Apple

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Apple's claim to fame is that they invented the PC even though it was actually invented by the CTC . Apple is also known as the one company that had to be paid by Microsoft to stay in business. Led by all-star douchebag Steve Jobs, Apple is the favorite high-tech company of "artistes" everywhere. This is because people believe Apple makes awesome computers that off-set their exorbitant price by becoming obsolete only once every thursday. The truth is, they are merely victims of the Reality Distortion Field. While Apple may have done some neat things in the past, they are now just a music company.

Mac users were once the most annoying computer fans on the planet. Now they are the second most annoying, after Linux users. They are continuously bragging about how easy a one-button mouse is, how great the benefits of the "genie" effect are, and act like BSD was just invented. Unfortunately, if you want to be famous, you have to be a Mac user.

Despite all their idiotic fanboys, Apple has still done some cool things. They did create the Apple II. Also, they made the world aware of the dogcow. iMacs are also really pretty to look at, and they make 8-year-old girls want to go out and buy jelly beans.

Apple has borne an unearthly hatred for Microsoft ever since being marooned on Ceti Alpha V, but Bill Gates still does not mind raking in the cash from all those Microsoft Office sales.

According to a survey taken in early 2000, Apple had sold a total of 315 Macs to customers on 2 continents. However, with Apple's recent success, these figures have seen a great increase. A moar recent study shows that Apple now has 908 users on 3 continents, only slightly behind Microsoft's user base of 4.6 billion customers.

In June 2005, over 9000 PowerPC fans gathered in Cupertino, California in order to collectively slit their wrists. This was meant to protest Apple's move to Intel, but instead provided welcome industrial dye for the new U2-endorsed, strawberry-flavoured Mac Mini.

Rumor Fact has it that after being questioned about Apple's move to Intel, Steve Jobs answered "I did it for the lulz".

Apple's corporate slogan is "Fuck Different."

[edit] Apple Users

A typical Macintosh user. Notice the enjoyment he is receiving from ingesting his own feces

The actual fucking thing

yes it does

Apple users believe that they are better than you are, but what they don't know is that Macs were originally (and are still today) made purely for watching gay porn. People who subscribe to Apple's corporate philosophy (see human slavery) often espouse the notion that Apple products are somehow inherently more liberal than other things built out of metal and silicon. While this is true for the special case of Ann Coulter, Apple users are in all other cases simply the delusional but willing victims of trendy advertising, which makes expensive computers made by fascists appear to be a counter-culture political statement. Apple users are simply fucktards who will believe anything they see in a commercial, as long as it agrees with the knee-jerk opinions they have already formed from other advertisements. In the final analysis Apple users are helpless slaves irrevocably wed to the