Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution^[1]. This definition, however, is subject to much philosophical critique. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, it may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.^[1]

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. However, throughout the ages, philosophers have studied forgiveness apart from religion. In addition, as in other areas of human inquiry, science is beginning to question religious concepts of forgiveness. Psychology, sociology and medicine are among the scientific disciplines researching forgiveness or aspects of forgiveness. Instances of teachings on forgiveness such as the parable of the Prodigal Son^[2] and Mahatma Gandhi's forgiveness of his assassin as he lay dying, are well known instances of such teachings and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness between one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and/or divine forgiveness.

Contents 1 Religious and spiritual views on forgiveness 1.1 Buddhism 1.2 Christianity 1.3 Hinduism 1.4 Islam 1.5 Judaism 1.6 Jainism 2 Popular recognition of forgiveness 3 Forgiveness as a foundation for authoritarian control 4 Psychological theories about forgiveness 5 Health aspects of forgiveness 6 See also 7 Notes 8 References 9 External links

[edit] Religious and spiritual views on forgiveness

[edit] Buddhism

In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one’s mental well-being.^[3] Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our mind karma. Instead, Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts that leave a wholesome effect. "In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing metta and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all.^[4] When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality. Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions.^[5] "If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers."^[6]

Buddhism places much emphasis on the concepts of Mettā (loving kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkhā (equanimity), as a means to avoiding resentments in the first place. These reflections are used to understand the context of suffering in the world, both our own and the suffering of others. In response to 9/11, Ajahn Jayasaro, a Buddhist monk, reminded his students, "When we give serious consideration to our companionship in birth, old age, sickness, and death with all other beings in the world, it gives us a fresh perspective..."

Quotes (more quotes here)

‘He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’

— in those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease.

‘He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’

— In those who do not harbor such thoughts hatred will cease.

(Dhammapada 1.3-4; trans. Radhakrishnan)

[edit] Christianity

The Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christian Churches teach that God's forgiveness is received through personal repentance in conjunction with the ministry of the Church, that is, the Body of Christ. In these churches, and in some Anglican communities it is customary to make formal confession of sins individually in the presence of a priest, and to obtain absolution as a formal expression by the church of God's forgiveness.

Most Protestant denominations teach that a believer receives forgiveness more directly through a sincere expression of repentance to God, and that the believer completes this in the act of forgiving others. Then confession and prayer by the forgiven is about healing(James 5:16). Protestant denominations generally place more emphasis on the need for private or informal repentance, and less emphasis on the need for formal or public repentance. This is supported by the direction to confess to God, since he is the only one who can forgive sins. However, even Catholics and Orthodox Christians cite scriptural support for a mediated confession through Jesus conferring upon the apostles: "whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained." Hence, the distinction that only God can forgive sins is cited by Catholics and Protestants alike.

It is taught by most denominations that the substitutionary sacrifice of Jesus via the crucifixion is the vehicle through which God forgives the believer of his or her sins. The sacrament of communion is regarded as central to the reception of divine forgiveness in some Christian denominations.

Narrative Christian Theology understands forgiveness, not as a rule or spiritual duty, but as a form by which the people of God embody their mission to live as a people who are reconciled to God. Since the Church's very existence is formed by God's forgiveness it operates as a people of forgiveness, forgiven and forgiving, inextricably tied to peacemaking and justice. Philip D. Kenneson, associate professor of theology and philosophy at Milligan College, writes in his book Life On The Vine, "God's intent was not that this one divine act of forgiveness [in Jesus Christ] would itself magically transform the creation into God's intended paradise. Rather, this supreme act of forgiveness in Christ is the very large rock dropped into the middle of a pond. ... [I]f I refuse such forgiveness [for others] in the name of justice, is it possible that my view of justice falls short of God's view, where justice, shalom, wholeness and salvation are not opposing goals, but different names for God's singular desire?"

When Christian forgiveness is discussed, it is primarily within the context of God forgiving man. In his book Balancing the Scales of Justice with Forgiveness and Repentance, ex-lay prison minister Randall J. Cecrle makes the point that both forgiveness and repentance focus on the satisfaction of justice, each one side of the two-sided scales that addresses the human need to have justice satisfied. He writes that the means for humans to forgive other humans is the same means as God’s forgiveness of mankind, the substitutionary death of Jesus. When God through the Apostle Paul said “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13), he was giving clear instructions on how to forgive. The author goes on to say “Forgive as God forgave you. Forgive in the same way, using the same means and power that God used to forgive you and me. And God forgave you and me how? He forgave by accepting the blood of Jesus (death at the hands of the executioner) as the substitutionary satisfaction of His justice. To forgive those who have caused us harm, have injured us, caused us loss, we are likewise to: Accept Jesus’ Death as the Satisfaction of Justice!”

Key Biblical texts on the subject of forgiveness include (here quoted from the New International Version):

• The Lord's Prayer - "Forgive us our [debts], as we forgive our [debtors]" (some versions have sin instead of debts, the Anglican Book of Common Prayer uses trespasses instead of debts)
• "Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times (or seventy times seven).'" (Matthew 18:21-22)

This introduces the most relevant parable, that of the Unmerciful Servant, which concludes: "In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:34-35)

• "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." (Mark 11:25)

This can be taken to imply that the exercise of forgiveness is part of that repentance through which the believer has access to the forgiveness of God.

• "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34. Uttered by Jesus Christ as he was put to death.
• "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

For some of the principal Christian teachings regarding the forgiveness of sins by God, see Atonement.

[edit] Hinduism

The concept of performing atonement from one's wrongdoing (Prayaschitta — Sanskrit: Penance), and asking for forgiveness is very much a part of the practice of Hinduism. Prayashitta is related to the law of Karma. Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. The effects of those deeds and these deeds actively create present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain in others.

Forgiveness is a great power

Addressing Dhritarashtra, Vidura said: "There is one only defect in forgiving persons, and not another; that defect is that people take a forgiving person to be weak. That defect, however, should not be taken into consideration, for forgiveness is a great power. Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong. Forgiveness subdues (all) in this world; what is there that forgiveness cannot achieve? What can a wicked person do unto him who carries the sabre of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grassless ground is extinguished of itself. And unforgiving individual defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge is one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness." (From the Mahabharata, Udyoga Parva Section XXXIII, Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli).^[7]

An even more authoritative statement about forgiveness is espoused by Krishna, who is considered to be an incarnation (avatar) of Vishnu by Hindus. Krishna said in the Gita that forgiveness is one of the characteristics of one born for a divine state. It is noteworthy that he distinguishes those good traits from those he considered to be demoniac, such as pride, self-conceit and anger (Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 16, verse 3).

Huston Smith in his book The World's Religions^[8] says

"Enter Hinduism’s myths, her magnificent symbols, her several hundred images of God, her rituals that keep turning night and day like never ending prayer wheels. It is obtuse to confuse Hinduism’s images with idolatry, and their multiplicity with polytheism. They are 'runways' from which the sense-laden human spirit can rise for its "flight of the alone to the Alone".

Even village priest will frequently open their temple ceremonies with the following beloved invocation:

O Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations:

Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;

Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;

Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations,

Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations.

[edit] Islam

Islam teaches that God (Allah in Arabic) is 'the most forgiving', and is the original source of all forgiveness. Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Depending on the type of wrong committed, forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from one's fellow man whom received the wrong. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven.^[9]

The central and most sacred book of Islam: the Qur'an, teaches that there is only one error that Allah cannot forgive, the error of ascribing partners (or equals) to Allah. Islam ranks this error as a denial of monotheism, and therefore of the supreme nature of Allah himself (shirk).

God does not forgive idol worship (if maintained until death), and He forgives lesser offenses for whomever He wills. Anyone who idolizes any idol beside God has strayed far astray. (Qur'an 4:116)

But if he returns to God and pleads sincerely for forgiveness and abandons worshiping other than the one and only God, He will be forgiven.

The Qur'an does on occasion make allowances for violent behavior on the part of Muslim believers,^[10] and such allowances have been construed by some observers as condoning unforgiving behavior. Still such allowances are only made within the Qur'an in the case of defending one's religion, one's life or one's property. Outside of this, the Qu'ran makes no allowances for violent behavior. From time to time certain Muslims have interpreted such Qur'anic allowances for "defensive violence" to include what other Muslims have viewed more as unwarranted and overly aggressive violence. This interpretative debate about when to forgive and when to aggressively attack or defend continues to this day within the Muslim community.

Whenever possible, the Qur'an makes it clear that it is better to forgive another than to attack another. The Qur'an describes the believers (Muslims) as those who, avoid gross sins and vice, and when angered they forgive. (Qur'an 42:37) and says that Although the just requital for an injustice is an equivalent retribution, those who pardon and maintain righteousness are rewarded by GOD. He does not love the unjust. (Qur'an 42:40).

To receive forgiveness from God there are three requirements:

1. Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God.
2. Making a commitment not to repeat the offense.
3. Asking for forgiveness from God.

If the offense was committed against another human being, or against society, a fourth condition is added:

1. Recognizing the offense before those against whom offense was committed and before God.
2. Committing oneself not to repeat the offense.
3. Doing whatever needs to be done to rectify the offense (within reason) and asking pardon of the offended party.
4. Asking God for forgiveness.

There are no particular words to say for asking forgiveness. However, Muslims are taught many phrases and words to keep repeating daily asking God's forgiveness. For example:

• Astaghfiru-Allah, "I ask forgiveness from Allah"
• Subhanaka-Allah humma wa bi hamdika wa ash-hadu al la Ilaha illa Anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, "Glory be to You, Allah, and with You Praise (thanks) and I bear witness that there is no deity but You, I ask Your forgiveness and I return to You (in obedience)".

Islamic teaching presents the prophet Muhammad as an example of someone who would forgive others for their ignorance, even those who might have once considered themselves to be his enemies. One example of Muhammad's practice of forgiveness can be found in the Hadith, the body of early Islamic literature about the life of Muhammad. This account is as follows:
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta'if, because what they did was out of their ignorance.^[11]

Quotes (more quotes here)

• "Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness." Qur'an 7:199-200

• "But if you endure patiently (and do not punish), indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently." Qur'an 16:126-127

• "But withal, if one is patient in adversity and forgives — this, behold, is indeed something to set one's heart upon." Qur'an 42:43

• "Let them (the worthy) forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." Qur'an 24:22

• "There is no compulsion in religion." Qur'an 2:256 (And thus, it can be reasoned, no need to hold grievances or unforgiveness, believing these to be amongst one's religious obligations.)

[edit] Judaism

In Judaism, if a person harms one, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is religiously required to grant forgiveness:

• "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)

But if the wrongdoer does not apologize, there is no religious obligation to grant forgiveness.^[12] This is because Judaism is focused on the personal responsibility of the wrongdoer. It is the wrongdoer's responsibility to recognize their wrongdoing and to seek forgiveness from those who have been harmed.

Additionally, in Judaism, one must go to those he has harmed in order to be entitled to forgiveness.^[13] This means that, unlike in Christianity, in Judaism a person cannot obtain forgiveness from God for wrongs the person has done to other people. A person can only obtain forgiveness from God for wrongs done to God. For instance, should person A assault person B, person A would have to obtain forgiveness from both person B (for the assault) and God (for breaking God's law against assault). This is similar to how the criminal justice system in many countries works; in America, for example, an assault is considered both an offense against the government (leading to criminal prosecution) and an offense against the individual (leading to possible tort damages claims). Sir Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth summed this concept up as follows: "it is not that God forgives, while human beings do not. To the contrary, we believe that just as only God can forgive sins against God, so only human beings can forgive sins against human beings."^[14]

A Jew may, however, forgive if they choose even if the offender has not apologized:

• If one who has been wronged by another does not wish to rebuke or speak to the offender — because the offender is simple or confused — then if he sincerely forgives him, neither bearing him ill-will nor administering a reprimand, he acts according to the standard of the pious. (Deot 6:9)

Jews observe a Day of Atonement Yom Kippur on the day before God makes decisions regarding what will happen during the coming year.^[13] Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the prior year (if they have not already done so).^[13] During Yom Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray for God's forgiveness for the transgressions they have made against God in the prior year.^[13] Sincere repentance is required, and once again, God can only forgive one for the sins one has committed against God; this is why it is necessary for Jews also to seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.^[13]

Heinrich Heine, a famous Jewish writer, used to say: "Dieu me pardonnera; c'est son metier." (God will forgive me; that's his job.) This is of course connected with the famous saying: "Tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner." (To understand everything is to forgive everything.) God understands everyone and everything. Therefore, he forgives everything and everyone.

[edit] Jainism

This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards. Please improve this article if you can. (March 2008)

Jainism is about total equivalency. One do not hate or love in this religion. So there were times far back when the great Thirthankars were in deep meditation, and others would harm them, they would be so deep in meditation that they would not be hurt. So when the thirthanker opened his eyes, he noticed the wounds and forgave them all. Therefore, all Jains are supposed to be able to forgive anyone, no matter what happened.^{[citation needed]}

What is written above is woefully inadequate given that Jains practice forgivenss as a central tenet of their spiritual and community life. Nancy Emerson Lombardo, Ph.D. See below for other information easily found on the internet.

Jainism: Forgiveness Is A Virtue

Jains feel that the values like love, joy and peace can be achieved only through caring for others, understanding the pain of others and reaching out to other human beings. Anger, confusion, egoism and intolerance cause harm to one's self and to the 'other'. But the negative energies suffocate, choke, distress and disturb. Love should not be in the form of words alone. It should reach out to people who need peace, mercy, joy, comfort, sympathy, food, clothing and medicines. This is love in its active, not passive manifestation, but true love is forgiveness for self sake. http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Jainism/id/9345

Excerpts from Alan Hunter description of Jainism: http://www.corporate.coventry.ac.uk/content/1/c6/01/38/99/jainism.doc

The Jain faith is relatively small in terms of numbers. Yet it has made a disproportionate contribution to the practice of forgiveness and peace. Of all major world faiths, it is perhaps the most consistent in rejecting all forms of violence; and in promoting peaceful inter-personal relationships based on co-operation and forgiveness. Jainism may seem an abstract, unrealistic philosophy, but in fact it was a major source of inspiration for one of the great politicians of the twentieth century, Mohandas Gandhi. Gandhi was brought up as a Vaishnavite Hindu, but in a part of Gujarat where Jainism was strong. He liked to frequent Jain teachers and temples. In the 1890s he came to know one of the great Jain saints of modern India, Shrimad Rajchandra. Rajchandra settled many of Gandhi’s spiritual doubts and was a significant personal inspiration for him: local people referred to Rajchandra as “Gandhi’s Guru”. So the ancient Jain ideals were transmitted to modern politics in India and beyond.

Teaching on forgiveness Why forgive?

Jainism does stress the importance of forgiveness for community well-being. However, following the trend of Indian thought, most teachers would probably stress the importance of forgiveness from the perspective of the “forgiver”. The following is an edited extract from a discourse by a contemporary Jain teacher:

The first line in our Kshamapna Sutra [see final section of this article] states: “I grant forgiveness to all living beings”. This powerful philosophy, somehow, got diluted in our practice. In my opinion, it is more important to forgive than to ask for forgiveness. We need to forgive others, not because they need our forgiveness. It is because we need to release ourselves from the rage, hostility and resentment we carry within us when we don’t forgive. I have often heard people say, “I have no problem forgiving. If he/she asks, I will forgive him/her.” This is not true forgiveness. It just feeds our own ego and does more harm than good. Forgiveness is not a sense of false humility that makes us better than somebody else. It is an attitude that sets us free, so that we are not continually re-victimized by our wounds. The other excuse people use for not being willing to forgive someone is “If I forgive so easily, he/she will continue doing the same thing and will never learn a lesson”. Well, there is a penalty for not granting forgiveness. The penalty we experience is the hurt that remains trapped within us, which rots a portion of our body, mind and soul daily. In order to heal ourselves of the wounds inflicted upon us we must be willing to forgive those who hurt us, totally and unconditionally. It does not mean that we must go and tell them that they are forgiven. It doesn’t mean, if we are the offending party, we must go to the other and beg for their forgiveness. Realization of our mistake and true repentance (Prayaschitta) can in itself set new direction for our life. Forgiveness not only makes us whole once again, it energizes us and makes our world more beautiful that ever. In my case, I have always been hurt a lot easier than I used to admit to and in the past, instead of healing my hurt, I would deny it. I believed I should not be hurt so easily. The problem with this denial is that it created secret resentments and I experienced depression so deep within me that it almost incapacitated me. Learning to forgive has made all the difference. As someone once said, “Forgiveness isn’t about letting him or her off the hook… it’s about taking the knife out of your soul”. When it comes to forgiveness, it is far better to have a small amount of the real thing than massive quantities of the fake stuff."

The forgiveness festival

Jainism is perhaps unique among world faiths in having a festival, the Paryushana, in which “forgiveness” is the central component. It is in fact the most important event in the Jain calendar, and falls in August or September every year. The festival itself last for a week or ten days. August and September are the main monsoon months in western India. Monsoon was an important period for all Indian religious traditions, because monks and wandering teachers would tend to settle in one place for two or three months. For example, it is thought that the great discourses of the Buddha were mainly given at this period, following which the monks would disperse to their itinerant life. Naturally it is convenient to be out of the rains; typically, however, for Jains there is a deeper reason. Insects and other life-forms abound during the rainy season, and one is more likely to cause them accidental damage while walking around at this time of year. Monks therefore prefer to be as sedentary as possible. As well as monks, householders celebrate the festival as a time for spiritual reflection and regeneration.

In some ways, the festival resembles those of other Indian traditions. Jain families visit temples to listen to discourses and readings; and they engage in fasting and penance. The evening is often devoted to meditation, specifically the practice of pratikraman, a reflection on their spiritual life which includes introspection, prayers, detachment from the body, and resolutions for the coming year.

Paryushana is marked by strict observance of the ten cardinal virtues, of which forgiveness is conventionally listed first: forgiveness, charity, simplicity, contentment, truthfulness, self-restraint, fasting, detachment, humility, and continence. Specifically to Jainism there is a unique custom, in which every Jain asks forgiveness from all individuals and from the community, for any offence they may have committed. All dissent and disagreement is supposed to be set aside, and individual and social relationships healed. They ask forgiveness by approaching the other person, joining hands and asking for "Micchamidukadam" or forgiveness. Literally, dukadam means bad deeds; and micchami means fruitless. The sense is, may any past problems between us cease here and now, with no repercussions.

Jains, whether monks, nuns, or householders, therefore, affirm prayerfully and sincerely, that their heart is filled with forgiveness for all living beings and that they have sought and received the forgiveness of all beings, that they crave the friendship of all beings, that all beings give them their friendship and that there is not the slightest feeling of alienation or enmity in their heart for anyone or anything. They also pray that forgiveness and friendliness may reign throughout the world and that all living beings may cherish each other.

The mantras of Jainism for Forgiveness

Apart from the forgiveness festival or other specific calendar events, Jains are likely to practise forgiveness as an integral part of their religious life. Again, the focus on forgiveness is explicit. For example, perhaps the most widely used Jain prayer mantras are those for forgiveness and universal friendship:

Universal Forgiveness Prayer:

Khamemi Savve Jiva, Savve Jiva Khamantu Me, Metti Me Savve Bhuyesu, Veram Majham Na Kenai.

I grant forgiveness to all living beings. May all living beings grant me forgiveness. My friendship is with all living beings. My enmity is totally nonexistent.

Universal Peace and Friendship Prayer:

Shivmastu Sarva Jagatah, Par?hit?nirata bhavantu bhutaganah, Doshah Prayantu Nasham, Sarvatra Sukhi bhavantu lokah.

May the whole Cosmos be blessed. May all beings engage in each other's well being. May all weakness, sickness and faults diminish and vanish. May everyone and everywhere be healthy, prosper, blissful, and peaceful.

JAINPUSHP .Supreme Forgiveness from Fundamental Features of Jainism http://www.jainpushp.org/forgiveness.htm

"Forgiveness is the key to happiness"

The word forgiveness ‘Kshama’ means patience, forbearance and pardon. To pardon an enemy or a friend both is the jewel of Yatis. Forbearance is the ornament of brave.

An eminent English poet writes:

O man! Forgive thy mortal foe 

Do not give him blow for blow

Forgive him seventy times and seven

For all the blessed souls in Heaven

Were both forgivers and forgiven.

Supreme Forgiveness (Uttama Kshama) is the first dharma (first virtue) out of the ten dharmas of Jains. Ordinarily it means not to cause misery to any living beings, or not to get angry on any unpleasant and unwanted happening.

Forbearance (Kshama or Forgiveness) is the inherent virtue of soul. When the soul degrades from its real attribute to ill nature, such a soul is called attached (raggi i.e. the poison of attachment) or full of malice- ill- will (dwesh i.e. taking revenge) etc., because soul is simple and forgiving by nature. Rightly it has been said:

         ‘to err is human; to forgive divine.’

There was a Saint named Aek Nath. He had a vow of bathing un the river Ganges daily. His ideology of forgiveness and renunciation was highly talked of in the city. One Pathan( Normally those belonging to Afghanistan are called Pathan) also used to live in that city. Once he thought to test the saint. His house was on that very road by which the saint used to go for bathing in the Ganga (The famous river in India). The next day when saint Aek nath was returning from after having a bath in the Ganga, the pathan, chewing a betel leaf, spat down from above his roof top. Its shower fell on the body of Aek Nath also; hence the saint went back to have a bath in Ganga again. This process was repeated a hundred times on that one day. Ultimately when the saint was returning after his one hundred and one times bath, the Pathan came down from his house top and falling down at his feet started weeping and begging pardon for his mischief and ill doing. The saint said, “I am grateful to you for your good deed, because daily I used to bathe in Ganga only once, but today I am lucky to bathe a hundred and one times due to you. Great men have great thoughts. They never give up their celestial virtues. Saint Aek Nath who belonged to this noble category, took this ill-deed of pathan as a virtuous deed and pardoned him. On this earth there no other greater virtue than forgiveness. One who is gifted with the virtue of forgiveness is crowned with all other virtues.

The great poet Reidhu has described the supreme virtue of forgiveness as below:

Supreme Forgiveness is pertinent in all the three worlds; it helps to sail across the ocean of birth and death; it enables us to be endowed with the three jewels i.e., Right Belief, Right Knowledge and Right Conduct and safeguards us from a miserable plight.

Supreme Forgiveness contributes to a horde of virtues; it is dear to the nude Jain monks, Supreme Forgiveness is like the crown jewel for the learned scholars. Only persons with stable minds can acquire the virtue of Supreme Forgiveness.

Supreme Forgiveness is held in high veneration by all the great men. Forgiveness works like a dazzling jewel to dispel the darkness of wrong belief. The faults of the helpless persons are pardoned by a forgiver and he does not get enraged with them. Freedom from the growth of evil passions in the mind is the forgiveness.

The persons who without finding fault with others bear patiently the harsh words of the rogues accepting them as the outcome of the evil actions of their previous births; who experience their own celestial virtues and are deeply engrossed in their self-realization have been termed by lord Jinendra as gifted Supreme Forgiveness.

Thus persons gifted with the Supreme Forgiveness, worshiped by the Gods (Devas) and Vidhyadhars (divine beings skilled in various arts or sciences); and the innumerable holy saints who vanquish all worldly miseries on attaining the eternal omniscience and getting rid of the blemishes of karmas have become enlightened souls (Siddhas). I bow with reverence a thousand times at the holy feet of those supreme saints who are gifted with the virtue of forgiveness.

            "Forgiveness is the key to happiness".

Therefore forgiveness is a gift we give to our self. It is not something we do for someone else. It is simple. The last day of Paryushana parva is the most auspicious day for Jains. On this day traditionally, Jains seek forgiveness from every one and more particularly from whom we have hurt in any way i.e. in thought, word, and deed by asking for forgiveness and also exchanging letters seeking forgiveness /kshama). It is believed that sincere fasting and prayer on this day can wipe out all the sins committed in our past year, and revitalize us to be more loving, compassionate and charitable in the following year. Therefore, one is duty-bound to try to befriend an angry man or an enemy with love rather than being angry on him.

The End

• Note:-The words shown in italics and green color are from Prakart/Sanskrit language.

      Sample letter exchanged among Jains asking for forgiveness                      

Celebrate Forgiveness: Kshamavani Divas by Shugan C Jain Printed in the India Times http://spirituality.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2410980.cms

Kshamavani Parva celebrates forgiveness as a way to a life of love, friendship, peace and harmony. When you forgive, you stop feeling resentful; there is no more indignation or anger against another for a perceived offence, difference or mistake; there is no clamour for punishment. It means the end of violence.

Jains classify forgiveness as: gifted by the one who forgives, earned by the one seeking it, and natural as a part of our divine nature. Forgiveness can be earned by request or prayer, pratikramana or confession and penitence, and prayascitta or willingness to suffer consequences.

Natural forgiveness, on the other hand, is automatic and effortless as it emanates from pure soul or paramatma, illustrating the dictum that to err is human, to forgive is divine.

Mahavira said we should forgive our own soul first. To forgive others is a practical application of this supreme forgiveness. It is the path of spiritual purification. Mahavira said: "The one whom you hurt or kill is you. All souls are equal and similar and have the same nature and qualities". Ahimsa Paramo Dharma. Anger begets more anger and forgiveness and love beget more forgiveness and love. Forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and the forgiven.

Jain seers advise: "It is my bad karmas yielding results now even though i have not caused harm to him. So i must perform penance. I am the doer of my karmas and the enjoyer of their results". It is the weak who give in to anger. The daily duties of all Jains include pratikramana and prayascitta. Every year, the month of Bhadra is considered holy and the last 18 days of the month are observed as either Paryusana or Das Laksan Parva.

On the last day, Kshamavani Divas, the resounding theme is: "Miccha me dukkadam" - "We ask forgiveness for any harm we may have caused you, by thought, word, or action, knowingly or unknowingly"; "Khamemi savve jiva" - "I grant forgiveness to all living beings"; "Savve jiva khamanatu me" - "May all living beings grant me forgiveness"; "Metti me savve bhuyesu" - "My friendship is with all living beings" and "Vairam majham na kenai" - "My enemy is totally non-existent".

In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful emotions from causing havoc on one's mental well-being: "In contemplating the law of karma, we realise that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practising metta or loving kindness, mudita, upekkha and karuna to avoid generating resentment, and then seek forgiveness. If we haven't forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers".

Jesus Christ, when being crucified prayed to God to forgive his tormentors as they "know not what they do". The concept of confession and seeking absolution, and ending prayers by seeking forgiveness and the Lord's blessings are applications of the principle of forgiveness.

In Islam, Allah is described as "the most forgiving". Jews observe a Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the year. Mahatma Gandhi forgave his assassin even as he was dying. His practice of non-violence and satyagraha is based on the principle of forgiveness.

Those who forgive are happier and healthier than those who are resentful, say studies. Forgiveness is part of ahimsa; it helps us overcome anger and hatred.

The writer is founder-director, International School for Jain Studies, New Delhi.

[edit] Popular recognition of forgiveness

The need to forgive is widely recognized by the public, but they are often at a loss for ways to accomplish it. For example, in a large representative sampling of American people on various religious topics in 1988, the Gallup Organization found that 94% said it was important to forgive, but 85% said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive. However, not even regular prayer was found to be effective. The Gallup poll revealed that the only thing that was effective was "meditative prayer".^[15]

[edit] Forgiveness as a foundation for authoritarian control

Yoga teachers Joel Kramer and Diana Alstead analyse the use of unconditional love and the associated concept of forgiveness as a foundation for authoritarian control.^[16] They survey religions worldwide to make their assertion that religious imperatives of forgiveness are often used to perpetrate cycles of ongoing abuse. They state that "to forgive without requiring the other to change is not only self-destructive, but ensures a dysfunctional relationship will remain so by continually rewarding mistreatment."

For instance, one Christian sect, the Anabaptists, take Christian imperatives to forgive particularly seriously, interpret them literally and apply them rigorously inside their closed churches. As such, they are a case where one can assess the effects of applying religious-based forgiveness in all situations, 'no matter what'. Not surprisingly, they have a well-deserved reputation for being gentle people but, inside their communities, rigorously obeying (Christian) religious imperatives to forgive, 'no matter what', has been reported to cause effects similar to what Kramer and Alstead theorize in their abstract analysis.[1], [2]. Kramer and Alstead also point out similar dynamics operating in Eastern 'Oneness' religions in their wide-ranging analysis of the religious roots of authoritarian control.

Kramer and Alstead assert that of faith-based ideals of forgiveness, while appearing selfless, contain implicit selfish aspects. They state that "when forgiving contains a moral component, there is moral superiority in the act itself that can allow one to feel virtuous". They ask: "As long as one is judging the other lacking, how much letting go can there be?" They note that "Where the virtue in 'moralistic foregiving' lies is also complicated by the fact that it is often unclear who benefits more from it, the one doing the forgiving or the one being forgiven." Not surprisingly, they note "that for many people, forgiving is an area of confusion intellectually."

[edit] Psychological theories about forgiveness

Only in the last few decades has forgiveness received attention from psychologists and social psychologists. Psychological papers and books on the subject did not begin to appear until the 1980’s. Prior to that time it was a practice primarily left to matters of faith. Although there is presently no consensual psychological definition of forgiveness in the research literature, a consensus has emerged that forgiveness is a process and a number of models describing the process of forgiveness have been published, including one from a radical behavioral perspective ^[17].

Dr. Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin-Madison is regarded to have placed forgiveness on the map. He founded the International Forgiveness Institute and is considered the initiator of forgiveness studies.^[18] Dr. Enright developed a 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness.^[19]

Dr. Everett Worthington, a known lecturer and author on the subject of forgiveness has developed the Pyramid Model of Forgiveness.^[20] This model involves: recall the hurt; empathize; altruistic gift of forgiveness; commit to forgive; holding onto forgiveness.^[21]

Dr. Guy Pettitt of New Zealand, provides a comprehensive set of materials on both the need and benefits of forgiveness as well as the process to accomplish forgiveness. These materials are available as a free download.^[22]

[edit] Health aspects of forgiveness

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments.^[23] One study has shown that the positive benefit of forgiveness is similar whether it was based upon religious or secular counseling as opposed to a control group that received no forgiveness counseling.^[24]

It is reckoned^[25] that forgiveness is not a necessary condition for a victim's healing, and that premature forgiveness can harm well-being. Inappropriate forgiveness, perhaps motivated by a desire to re-connect and restore a sense of community, carries the risk of encouraging a false sense of self, harming a victim's self-image and making true forgiveness harder to achieve.

[edit] See also

• A Course in Miracles
• Apology
• Clementia was the goddess of forgiveness and mercy in Roman mythology.
• Compassion
• Contrition
• Doug schmidt learning to forgive the remorseless
• Ethics in religion
• Human
• Human self-reflection
• Kindness
• Letter of Reconciliation of the Polish Bishops to the German Bishops
• Mercy
• Pardon (a concept in law)
• Unconditional love

[edit] Notes

[edit] References

[edit] External links

The external links in this article may not follow Wikipedia's content policies or guidelines. Please improve this article by removing excessive or inappropriate external links.

• "What Is Forgiveness?": an article in the TLS by Roger Scruton, December 12 2007
• Institute for Radical Forgiveness
• The Campaign for Forgiveness Research, doing research and providing education on the dynamics of forgiveness
• The Fetzer Institute, doing research and providing education on the dynamics of forgiveness
• Forgiveness web
• theforgivenessproject.com
• "Bitterness & Vengeance vs. Gratitude & Forgiveness" from Project Worldview
• A new spiritual symbol based on the hold trinity and the seven pillars of the Cross of Forgiveness
• Greater Good magazine Peace Center at berkeley.edu
• Learning To Forgive Website for Director of the Stanford Forgiveness Program and leading books on forgiveness
• Apology and Forgiveness