Pitchfork

Live music on T.V. this week:

Monday, December 15:

E!: Chelsea Lately: Ludacris

Tuesday, December 16:

NBC: Late Night With Conan O'Brien: Fleet Foxes
ABC: Jimmy Kimmel Live!: the Cure
CURRENT: La Blogotheque: the Dodos, Grand Archives
FUSE: Fall Out Boy: Live from the Chicago Theatre

Wednesday, December 17:

CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: Broken Social Scene
CBS: Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Death Cab for Cutie
FUEL TV: The Daily Habit: the Hives
SUNDANCE: Spectacle: Elvis Costello With...: Bill Clinton

Thursday, December 18:

CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: Of Montreal
NBC: Last Call With Carson Daly: the Cure
NBC: The Tonight Show With Jay Leno: Zooey Deschanel

Saturday, December 20:

NBC: Saturday Night Live: Adele (rerun)
PBS: Austin City Limits: Bloc Party, Ghostland Observatory (rerun)
FOX: Fearless Music TV: Made out of Babies, KristeenYoung, the Jealous Girlfriends, Sybris

No Fun Fest, the annual gathering of all things noisy and, er, really fucking noisy, has announced the lineup for its 2009 incarnation, going down May 15-17 at Brooklyn's Music Hall of Williamsburg. It is, as it ever was, an impressive bunch, and the perfect way to gauge just how much fun you won't be having should you attend.

Sonic Youth will perform as a band, as opposed to just various members' solo and side projects, in addition to sets from Merzbow,  Bardo Pond, Thrones, Blank Dogs, Axolotl, Bastard Noise, Conrad Schnitzler's Con-Cert, Chris Corsano, Carlos Giffoni, Skullflower, Marcus Schmickler and Peter Rehberg (aka Pita), Rafael Toral with C. Spencer Yeh and Trevor Tremaine, and many others.

The exact order of acts will be announced next month. Coordinating schedules: probably the least fun of all.

"In a Box" or "In My Pants", the Lonely Island-- the comedy team of "Saturday Night Live" cast member Andy Samberg and "SNL" writers Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone-- have got dick joke music videos on lock.

"It's getting a little embarrassing," Schaffer said in a recent conversation with Pitchfork. "We're like, 'We have so many other songs, but they're not the popular ones.' People seem to like the potty humor. We're a mirror. If society sees it and goes, 'Too much dick humor,' they need to look in the mirror and go, 'Why am I demanding this?'"

The world is about to discover how much more Lonely Island has to offer, as last week it was announced that Universal Republic will release their CD/DVD debut, INCREDIBAD, on February 10. The album is set to include "SNL" Digital Short classics like "Dick in a Box [ft. Justin Timberlake]", "Lazy Sunday [ft. Chris Parnell]", "Natalie Raps [ft. Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell]", and "Iran So Far [ft. Adam Levine]", plus newer tunes like "I'm on a Boat [ft. T-Pain]", "Sax Man [ft. Jack Black]", "Boombox [ft. Julian Casablancas]", "Dream Girl [ft. Norah Jones]", "Santana DVX [ft. E-40]", "Who Said We're Wack?", "Punch You in the Jeans", "We Like Sportz", "Shrooms", and first single "Jizz in My Pants", which made its debut on "SNL" a week ago. UPDATE: It's on iTunes now.

In addition to INCREDIBAD and dick humor, we talked to Samberg, Schaffer, and Taccone about the music they love (including their favorite T-Pain songs), their roles on "SNL", amazing/bad/horrific album covers, and being forced by Justin Timberlake to watch 'N Sync videos on YouTube.

Hey everybody, just a reminder that you've only got until 9 p.m. EST tonight, December 15, to enter The Pitchfork 500 iPod Giveaway Sweepstakes. As you know, the grand prize winner receives an iPod Classic as well as a $100 iTunes gift card, and 10 first prize winners will win a copy of the book. So click away! And good luck!

What book, you say? Ah yes, that would be The Pitchfork 500: Our Guide to the Greatest Songs From Punk to the Present, published by Simon & Schuster's Fireside imprint in November.

This handy paperback chronologically explores Pitchfork's 500 favorite songs from 1977-2006, constructing an alternate history of the past three decades of popular music-- one that extends beyond the typical Baby Boomer-approved canon of the Clash, Prince, Public Enemy, Nirvana, Radiohead, and Outkast.

From art-rock and proto-punk godfathers such as Brian Eno, Iggy Pop, and David Bowie to today's leading lights such as the Arcade Fire, the White Stripes, and Kanye West; from superstars to cult heroes; and from punk, indie, and pop to hip-hop, electronic music, and metal, we've created the ultimate playlist. Interspersed throughout are sidebars on the most vital subgenres from electro to grime to riot grrrl, along with pieces like "Career Killers: The Songs That Ended It All" and "Runaway Trainwrecks: The Post-Grunge Nadir."

Edited by Pitchfork founder/president Ryan Schreiber and editor-in-chief Scott Plagenhoef, and written by an all-star team of contributors, The Pitchfork 500 is the perfect book for the train ride to work, a cozy winter's night by the fireside, or extended stays on the toilet. And it sure would make for a nice holiday gift, hint hint.

The book is available in your friendly neighborhood bookstore right now. Or you can order it via Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Insound, Powell's, or Simon & Schuster.

Sure, Lost Channels is probably just yet another plainspoken reference to the natural world from Great Lake Swimmers, but let's be mischievous and pretend for a moment that the title of Toronto folkie Tony Dekker's new record was actually inspired by the (totally made up) electro-spectral phenomena that are "lost" television channels.

You have heard of lost television channels, haven't you? They're the ones that exist between the spaces on your TV dial reserved for the "normal" stations. They say that on certain nights, when electromagnetic interference levels are particularly high and all the right planets are aligned, you can use these lost channels to commune with the dead. Seriously!!

Okay fine, so the new Great Lake Swimmers disc is nothing so spooky as all that, though it does have a track called "Palmistry". The follow-up to Dekker's underrated 2007 set Ongiara arrives March 31 on Nettwerk, and the Swimmers will dust off their Speedos and banjos for a few early 2009 shows, with a to-be-announced spring tour to follow. Hey, I hear if you say "Ongiara" into a mirror three times...

Photo by Jason Crock

On Friday afternoon in Kent, England, something happened involving Dizzee Rascal and a baseball bat. Something bad, apparently, as Dizzee (birth name: Dylan Mills) was "detained on suspicion of possessing an offensive weapon," according to Sky News (via NME.com). So maybe he beat somebody up with a baseball bat? Or threatened to beat somebody up with a baseball bat?

No other info about the incident has surfaced as yet, other than that Dizzee is out on bail and has to report to police in late December. But it's probably a safe bet that somebody called somebody a pussyole during the proceedings.

In other Dizzee Rascal news, he appears on the latest Newham Generals' single "Violence", which will appear on their forthcoming album Generally Speking, out in February 2009 on Dizzee's own Dirtee Stank label. And he's got a spring UK tour lined up, opening for the Prodigy.

While not quite at Chinese Democracy levels of will-this-record-ever-come-out-and-do-we-still-care like Dr. Dre's Detox, Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2 is long-awaited and much-anticipated, to say the least. The two albums he has released since Only Built 4 Cuban Linx came out in 1995 (Immobilarity and The Lex Diamond Story) have been met with relative indifference, and the big question for a lot of people is whether or not Rae still has the stuff that made his solo debut a stone-cold classic.

With OB4CL2 set for a March release on his own Ice Water Records, Raekwon is aware of the pressure to deliver, but confident in what he's created. On the phone with Pitchfork recently, he called the expectations "a gift and a curse," but added, "The record is the shit. It's been getting around [in] my camp. It's another masterpiece ready to be released."

"I got some of the most talented producers in the game for the last 20 years that came up for this project," Raekwon said. "We didn't wanna have RZA be the only producer because we wanna move on, we wanna elevate. Life is about elevating. So we called some of our friends that really get busy in the game to come out, and when I tell you that these motherfuckers went off, they went off. That's why I've been holding shit back. I haven't really been releasing nothing from my album, 'cause I wanna make sure people know that this is the album. Don't get caught up in the single or one record or a mixtape record. Just know that, at the end of the day, you gotta go buy that album and go get the real shit. After you see the artwork and the production and the time invested into it, you're gonna want to have it as one of your top classics in your joint."

In addition to RZA, the list of motherfuckers who went off on the album includes Dr. Dre, Marley Marl, Pete Rock, DJ Scratch, Scram Jones, and the late J Dilla on the production side of things. The record also features appearances by Method Man, Ghostface Killah, GZA, Busta Rhymes, Inspectah Deck, and Travis Barker.

Aidan Moffat's last album,  I Can Hear Your Heart, might as well have been titled How to Make Love to a Scotsman. The ex-Arab Strap man will continue that instructive streak on his next one, How to Get to Heaven From Scotland, which is credited to Aidan Moffat and the Best Ofs. The set's regular edition is due February 16 from Chemikal Underground, though Valentine's Day will see the release of a very swanky box set.

If you opt for the deluxe version, you'll get the album on CD and LP, a 7" sporting covers of Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe" and Glen Campbell's "Love Is Not a Game", a five-song CD EP with four alternate takes on the album tracks and a bonus jam, a "How to Get to Heaven From Scotland" board game (!), and a Valentine's Day card signed and numbered by Aidan.

Note: As far as we're aware, buying How to Get to Heaven From Scotland does not ensure you entrance through the gates of St. Peter, though it probably can't hurt.

Moffat has also been working with Mogwai's Stuart Braithwaite under the name Aloha Hawaii; they released their first single this fall on Chemikal Underground. And he's been writing a monthly romance advice column for the British website the Quietus.

Though Moffat has no live dates in the works at the moment, he will make an appearance in the DJ booth at his former bandmate Malcolm Middleton's "Burst Noel" night at Glasgow's Fairfield Working Men's Club on December 19.

Middleton's got a few more dates besides, and a new album in the works as well. It bears the uplifting tentative title of The Day Is Shit, There Is Nothing Around the Corner and I've Nothing New or of Worth to Say About Any of It. It's probably due in the spring from Full Time Hobby. You know, probably. Whatever.

Some advice to all those going postal (sorry) while pining for a new Postal Service record: Give Up. Ben Gibbard laid out the cold hard truth in a recent interview with Rolling Stone's Rock & Roll Daily: "It's the record that never seems to want to come out. It's also just never been a priority...There never really was a plan to do a second album." Say it ain't so, bro!

Rumors of a sophomore offering from Gibbard and fellow Postal Servant Jimmy Tamborello have persisted since approximately 1912, but unless Ben's throwing us all for a loop here, the darn thing apparently doesn't even exist at this point. "The anticipation of the second record has been a far bigger deal for everybody except the two of us," he also said to Rock & Roll Daily. Rub it in why don't ya?

"I don't know about it being the indie-rock Chinese Democracy," Gibbard mused, "but now that Chinese Democracy has come out, I guess it just becomes the second Postal Service record that will never come out."

We do get one glimmer of hope, though: "We work from time to time together but we have other things that take up all of our time." Duuuude, what could possibly be more important than a new Postal Service record right now?

And what about Jimmy? Well, as he told Pitchfork in 2006, "I definitely want to do another [Postal Service record]." What's that they say about the road to hell again?

Image via Format Mag

Ah, the magic of LEGO. Once merely a children's toy, the little Danish bricks have gone on to inspire all manner of wonder and wackiness, from theme parks to that landmark White Stripes video to a sprawling recreation of the Holy Bible in lurid detail (no, seriously). Musically inclined types of the "You" epoch have done their part as well, creating video clips and-- like that one Japanese guy does with his food-- album covers.

The album covers thing has really taken off: it even has its own Flickr group, and a rundown of blah-to-hysterical offerings surfaced on the web earlier this year. What prompted us to address this phenomenon today, however, is Format Mag's recent list of "20 Classic Hip Hop Album Covers Recreated in LEGO" [via Prefix].

LEGO has made strides in adding personality to their iconic minifigs in recent years, something Format capitalizes on in their hilarious attempts to match "tough guy" plastic characters with the real life tough guys and characters who grace a lot of these covers. The results range from the silly...



...to the goofy...



...to the adorable:



Props to the Format folks for taking a purist approach to their pastiche: as far as this LEGO nerd can tell-- and unlike some of the Flickr group submissions-- none of the minifigs and pieces used in this project were altered in any way.

And while we're on the topic, here are some more fun offerings from outside the realm of hip-hop [via Flickr and The Toy Zone]. People of the internet, we salute you. (Also: OMG, "Windowlicker", WTF.)