|
|
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
Record Label: Greedy Asshole Records
|
|
The first thing I should say, before I get into anything else, is that if you've bought Radiohead's In Rainbows via their website, you've been swindled. Why in the world would you pay for it when you could get it for free? Idiot.
So, anyways, as every indie rock nerd knows, Radiohead has released a new album. Sort of. I don't know if it's technically called releasing because I wasn't given anything to review. Secondly, they think they're cool by announcing that you can only download it from their site, which is fully monopolizing on the industry! They're worse than AT & T! Plus, there's also a huge problem with all of this: the new album sucks.
I'll be honest in saying that I never really liked Radiohead. They always struck me as this mediocre bar band with the world's worst vocalist. And I know it worked for a while for Guns N Roses, but these guys don't even rock out. They write boring, mid-tempo songs about robots and stuff, and then add some stupid electronica to it and call it art. But what's worse is the legion of fans that seem to eat up every single B through L side of every track and holding them in only the highest esteem. I have yet to meet a Radiohead fan that doesn't like any single track they have performed. I mean, even Rick Springfield has had some bad songs. The new "album" (I'll get to why I put it in quotations later) is full of all of said bad songs, with nary a song that is even remotely engaging or on a level at par with most of the rest of the music out today. I mean, even fucking Deerhoof have better songs than this (albeit not many). All you get is more of the same overrated band that seems to have figured out how to get really rich without actually trying. I mean, for all you know, these guys could've recorded the album on their home computer and are making nothing but profit. Which gets me to my next point.
It seems to me like Radiohead are exactly the kind of greedy and pretentious assholes that would make you pay your own price for nothing but low quality mp3s. I mean you don't even get liner notes! But listen to this: you can pay as much as you deem worthy, but if you haven't heard the tracks, how are you supposed to know what to pay? If anything, they should let you download the songs first and decide what to pay afterwards. But not only that, I've heard that people are paying over $10 for a download, these being the same very people who download every other album they have on their computer for free. So why Radiohead? Are they really that much in need of your money that you can rip off a band form Arkansas who are just trying to put food on the table? I'm pretty sure Radiohead can feed themselves. Furthermore, when most bands put out real albums, most of the money goes into production costs, promotion, recording, and taxes, so the band gets about one or two dollars per album sold. Here those filthy sneaky assholes in Radiohead are taking ALL of your money and blowing it on various expensive drugs. If anything, the next time they come to your town to play live, they should pay YOU!
But beyond the ripoff of this whole ordeal, my biggest problem with this is it is not an album. It is a collection of mp3s that don't actually exist because you can't buy it in the store. They are nothing but binary code. Let's look at a breakdown here:
Computer: real
Compact Disc: real
Internet: fake
Internet porn: fake but awesome
Mp3s of songs from a compact disc: fake
Radiohead's In Rainbows: fake and assholes
By this logic, because the album doesn't actually exist and I can't hold it in my hands it's not an album. It's no better than that friend of mine, the prince in Burkina Faso who's going to be sending me a huge cheque any day now. Because they didn't send me anything and I refuse to pay for the album, I haven't even actually listened to it. I just know based on my own prejudgments and assumptions that it's going to suck and those douches in Radiohead are running all the way to the bank. |
|
| RATING & SUMMARY: |
|
|
Reviewer: Maurice El Guapo |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
