a white or azn student and you score better than a fellow black student on a standardized test, it's because of 400 years of slavery keeping the black man down?
- negroes are weirdly attracted to the colour teal? Check it out: menthol cigarette packages are teal, black strippers use teal panties, and most new pro sports franchises pick teal as one of their team colors in order to attract sports-obsessed Negroes.
- niggers are related to Sparkling wiggles?
- the ACT and SAT are racist against niggers because their scores are lower than those of humans?
- Not all black people are niggers
- the reason why so much good stuff comes from China and Japan is that these countries have no niggers
PROTIP: Should you happen to purchase a nigger, please consult your Nigger manual.
[edit] Where Can I Find Niggers in the Wild?
The indigenous species of Niggers, Homo Nigereus Americanus, can be found by staking out and observing the areas around any KFC or Popeye's fried chicken stands, any burning trash can, outside the doorway of any welfare office, on the porch of any apartment or tenement building, or seen running from any mugging and/or rape victim. If you wanna see the Official 2000 U.S. Census of Niggers, look HERE.
Until Hurricane Katrina in 2006, between 75% to 95% of all North American niggers could be found in the inner regions of shitty-assed U.S. cities—in Nigger Population Centers or NPC's.
[edit] Special NPC's
[edit] New Orleans, LA/Houston, TX
Following the bathing of New Orleans, those niggers that didn't get thrown out with the bathwater were dispersed across the country much in the same way rats leave a sinking ship. The majority of them wound up in Houston, where a rather unusual event has occurred. Normally, due to an effect of the genetic aberrations introduced during the two botched breeding experiments, niggers tend to be very territorial creatures, going into a rage at the first sight of another nigger in their dumpster, or at the sound of another nigger flashing his bling bling from the window of his pimped-out ride. However, the arrival of the NOLA niggers into the Houston area has caused the local niggers to forget their territorial habits, and have actually joined together in efforts to eradicate the NOLA invaders before they have a chance to lay claim to even the most unwanted, run-down slum in south Houston. As one nigger gang leader told a local news reporter, "Dee enemy of mah enemy, he's be's mah bro, muhfuggah. Werd is bond."
[edit] Jail (38% 47% nigger infected)
In 1980, there were 143,000 niggers in prison and 463,700 black people enrolled in college. In 2000 there were 791,600 niggers in prison and 603,032 black men enrolled in college. Thousands of niggers were paroled or released from prison, but most of those were shot by cops or their fellow niggers. The rest returned to prison within six months. Slowly but surely, the niggers are finding their place, which basically be incarceration of one sort or another. About 10.4% of the entire Nigger male population in the United States aged 25 to 29 is incarcerated, by far the largest group in the black community.
[edit] Breeding Habits
As part of the efforts to keep the nigger population under control, as well as reducing the need to import watermelons from foreign sources, niggers are now required by Federal Law to breed only in Atlanta during Spring Break. Not that they pay any attention to this law any more than they do any other law.
During the official nigger mating season, the nigger performs a fantastic mating ritual to locate a victim. First, said nigger smokes a shit load of weed. Then, the nigger hides in a mud puddle - years of evolution allow the nigger to simply blend in. After spotting the perfect white woman (niggers never mate with their own kind, since all niggers secretly wish they weren't niggers), they jump out of the puddle and beat the innocent woman to the ground. After letting the woman beg to let her keep her virginity, the nigger proceeds to pound her in every possible opening, after which the nigger kills its forced mate for fear of its natural enemy, child support.
[edit] Natural Enemies
Although the nigger seems like a powerful foe, it has many natural predators. In addition to child support, one of the more visible predators who actively hunt niggers are the common rednecks. Niggers hate rednecks almost as much as rednecks hate niggers, although both have much in common. They're products of selective inbreeding, are significantly lacking in intelligence and common sense to an almost fatal level, listen to music that is offensive to the ears and damaging to the other senses, drink alcoholic concoctions that differ very little from urine, and practice poor hygene almost as an art form.
Arguably most widespread natural enemies of niggers are the common street cops or sheriffs, also known as "pigs", "blue devils", "the Man", or "the police" (po'- leece, in Ebonics). Cops are known to hunt for niggers on a continual basis not because they are racist but because 99.9 percent of crime is done by—you guessed it—niggers. To a cop, trying to bust a non-nigga for a crime like shooting at a barrel full of fish in hopes of nailing a duck. Nigger are the broad side of a barn when it comes to violating the law. However black people such as Nigras are always casualties since cops can't tell them apart from niggers.
Another natural predator is the KKK. Although most experts agree that the average Klansman is a minor genetic offshoot of a redneck, Niggers fear the KKK more mainly because they are not only capable of slaying the god of niggers, Colonel Harlan Sanders and the famous nigger Martin Luther King, they are also capable of getting away with it until they're too old to get convicted because lifers don't like raping their cellmates if they're old enough to be their grandfathers.
In a peculiar turn of nature and society, the nigga is often its own natural enemy. If a nigga is actually guilty of doing harm to other niggas, like shooting them, stealing their money, setting up crack houses in their neighborhoods, and so forth, the other niggas refuse all aid to the cops who are trying to end their oppression. This nigga "don't snitch" policy has two benficial effects: First, it lets the perp keep shootin', stealin' and dealin' crack, which pushes the nigga community ever downward into the muck. And second, the absence of nigga prosecution witnesses in court encourages the legal system to incarcerate shitloads of niggas regardless of their guilt; this has the effect of greatly reducing the number of niggas on our streets and in the breeding population. And that's a good thing.
[edit] The Nigra Civil Rights Movement
For a while, niggers were slaves because God created them as n00bs who couldn't and didn't read the fucking manual and failed to tech up. They later corrected this, but still remain behind in the tech race.
Despite their being freed by whitey, there was racism. Niggers do nothing and rely on their intelectual brothers the Nigra to protest for rights while they exploit the rights gained. For instance there were pools that nigras weren't allowed in. First nigras tried passive non-violence, but they were just thrown out of the pool by racist mods who falsely accused them of blocking. So nigras like Malcolm X organized nigras into groups like The Black Panthers and then they went and blocked the pool. This worked better, but still racist mods kept throwing them out and banning them. Finally, nigras got together in mass, called for b/lackup, and did a million man march. After satellite imagery proved there were only 720,410 nigras who participated in the march, Congress passed a law punishing the nigger for their being uppity by banning them from all Denny's restaurants in the US.
Niggers were lynched in the 1800's and early 1900s because they are well hung. Today they are still lynched, but only on special occasions such as Rodney King's Birthday or a Fat Albert marathon on BET. Instead of being grateful, they still want moar.
Niggers also have contributed to culture. While whites found (because only blacks can steal) jazz and rock & roll, niggers invented a type of music that contributed to American culture: the synthetic drumming. Not a drum sound, but a drumming, with all the unwanted crap like vocals and melody removed, just boom-boom-boom that is played very loudly from car stereos and in coondos. Note that niggers also have a natural instinct that allows them to play bass guitar at the expert level by the time they are old enough to try out for the latest version of Boyz 2 Men or any other synthetic nigger boy band.
An important part of the Civil Rights movement was the NAACP, an organization famously started by Nigras people to separate them from niggers. Then taken over by the niggers. When the niggers took over they meaning of "NAACP," forged during the civil rights struggles of the 1950s and 1960s, was "Niggers Ain't Acting like Colored People." There was too many lulz in it, so Sambo changed it.
[edit] Black History Mumf
In 1976, a bunch of niggaz decided to set aside a mumf (month, in Standard English) to demonstrate to the world that Africans and peoples of African descent had contributed to the advance of history. Knowing that there actually were no such contributions, and that nobody would be interested if there were, the niggas chose February, the shortest, coldest, and most miserable month of the year.
[edit] Niggers ban niggers
On July 9th, 2007, a bunch of niggers at NAACP thought that if they symbolically buried the word nigger, people would stop using it. As soon as this was broadcasted, everyone in the world cried out "NIGGER!", proving that even stupid shit like this will not ban a word. Sorry niggers, you'll never win. Niggers try to ban their own name because they crash into each other and output poop to pull off a poop orgy.
By July 10th, the famous n-word done return from the dead, an fasten itsef onto peeps lak Jesse, Sharpton, Michael Vick, Halle, an so forf. Dat muthafucka sho be hard to kill!
[edit] Surviving a Nigger Attack
A nigger will attack a man if they are startled, need money, or if direct eye contact is made. The best way to avoid danger is to avoid the nigger or by playing fetch with them using fried chickens.
As you walk or travel through nigger territory, and if you can not see more then 50 to 100 feet in front of you, call out every few minutes until you enter a clear area. Some people call out, others sing, some wear nigger-bells. The point being is to make a lot of noise. In most cases the nigger will run away in a state of confusion.
If you see a nigger, talk to the nigger; study and utilize the standard Nigger Apology. If this is ineffective and he begins speaking in retarded, low-pitched ebonics, talk to him in soothing tones about things he is familiar with, such as muh dick, rap music and bling. Don't talk too soothingly, or he may thing you are trying to be all gay on him. Niggers are known for being very sensitive about their supposed "manhood". Make sure he sees you. Hold you arms high above your head. this will make you look like a much bigger to him. Continue to talk and slowly back away. If you run he will chase you. Niggers can run and jump extremely fast.
Whatever you do, DON'T climb a tree. Niggers have had plenty of practice at this sort of thing, as their tree-climbing instincts are still present from evolution from Africans.
If all of this phails and you are in the uncomfortable situation of being cornered by a pack of wild, screaming niggers, all you have to do is go for the pack leader. You can’t miss it, it’s the blackest of all of them and the one who’s doing all the screaming. Don’t feel bad about overpowering it even when it is already on the floor, niggers have no honor and they would collectively pound your ass mercilessly if given the chance. Kick the pack leader until it is dead on the floor or submissive enough to grease your balls. Remember, there’s nothing niggers admire more than tough machos. When this happens the other niggers will either fall on their knees ready to suck your cock or run all the way back to Harlem.
[edit] Historical Niggaz
- Jim Crow
- Marcus Garvey (God bless him. He wanted to send 'em all back to Africa.)
- Chicken George
- Alex Haley
- Kunta Kinte
- Haile Selassie
- Sojurner Troof
[edit] Political and Legal Niggaz
- Kofi Annan
- Marion Barry
- Tawana "Bag Lady" Brawley
- Johnny Cochran
- Idi Amin Dada
- Jesse Jackson
- Adam Clayton Powell Jr.
- Condoleeza Rice
- Rev. "Fat" Al Sharpton
- Maxine "Chimpanzee" Waters
- Any nigga talkin' to cops or testifyin' in court
[edit] Musical Niggaz
- Bomani Armah
- Rick James, Beeyotch!
- Issac Hayes
Michael Jackson- Leadbelly
- Bob Marley
- Charles Mingus
- The nigga midget still known as Prince Rogers Nelson
- Muddy Waters
[edit] Non-Musical Niggaz (Rappaz, Drug Thugz, and Hip-Hoppin' Bitches and Ho's)
- Tupac Shakur
- Biggie Smalls (AKA "Obnoxious N.I.G")
- Snoop Niggy Dogg
- Akon
- Eminem
- Pretty Ricky
- Aalyah
- R. Kelly
- $.50
- Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Punk Nigga
- Missy Elliot
- Li'l Jon
- Montel Jordan
- Yo Greasy Granny
[edit] TV & Movie Niggaz
- King Kong
- Wesley Snipes
- Billy Dee Williams
- Dave Chappelle
- Bill Cosby
- Redd Foxx
- Eddie Murphy
- Richard Pryor
[edit] Sports Niggaz
- Barry Bonds (one of 17 U.S. negroes who knows his father)
- Bobby Bonds (one of 17 U.S. negroes who didn't have to pay child support for his son)
- Kobe Bryant
- Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain
- George Foreman
- Magic Johnson
- Michael Vick
- Deacon Jones
- "Pac-man" Jones
- Terrell "T.O." Owens
- Orenthal Julius "OJ" Simpson
- Mike Tyson
- Michael Vick — The Dog-Killing Dick
[edit] Imaginary But Influential and/or Inspirational Niggaz
- Martha Jones (a.k.a. Not Rose Tyler)
- Uncle Remus
- Clayton Bigsby
- Buckwheat
- Li'l Black Sambo
- The Nine Little Niggers
- The Nigger of the Narcissus
- Prissy ("I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' babies.")
- Inky
- Ebony White
- Jimmy "JJ" Walker
- Mr. T.
- Supernigger
- John Henry "Steel" Irons (The other Supernigger)
- Token Black
- Lt. Nyota Uhura
- Jordy (Niggervision)
- Cdr. Benjamin Sisco
- Beulah
- Bix nood
- Fat Albert
- The honest, sober, hardworking black guy who doesn't steal, doesn't cheat on his wife, and loves his kids
[edit] Imaginary Niggaz on Food Containers
- Rastus, the Cream of Wheat Nigger
- Uncle Ben
- Aunt Jemima (now known as Phyllicia Rashad-Jemima)
[edit] Inta'net Niggas
[edit] Videos
[edit] Got Any Footage Of A Nigger In Its Natural Environment?
Here's two clips from YouTube, that Animal Planet doesnt dare to show:
He's black, y'all.
[edit] Made For T.V. Version
The made for tv version that was aired on KPBS's "Ronny Reagan's House"
[edit] Dancing To Jamacian Music Only Bix Nood Would Understand
[edit] Nigger Anatomy
[edit] A Visual Guide to Niggas
 Fun Nigger Fact #7 |
 Fun Nigger Fact #9. Her ass is the same color as her poop. MY MILKESHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD |
 Fun Nigger Fact #35 |
Around blacks, never relax! |
 Niggers vs. Steamroller |
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 And nothing of value was lost. |
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 Cocaine-crazed negroes of 1904 (and 2007) |
 When the Niggers take over America |
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 YUMMY |
 You gotta admit... |
 No cannibalism yet, but the rest came true pretty much as advertised |
 They don't make cartoons like this anymore. |
 From the "Black Panther Coloring Book": "The Black Panther thinks and loves black people." |
[edit] Ooo Lawdy, I gots me uh Galleree
 Important contribution from niggers to society. |
 A message from your local Coon |
 Tarbaby |
 This Nigga Be Trippin'!! |
 Ving Rhames knows racism |
 Dogs can also be niggers. |
 Nigga Milk |
 Niggers must steal at least one bike a day to stay alive. |
 NIGGER!!!1 |
 A delicate period piece showing the touching inner soul of an African American |
 How niggers use computers. |
 got guts? |
 A religious nigra |
 Niggers can express happiness and satisfaction in a variety of ways. |
 Ferreado. |
 Don't know nothin'. |
 Why are there a lot of single black women having kids? Mystery solved! |
 OH LAWD I'M GONNA PORK ME SOME WHITE WIMMINZ. |
 Some niggers are self-hating. |
 Can a nigga get a job? |
 What else would a nigga pull out of his fridge? |
 Stereotypes aren't always correct...wait... |
 On average, niggers think about chicken every 7 seconds. |
 Cereal aimed at the urban demographic. |
 Niggers have boom cars before they can even drive. |
 Fried chickenz iz gewd. |
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 Silly pope, niggers have no soul. |
 Did you mean... |
 a niggaz reaction when they dont have fried chicken for more than 5 seconds |
 A nigga's greatest fantasy. |
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[edit] Frequently Asked Questions About Black Folks
Humans are genuinely curious about their close relatives the Niggas (but not that close, Nigga—keep your fucking distance!). Nigga and related terms consistently rank among the most frequently searched topics on Google, Ax.com and other search engines. Many universities have entire departments devoted to the study of Niggers and their ways, typically staffed with Niggas and a few white keepers/overseers. CLICK HERE to see a compilation of some of the most frequently axed questions about these fascinating near-primates.
[edit] See also
- Famous Niggers
- Nigga FAQs
- Nigger pig
- Jena Six
- Happy Negro
- Black chicks
- Black People Love Us!
- Jay Bundy
- Jenkem
- Niggardly
- Nigga Know Technology -- niggas also know how to write boring blogs
- Nigger Manual
- NO NIGGERS
- P.A. Palace
- Rykoshet - Gun-arm wielding nigger
- Slavery
- The Great Black Dick Hoax
- Chocolate rain
- Bomani Armah
- Wrong Location Nigger
- Ireland
- Chink aka. yellow niggers
