< Previous | Contents | Next >

DISCIPLINING CHILDREN: RESEARCH WITH PARENTS IN SCOTLAND

C. Discipline: perceptions and behaviour

Introduction

This section of the report looks at two main sets of issues. First, drawing largely — but not exclusively — on the qualitative data, it explores perceptions of how common different forms of parental discipline are. How likely do parents think that other parents are to use physical chastisement? And what changes do they think there have been in parenting styles in general in recent decades? The themes covered in the sub-sections are:

• continuities and discontinuities in parental discipline over time
• perceptions of other people's use of smacking

Secondly, it examines — via self-reported survey data — the actual prevalence of different forms of parental discipline and their patterning through the population. This draws largely on responses to questions about how parents deal with situations in which their own children misbehave, though an additional set of questions relating to their own experience as children gives some quantitative purchase on the question of whether or not there have been significant changes in styles of parental discipline over time. The themes covered are:

• actual use of different forms of discipline
• most recent use of physical discipline
• parents' own experiences as children

‘You used to get walloped’: Continuities and discontinuities in parental discipline over time

In most of the qualitative interviews, it was suggested that parents tend to be less ‘strict’ than in earlier eras and that physical discipline is both less common and less severe than it once was. As in relation to the broader shifts in relationships between children and adults, some of those interviewed put this down to a ‘creeping political correctness’; others to more positive developments in family life.

When asked about their own experiences as children, interviewees often talked of being ‘walloped’, ‘belted’, ‘hammered’ or ‘leathered’ in describing the punishments meted out by their own parents — terms which suggest a significant degree of force, the use of implements or repeated blows. Some consciously sought to distance their own parenting from such methods and, even among those parents who smack, there was a concern to stress that they were talking about ‘a wee tap’, ‘a quick smack’, or some other similarly measured and limited response. This shift in language is interesting and can be read in different ways: as reflecting a narrowing of how physical chastisement is actually practised; or as evidence of parents’ need to present socially-acceptable accounts of their own parenting.⁵

*You used to get walloped, when I was wee.
*When I was about 10. You know, in front of the mains, I was playing there, in wee square at the tenements. We stayed at the top, and dad was watching us fighting. You know, I was filling this guy in, but his mum saw us, so I was like that, but dad was watching us. "You get up the stair", and I got in that house, and I was kicked right up and down the lobby. I got battered.
Focus group, Dundee, Males, C2DE

*I got belted. Yes, I remember I was fourteen at the time, I'll never forget this, and I went along to my friend’s, and you know when you get in with a bad crowd or whatever, she started drinking so I thought I was a big woman. ‘Come on we'll have a wee drink of cider’. So I was drinking. And we come back along the road, you know, trying to walk in a straight line and all this. And I walked in the door. My dad was standing at the side of the door and my mum was waiting for me straight on. So I didn't see my dad and I got knocked from one end of the hall to the other and I never ever done that again. But that isn't the way I treat my kids. I talk to

my kids. I'd rather talk to them and try and deal with it that way. Rather than slap them. That's not going to make matters any better.
Depth interview, Glasgow, Female (single parent), C2DE

*I think it is as well, we can’t say we have never smacked, because we have but it is not a wallop it is just a light smack.
Paired depth interview (couple), Edinburgh, C2DE

But despite these apparent examples of inter-generational differences in parenting styles, the survey data also provide evidence of significant continuity. Respondents were shown a series of statements about the way in which they had been brought up and asked to what extent they agreed or disagreed with each. The results, shown in Table C1, suggest that current parents are more likely to see continuity than difference when comparing their parents’ and their own approaches to discipline. Moreover, respondents were likely to characterise their own parents as fair; as not over-using physical punishments; and as not having harmed them through the use of such punishments.

Table C - 1 Extent of agreement/disagreement with statements about own upbringing

Unweighted base=692 Statements on physical chastisement only, unweighted base=599

There is an interesting tension in some participants’ talk about their own parents disciplining practices — one of many contradictions that run through discussions of physical chastisement. On the one hand, many current parents see themselves as the ‘product’ of those practices (e.g. ‘it never did me any harm’, ‘it kept me on the straight and narrow’) and are reluctant to be openly critical of their upbringing; on the other, they have often chosen subtly or radically different disciplinary practices or ways of relating to their own children — albeit ones that sometimes leave them feeling uncomfortable about the extent to which they are ‘in control’.

*It certainly worked for us but, whether you’d want it for your own kids.
Focus group, Dundee, Males, C2DE

*It must be hard though, not to smack at times. I mean they can wind you up so much kids, I have had to go through it and…. Well, it didn’t do me any harm when I was young. But to me smacking is, I am not saying I agree or
Paired depth interview (couple), Edinburgh, C2DE

*Well, it’s sort of the modern approach to it. Like anything, things change with the generation. We’ve got different views and different outlooks, you know and, basically, I think physical punishment is not really accepted so much in society as much now, as it maybe was, going back into my generation. So, I only use it as a last resort, when things are getting totally out of hand, and there’s a real danger of someone getting hurt.
Depth interview, Edinburgh, Male, C2DE

‘Folk who say they have never done it, well, I can’t believe it’: perceptions of other people’s use of smacking

Although largely rejecting extreme forms of physical chastisement and believing current parents to be less strict than earlier generations, most of those interviewed believed that smacking is still widespread, if not universal, among other parents in Scotland.

We asked survey respondents what proportions of their close friends and family, with a child of about the same age as their child, they thought would smack in particular situations. The results are summarised in Table C-2 below. Although few thought that all their friends and family would smack, the majority of parents said that most or some of their peers would smack in each situation. Perceptions of prevalence were slightly higher for those thinking of friends and family with children aged one and two.

Table C - 2 Proportions of close friends and family respondents think would smack in different situations (% respondents)

Unweighted bases All ages of child=692 Ages 1 and 2 only=95

There were also some interesting variations by socio-economic group. As Figure C1 shows, C2DE parents were significantly more likely than those in groups ABC1 to say that ‘all’ or ‘most’ of their friends and family would smack the child in each of the four situations asked about.

Figure C - 1 Parents saying ‘all’ or ‘most’ of their friends or family would smack in different situations (%)
Unweighted base=692; ABC1 —n=372; C2DE — n=320

Overall, then, smacking continues to be seen as a ‘normal’ part of parenting and as deeply embedded in Scottish parenting culture. Before starting the research, we had envisaged that some interviewees might be reluctant to talk about the fact that they smack their children. In fact, the research team concluded that it was perhaps more difficult for individuals who did not smack to articulate their views and experiences, as these were often seen to run counter to the emergent group norms.

*I would say between 60 and 70% smack their kids at some point, but that’s my personal guess at that. It’s hard to say but, I would guess, somewhere about there.
Depth interview, Male, Edinburgh, C2DE

*I think I only know of two people who have never smacked a child in their lives. I only know of two people who I could put my hand on my heart and say, they have never smacked their children in their lives, you know what I mean.
Peer group, Dundee, Females, ABC1

*Interviewer: So do you think that most parents would have done that (given a light smack) at some point? *Definitely, definitely, folk who say they have never done it, well, I can’t believe it.
*You do get parents who haven’t smacked but there are very few of them.
Paired depth interview (couple), Edinburgh, C2DE

Parental behaviours: actual use of different forms of chastisement

So far, we have concentrated primarily on what parents in Scotland say about their own and others’ use of physical chastisement. But how do such perceptions square with actual behaviour? The following sub-sections draw on self-report data from the survey exercise to offer estimates of the prevalence of various forms of parental discipline. Respondents were asked two main sets of questions: the first related to their own experiences of being parented; the second, to the way in which as parents they deal with difficult situations involving their children. In situations in which respondents had more than one child, the latter were asked about just one of their children, selected at random.

Asking survey questions about discipline

A number of caveats are worth bearing in mind when reading the following data. Like any survey exercise examining the prevalence of sensitive behaviours, the results are affected by both the ability and willingness of respondents to answer accurately. Ability to answer accurately is primarily a question of recall. For a variety of reasons, respondents may forget that things have happened, or remember incidents incorrectly, including their timing. Willingness to answer is, of course, related to perceptions of the social acceptability of the behaviour in question and the extent to which respondents feel that they will be judged on the basis of their answers.

There is no question that discussion of parenting tends to be deeply imbued with moral judgement and it would, therefore, be naïve to assume that parents will always be willing to admit to behaviours that could be seen as indicative of ‘bad parenting’ or loss of control. That said, there are a number of methodological practices that can help to encourage open and honest response. These include contextualisation (e.g. setting the questions on chastisement in the context of a broader discussion about parenting), normalisation (e.g. using presumptive language, such as ‘how often?’, rather than the language of admission/confession, such as ‘have you ever?) and inclusivity (e.g. ‘even if it only happened once or twice’).

What then does the survey tell us about parenting practices in contemporary Scotland? Parents were asked to indicate how often they had used each of a range of disciplinary techniques with their child during the course of the past year. These included both physical and non-physical chastisements and behaviours that ranged from ‘non-abusive’ (e.g. calmly explaining why the behaviour was wrong) to ‘abusive’ (e.g. kicking or punching the child).

The table overleaf shows the different types of behaviour ordered on the basis that parents said they had used them at least once in the past year. The types of behaviours most likely to have been used at least once were verbal - whether discussing the issue calmly or shouting/yelling. There were then a number of non-physical forms of chastisement which a majority of parents had said they had used in the past year. The most prevalent of these were threatening to stop the child going out or take away treats, sending the child to their room and telling the child that they had made the parent sad or upset. The least common forms of behaviour were the more severe forms of physical chastisement and those which might be seen as abusive or 'unusual' (e.g. washing the child's mouth out with soap or pulling their ears or hair).

The behaviours most likely to be used many times (i.e. more than 10 times) were also the behaviours most likely to used at least once. In other words, those behaviours used by most parents are also used most frequently by parents, and the behaviours used by few parents were used relatively infrequently even by those parents who did use them.

There are some important differences by age of child (see Table C-4). The behaviours cited more than any other by parents of the youngest children (aged under 3) were moving something dangerous or tempting out of the child's way, and distracting the child in some way - actions which are intended to stop or prevent the behaviour but which are not forms of chastisement in the same sense as the other methods listed. Not surprisingly, threatening to stop the child going out/taking away treats or sending the child to their room were methods used less commonly with the youngest children. Smacks, and the threat of smacks, were used less with children aged 11 and over. When smacks were used with this age group, they were more often on the hand, arm or leg rather than bottom (the favoured target for all the other age groups). This is perhaps because smacking on the bottom might be seen as more humiliating for an older child (an issue returned to below) and inappropriate for pre-pubescent/pubescent children.

For most of the behaviours, women were marginally more likely to have used them than men and tended to have used them slightly more often - reflecting their greater role in childcare. However, there were surprisingly few differences between the forms of chastisement favoured by mothers and fathers. The exceptions were shouting or yelling (87% of women had used in past year compared with 78% of men), threatening to tell somebody else (e.g. partner) which was used by 59% of women and 45% of men in the past year, and telling the child they had made the parent sad or upset (68% of women and 55% of men in the past year). Men were somewhat more likely to say they had shaken their child (5% compared with 2% of women) and to have smacked or slapped on face or head or cuffed on ear (10% compared with 3% of women).

Table C - 3 Use of different forms of chastisement with own child in past 12 months (% respondents)

Unweighted base =692

Table C - 4 Use of different forms of chastisement by age of child (% of parents using in past 12 months)

Unweighted base=692

There were also some differences of note by socio-economic group. For each particular behaviour, those in social class C2DE were more likely to have used it at all and to have used it slightly more often — with the exception of ‘distracting the child in some way’ (29% ABC1 compared to 20% C2DE using more than 10 times). For example. those in class C2DE were more likely to give a child a chore or something unpleasant to do (41% had done this in the past year compared to 32% of ABC1s) and were slightly more likely to send a child to their room (71% had done this in the past year in comparison with 62% of those in class ABC1). Those in class C2DE were also more likely to threaten to tell someone else (e.g. a partner): 60% had done this in the past year compared to 48% in class ABC1. This was despite the fact that those in class C2DE were more likely to be single parents and could reflect more traditional roles of mothers and fathers or greater involvement/proximity of grandparents and other relatives. Parents in class C2DE were somewhat more likely to smack and to threaten to smack - in the past year, 45% had smacked on the bottom and 65% had threatened to smack. This compares with 34% and 54% respectively for ABC1 parents.

Prevalence of any physical discipline

A slightly easier way of exploring patterns of use of physical chastisement is to create a summary variable that combines the main the types of such behaviour⁷. Figure C-2 and Table C-5 illustrate the prevalence of physical chastisement using this variable.

Figure C - 2 Use of any physical discipline by age of child (% respondents)
Unweighted base=692: under 3 n=131, 3 to 5 n=116, 6-10 n=219, 11-15 n=226

Table C - 5 Use of any physical chastisement (% respondents)

Unweighted base=692

Most recent use of physical discipline

So far, we have looked at the forms of chastisement that parents may have used during the last 12 months or during the past week. The survey also provides information, however, about what exactly happened on the last occasion on which parents used some form of physical chastisement.

What does the survey tell us about the specific forms of physical chastisement used by parents? When asked what best described what they had done on the last occasion, the vast majority of parents said they had smacked the child on the bottom (56%) or on the hand, arm or leg (40%). Around 1 in 100 said that they had hit the child with an implement of any kind, and 3% had slapped or cuffed them around the face, head or ear.

Slight differences were evident here by age of the child, with older children relatively more likely to be smacked on the hand, arm or leg. In most cases (87%), parents said that they smacked or hit the child just once, though 9% did so twice and 5% three times or four times.

Figure C - 3 What happened on last occasion physical chastisement used
Unweighted base=359

The following graph shows parents’ perceptions of how hard they hit the child on that occasion. Overall, almost 9 in 10 said that they hit the child ‘not very hard’ (49%) or ‘not at all hard’ (38%), though there was some variation by age with older children slightly more likely to be hit ‘fairly’ or ‘very' hard.

Figure C - 4 How hard parent hit or smacked on last occasion, by age of child (% respondents)
Unweighted base=359, under 3 n=63, 3 to 5 n=91, 6 to 10 n=128, 11 to 15 n=77

To gain a sense of whether the use of physical chastisement was controlled or not, parents were also asked whether that was: ‘about as hard as you meant’, ‘a bit harder than you meant’ or ‘quite a bit harder than you meant’. More than nine out of ten (93%) said it was ‘about as hard’ as they had meant, 6% that it was ‘ a bit harder’ and 1% that it was ‘quite a bit harder’.

Parents own experiences as children

As a side note, it may be interesting to relate current parenting behaviour to that of the previous generation. As well as being asked about their own behaviour, respondents were asked how often, if at all, their own parents had used the same forms of discipline when they were younger. The results are illuminating in two main ways. First, they provide some evidence of change in the readiness of parents to use more extreme forms of physical chastisement. Secondly, the results suggest that current parents who were smacked as children are themselves more likely to smack their own children.

Although - because of differences in recall periods - it is not possible to make a direct comparison between parents’ experiences as children and the forms of chastisement they use with their own children, the results do lend some support to the idea that there has been a decline in the use of physical punishments over time. It is noticeable, for example, that four out of five (81%) respondents said that they were smacked on the bottom as children — 13% saying that this happened ‘many times’. Similarly, a third said that they had been hit with an implement by their parents (5% ‘many times’), a quarter (26%) that they had been hit around the face or head (5% ‘many times’) and 13% that their parents had shaken them. Overall, just 10% reported that their parents had never used any form of physical chastisement.

Table C - 6 Experience of different forms of chastisement during own childhood (% respondents)

Unweighted base=692

If these figures are read alongside those in the previous section, the argument that there has been a significant change in parenting practices over time appears to be a strong one. Of course, there are reasons for treating such comparisons with caution — parents may well be less forthcoming about their use of such measures than about their own parents’ use of them. Moreover, there are obvious differences in the recall period covered. Perhaps the best comparison we can make is between parents’ recollections of their own childhood and the data relating to whether currents parents of the oldest age group (11 to 15 year-olds) have ever used different forms of physical chastisement.⁸ This suggests that there may have been significant shifts in the use of smacking and other physical punishments — in particular, hitting a child with an implement or around the face or head.

Figure C - 5 Use of physical chastisement: changes over time (% respondents)
Unweighted bases own parents=692; 11+ only=227

Table C - 7 Use of different forms of chastisement (%)

Unweighted bases own parents=692 11+ only =227

We saw earlier that parenting style is often seen as a (positive or negative) response to one’s own experience as a child. The survey results certainly suggest that parents who were not smacked as children are significantly less likely than those who were to use physical chastisement with their own children: of those whose own parents had never used physical chastisement, 33% had done so in the past year with their own child compared with 53% of parents who had experienced physical chastisement themselves. The figures for use of physical chastisement in the past week were 5% (parents who were not physically chastised themselves) and 11% (parents who were physically chastised themselves). We should be wary of over-reading such data, however, as this group may also share with their parents a higher level of educational attainment, higher income and better structures of social support — all of which may also be important factors in shaping the way that children are brought up.

Key points

• Although there is a widespread view that, in general, parents are less ‘strict’ than in earlier eras and that physical chastisement is both less common and less severe than it once was, current parents are more likely to see continuity than difference when comparing their parents’ and their own approaches to discipline.
• Most of those interviewed felt that smacking is still widespread, if not universal, among parents in Scotland — in other words, it tends to be seen as a ‘normal’ part of parenting, rather than as an exceptional practice.
• The survey data on actual parenting behaviour reinforce this view. Although the most common forms of chastisement tend to be non-physical, around half of those interviewed said that they had used some form of physical chastisement within the past year, rising 77% of parents of children aged between 3 and 5. A fifth of all parents of children under 5 said they had used some form of physical chastisement in the past week.
• There is some evidence of a class effect here, with C2DE parents more likely than those in groups ABC1 to have used physical chastisement. Women are also more likely than men to have done so — a finding almost certainly explained by the greater involvement of the former in childcare.
• When parents were asked about the last time they used physical chastisement, two key points emerge. First, a smack on the bottom or on the hand, arm or leg is by far the most common form of physical chastisement, accounting for 96% of all incidents. Secondly, in almost 9 out of 10 cases, the child was smacked or hit once.
• Survey data on parents own experience of chastisement as children provide some evidence of change in the readiness of parents to use more extreme forms of physical chastisement and suggest that current parents who were smacked as children are themselves more likely to smack their own children.

< Previous | Contents | Next >