Coping With Stress
We all experience stress to a greater or lesser degree, but being “stressed out” doesn’t mean you have bad nerves or can’t handle the traffic of daily life. It’s simply a part of living and isn’t always a negative. Stress can be a motivator for a better performance in athletics, education or career.
But it is possible to experience “good” stress and “bad” stress. Short of living in a catatonic state, you can’t expect to experience a life of no stress.
Life will naturally throw different extremes of stressors at you. To this there are two responses. You can attempt to control or avoid the stressor itself. However, this option is often not viable when stress results from unavoidable situations, such as family conflict or hassles with your boss. In these cases, when you can’t simply walk away, you must manage your response to the stressor. As a result, a large component in managing stress is, in fact, your reaction to it, and the coping skills you have at your disposal. This explains why different people respond to exactly the same stressor in very different ways.
Although some stress can be beneficial, clinical stress is that which causes discomfort to an individual. When this form of stress hasn’t been adequately dealt with and remains unresolved, distress can result.
affects of stress
Distress affects your thinking, resulting in poor concentration or forgetfulness. It affects your emotions, causing anxiety, depression and tension. And it affects your behaviour, producing weight problems, erratic or antisocial behaviour and loss of sleep. Each of these can aggravate the condition. It can also increase risk behaviours, such as drinking or smoking and other drug abuses.
causes
There are many causes of stress. In today’s society a significant amount is caused by the hassles of daily life, such as time management, juggling work and home life and managing finances. One’s own thinking—if it’s “stinkin’ thinkin’”—can produce it. The notion, for example, that you need to be capable all the time, both at work and home, or irrational self-expectations, like thinking, “I should be able to cope with this.”
Relationships are also a cause of stress. Not just romantic relationships, but also family conflict, parenting difficulties and social pressures.
An additional source of stress is change. The normal changes that occur through a lifetime, such as a new job, shifting from study to work, moving home or getting married can cause huge amounts of stress. Change is an unavoidable part of life, but is often overlooked as a cause of stress.
identifying
While we may all experience the same stressors, the deeper root of our stress responses differ. For example, the stress of a relationship may really be rooted in the fear of long-term commitment—looking into the future and fearing what it may hold in terms of that relationship. Stress caused by work may be found in the pressure of needing to be focused and capable at all times, the stress of being responsible for others either because we expect it of ourselves or because others expect it of us.
It is, therefore, important to identify the stressor in order to deal appropriately with it. This often means stopping and taking a step back to reflect and consider what it is causing the stress. And remember, stress is accumulative. Many individual stressors can combine to produce a big stress impact.
Our body responds to the sum of all stressors encountered throughout the day or over time. It often takes only a small, usually insignificant stressor to send you over the edge into a distressed response. It is often hard to discern the pattern when you’re experiencing the result of it, but by identifying the individual stressors it’s possible to reduce the amount of stress you’re experiencing.
Understanding the cause of your stress will in itself be comforting and a step toward managing it.
cognitive–emotional
precautions
It is possible to control your response to stress through your own mental processes. Changing the way you think about a stressor by challenging your thoughts and reactions can do this. You can manage stress by confronting and resolving stress or by developing a coping mechanism so that the stressor doesn’t dominate your life. It’s important to continually refocus, concentrating on the positives in life rather than dwelling on the negatives.
Relaxation through meditation or prayer, or simply group support through a social network can help this process. Relaxing enhances self-awareness and purpose, and helps stress reduction by increasing your ability to cope.
You may now be thinking there are some things in your life you could change, but it’s important to master one change at a time, for too much change too quickly can itself cause stress.
stress and depression
Prolonged stress can lead to depression. Depression is the most common mental illness and appears to be a growing epidemic. Depression will affect 20 per cent of the population at some time, according the Mental Health Association of NSW. Depression is the primary disorder in young people today. We’re more likely to develop major depression before 19 years of age.
There are different forms of depression, ranging from mere feelings of sadness to acute clinical depression.
The symptoms of depression include apathy, feeling down; experiencing no enjoyment from life; pessimism, with everything seeming impossibly difficult; persistent tiredness; talking and thinking slowly; being unable to get out of bed; a loss of interest in sex; and a lack of internal motivation.
We all experience some degree of depression at some time, therefore most of these signs are fairly common. However, if you’re experiencing these symptoms for a considerable time and it’s causing you distress, you may be clinically depressed.
Depression is increasing, especially in young people. So, if you (or your child) are aware of these symptoms and they are affecting your wellbeing, seek a mental-health professional. For most people, improvement occurs in three to six weeks. Don’t let misconceptions about mental illness or the discouragement of depression stop you from seeking help. Note, depression is not genetic, and it isn’t something that you just have to live with. Depression isn’t your fault and it can be treated.
If you’re in need of medication, your doctor will most likely refer you to a psychiatrist. Remember, medication takes a few weeks to work, so talk to someone in the meantime. You are not abnormal, and certainly not alone.
Stress is not a death sentence, and both it and its symptoms can be treated.
stress-reduction tricks
There are general techniques that can increase your resistance to stress. By adopting a healthful lifestyle, you’ll better cope when you encounter a stressor. This includes eating a balanced diet and being physically active. Learn to take your own blood pressure, know the baselines and monitor your stress levels. Remember, stress is additive, and unhealthy habits will add to the stress load.
Fulfil your emotional needs through spending time with your family and friends. When experiencing a stressful time, it’s your friends you need the most. So socialise and invest your time in relationships. Settle conflicts; don’t brood over things; rather, resolve them.
Keep a balance between work and recreation, stress and relaxation. This is the key to good emotional and mental health.
Finally, get plenty of sleep. We all need 8-10 hours per night over an extended period to avoid persistent fatigue.
stressed at work?
Your occupation can be a major source of stress. But there are many simple ways to deal with that and cope. Here are some tips:
- Don’t take your work home with you; work overtime if necessary then leave the work at the office.
- Give yourself a full lunch-hour break away from your desk or job; take breaks during the day (and through the year).
- Discuss your feelings about work with a close person.
- Don’t place your self-worth on the task; you are not your job.
- Don’t overcommit; delegate, prioritise and limit demands on your time.
- Use relaxation techniques; even 20 minutes of your lunch hour or one minute at your desk will help to relax you and you will work more efficiently.
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Articles of interest:
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This is an extract from January February 2004
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