Stoner
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A term for a person who enjoys smoking the marijuana. The word possibly came into use during the 1960s when pot smoking skyrocketed because of hippies. It is important to remember that, despite what your grandparents might say, there is only the most tangential connection between stoners and craziness, as seen in the 1937 documentary "Reefer Madness". That is, unless lethargy can be seen as a form of criminal insanity.
Also a term for Muslims (and historically anyone else) who like to hurl stones at women as punishment for being raped.
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[edit] Stoners and the Arts
- The Matrix is by far the most popular film among stoners. Other stoner classics include Fight Club and The Lion King.
- Music-wise, stoners may enjoy electronic music like ambient, rap (especially Cypress Hill) or their very own genre; 'stoner rock'.
- Stoners have to like Pink Floyd, its in their contracts.
- Stoner artists smoke weed because it may remove the agony of creativity.
- Only a stoner can be smart or high enough to make a Gravity bong.
- Limes are for reference.
[edit] Famous Stoners
- Madlib
- Snoop Dogg
- Carl Sagan
- Paris Hilton
- J.R.R Tolkien
- James Brown
- Jimi Hendrix
- Jared Fogle
- Bob Marley
- George Washington
- Everyone in the 60's
- The lulz
- The anti-lulz
- Bill Clinton
- Arnold Schwarchenigger
- Lindsay Lohan
- Every member of the Cypress Hill
- Every member of the Kottonmouth Kings, especially the man wearing a mask
- Jack Black
- Keanu Reeves
- Jeff Daniels
- Romeo Montegue
- Josue Cruz
[edit] Random Stoner quotes
- "I'm so high that I can't peel off the silver opening on my bottle of milk I just bought."
- "What would it be like to piss in your bong then smoke out of it?"
- "Weed helps in all kinds of situations. It's the emotional and mental swiss army knife of the ages."
- "I only have like a bowl and a half left. =["
- "Cannabis is a vasodilator which lowers blood pressure and causes the heart to pump faster, but that doesn't necessarily mean it damages the heart."
- "I smoke pot but I reject the title of pothead."
- "That's a cop. That's definitely a cop. Oh fuck we're fucked we're so fucked we're.. oh wait it's a streetlight."
- "Just breathe it in and think to yourself, man... my life could not get any better than if I keep this in my lungs for ten more seconds."
- "Dude this Sprite is eating me"
- "Most of my friends are plants"
- "Wanna get the baby high?"
- "We should remake '90210'"
[edit] Crisis facing stoners today
- Never having any papers, filters or lighters, despite these items being cheaply available from any shop.
- Crappy Mexican Weed
- Getting real thirsty and 'accidently' drinking the bong water.
- A drought of marijuana due to Jews withholding stock in order to obtain more Jew-golds.
- Eye-tokes, hot-rock burns. It's an occupational hazard, bitches, stop whining about it.
- Dealer's cell phone turned off or is too high on 10 different drugs to get you your shit.
- Sneaking into garage without entire party following
- Running out of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. What the fuck mom, go to the store.
- Imaginary police
- Real police
- Going to work
[edit] See Also
Cannabis
