Sceptre
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
![Sceptre retires...again.[1]](/web/20090121161948/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Retire.jpg)
| —Sceptre, two days before returning to Wikipedia to edit with three sockpuppets. |
| BEWARE VANDALS! Sceptre WATCHES THIS ARTICLE LIKE A FUCKING HAWK! SO DON'T FUCK AROUND!! |
- "After seeing your comment "Riana has brains and balls" on her RFB, I am inclined to oppose - I do not wish for a shemale to be a 'crat" [2]
- "Hi, I'm Sceptre, but you may call me Will. I'm 15. I can't stand ugliness on my userpage, so..." [but then he puts his picture on there] - From old version of his userpage
- "Romantically/sexually, I'm heterosexual, and I am currently single." - From old version of his userpage
- "Stroking the neckbeard is the only satisfaction I get these days without beating a hooker, and that takes energy I could spend on masturbation and World of Warcraft porn-subscriptions."-Sceptre, engaging in an editor review on TOW.
- "I do have a sense of humor"
Note to Will: please see WP:NOT. Wikipedia is NOT your EHarmony singles listing.
- "Do you think I fucking enjoy my personal details being splashed around ED?" - Sceptre, feelin' butthurt
Sceptre is a Wikipedia admin (LOL DENIED and LOL DENIED) himself. If you've ever heard someone say that Wikipedia is run by angsty teenagers, Sceptre is the textbook example. The name Sceptre comes from his phallic obsession, in other words, he likes the cock.
He is secretly the bastard child of Amanda Bynes' character in the film "She's the Man", and Nelson Muntz. He's also the godson of non-terrorist Osama bin Laden.
[edit] In his own words
| —from Sceptre's user page |
[edit] The unabridged history of our favorite little Limey Wikinazi
Sceptre was a junior high student named Will Noble and attention whore at the Wikipedia School for Holding the Balls of Information in a Vicegrip. He started his Wikipedia career off by vandalizing the George W. Bush page. He then edited for over a year there without actually writing anything important, such as this revert of obvious vandalism. Nevertheless, he was very successful in the "becoming an admin" process. As one might expect, this didn't really involve a lot of actual editing. It was mostly making friends with popular Wikipedians like Phaedriel, nathanr, and others, voting "support" on all the Requests for Adminship, and voting "delete" on all the Articles for Deletion. He also joined Esperanza, which would later become tragically ironic. He had quite a nice little social network going on.
Before too long, he was made an admin, which was the ultimate step in his little MySpace-like activities on Wikipedia. He even got himself a little online girlfriend. Best of all, he could get rid of any users who he didn't particularly care for: Attack me, you're blocked. No questions asked. And blocked they were, usually for ridiculously long times. A typical block would be "indefinite: personal attacks, being a dick", and no one worried because he had spent so much time brown-nosing that people didn't bother with him. Sceptre was especially fond of blocking established users forever for emails that hurt his feelings.
But wait! That second link shows that he blocked nathanr forever! But I thought they were buddies! Read on...
[edit] Enter Matthew Fenton
During one of those rare occasions where he was paying attention to his surroundings at his school instead of daydreaming about his wiki friendslist, he met Matthew Fenton, a fellow user who shared several classes with Sceptre -- that is, when Sceptre actually attended class. They had several things in common: both were overweight, sexless slobs, both had no lives, and, above all else, both were addicted to Wikipedia as badly as most dipshits and retards are to Second Life.
The two became fast friends and spread disharmony throughout Wikipedia. In over two thousand separate incidents, Matthew made stupid edits and/or outright deleted user contributions to numerous articles, responding when asked for justification with acronyms like WP:FOAD or WP:IMAFAG. Further questioning was grounds for a block or ban, because Sceptre always showed up within minutes to do Matthew's bidding.
On rare occasions other admins, ones who used their real names and were easily contactable outside of the normal Wikipedia "red tape" methods of appeal, would overrule Sceptre once it became apparent that his article revisions and account blockings were committed without bothering to view the entire context of the situation, but for the most part the duet of corruption and collusion between Matthew and Sceptre continued without any lessening of their joint reign of terror.
Sadly for him, Matthew reaped the consequences of his behavior, as shown in his repeated attempts to gain adminship. Sceptre's downfall, however, was yet to come.
[edit] The nathanr saga
The nathanr dramafest was Sceptre's undoing. Sceptre and the twice-her-age pedophile nathanr both took interest in a 15-year-old named Seargeant Snopake, another Phaedriel groupie. Unsurprisingly, Snopake was creeped the hell out by nathanr's big scary mancock, so she quit Wikipedia forever and Sceptre and Phaedriel got all pissed off at nathanr. He even went as far as to take nathanr off his friends list (oh noes!)
When he got tired of fair competition for booty, Sceptre decided to deal with the problem in the usual way: by getting the other guy banned forever. To do this, he enlisted the help of the overweight and tyrannical admin Cyde, who was only too happy to oblige, and finish the job. This block was overturned, but it didn't stay that way. Sceptre got his last revenge, making his block of nathanr his final administrative action.
Sceptre also ventured briefly into ED territory. He whined and cried here, and threatened editors with a crowbar. Eventually he got bored and left, but not before being the target of an absurd amount of lollery.
When Nathangate finally made it to arbitration, Sceptre backed down on his previous decision:
| —Sceptre |
[edit] Aftermath
In an effort to save face over the nathanr episode, Sceptre gave up his adminship and got all emo. The attention whore move worked, and he got all kinds of tearful "plz come back!" messages. Shortly afterwords, he nominated himself for re-adminship, but he failed miserably. The Wikipedophiles finally got tired of his shit and told him so, and he withdrew his nomination. Feeling butthurt, he decided to relieve his stress by nominating hordes of legitimate articles for deletion. His userpage is still full of self-fappery, but the pathetic humility is only too obvious. In short, Sceptre was pwned by drama. As a result, he is focused on taking down Encyclopedia Dramatica by trying to convince people to sue for calling them Wikipedophiles. He has also become severely depressed due to kids bullying him at school. The bullying is believed to have been done by people he had previously banned, unfairly, on Wikipedia. Apparently he left his crowbar at home. This led him to take a wikibreak of about 8 hours.
Sceptre continues to cry emo tears over his status at Wikipedia with a side order of ED blame. Both he and his buttbuddy, Matthew, have also abused the so-called Right to Vanish feature that Wikipedos created in order to cover themselves after being busted for being - you guessed it - Wikipedos. They even get those who they harass and bully blocked by claiming that their "real identities" have been revealed, even though they've revealed them on their own fucking user pages! LOL!!
[edit] Sceptre’s Latest “Luv” Interests
Apparently Matthew’s affections aren’t enough to soothe Sceptre’s broken heart. He’s since taken up two additional partners for whatever excuse for sex he claims to be attempting. One of these is your typical sodomite relationship with Springeragh, a known Wikipedo who’s become Sceptre’s #1 fan and supporter in recent weeks. The name “Springeragh” translates from Gaelic a language developed in Ireland by its indigenous fags to adapt to being drunk all the time while having one’s tongue up another’s arse and still be able to communicate—as “one who prefers guinea pigs over gerbils for stuffing.” Which explains the mutual attraction, as Sceptre is essentially a big fat pig who smells like a guinea wop whore’s cunt! There are rumors of marriage here on this one, which has caused Matthew no small degree of emo. LOL!!
At the urgings of his mother—a lesser-class whore in the employ of the House of Commons—Sceptre’s decided to try porking older women just to increase the chances he’ll accidentally contaminate the gene pool as his father did sixteen years ago. But since no female of any species in her right or wrong mind would allow his feeble excuse for a dick to enter any orifice she has to open, he’s been forced to beg really fat, ugly old bitches to offer him a mercy fuck.
[edit] Like teh clap, Sceptre Comes Back: The saga continues
Rather than actually editing on TOW, Sceptre has now turned exclusively to harassing innocent people and getting them banned permanently for minor content disputes [3][4]. Apparently Sceptre has checkuser connections on ED as well. WE ARE ALL DOOMED! Way to go, Sceptre.
He's now permanently back at TOW and will be running for admin again soon enough. Be sure to vote no to make him cry again.
As part of his propaganda surge to get Jimbo Wales to back his return to adminship, Sceptre wrote a love poem to Jimbo:
| —Will (talk) 13:26, 19 July 2007 (UTC) |
And then there's this particular quote that's got everyone who hates his fat little guts laughing themselves silly:
| —Sceptre |
Now, be honest - how in the fuck could he miss the tools when they're still playing Wikinazi games on TOW? LOL!!
| —Sceptre |
Apparently he believes JEWS DID WTC.
[edit] Sceptre Gets All Butthurt About Wikipedia!
Recently, Sceptre posted this little tirade about the current state of TOW. It is included here for the lulz:
| —Sceptre |
[edit] This Faggot Just Doesn't Stop
Once again Sceptre has raised his ugly, compacted little mongol head when it came to ED's presence on TOW, by instigating and getting Urban Rose banned when she dared to question the ongoing anti-ED circle jerk. He not only reverted her complaint about him on the admin's notice board, but reverted her calling his ass to task on his user talk page, as well as closing her new deletion review on ED's article, due to vandalism apparently. The nasty little faggot. As Sceptre has been denied OPs on an apparently permanent basis, he got one of his butt-buddies, Anthony to ban UR for him, getting off scot-free for his blatant dishonesty, ass-covering and faggotry. He also got some of his E-Friends to start spamming UR with emails telling her to quit trying to get TOW to live up to it's own bullshit standards, something that it has consistently failed to do. Whether or not it was because Anthony was happy to help maintain the rigid policy of censorship over ED's ongoing Internet victories or because Sceptre has photos of him with children is unclear. But the effect is the same; TOW continues to try and protect itself from avenues of honest criticism and it's inner-circle clique of incestuous editors from the real world, all the while losing credibility and becoming an object of derision. So here's a big fuck you to Sceptre, Anthony and the Jimbo Wales All-Singing All-Dancing Clusterfuck and Pedo Extravaganza.
In the end however, the TOW circle jerk was able to pull their heads out of their collective asses for a split second to see the light, and promptly revoked Sceptre's rollback function [5]. Naturally Sceptre took this crushing blow to his fragile ego in a calm, polite, and adult manner.
(User rights log); 00:33 . . AuburnPilot (Talk | contribs) changed rights for User:Sceptre from rollbacker to (none) (Per discussion on WP:AN; abuse)
"Per Sceptre's abuse of the rollback function, and the concerns noted above, I have revoked his access. - auburnpilot talk 00:34, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
- RickK would've loved you. Sceptre (talk) 00:43, 5 May 2008 (UTC)"
As of this writing, it appears that Sceptre has taken his ball and gone home. He blanked both his user and talk page a short time after it was decided to revoke his privileges, proving once again that TOW is fucked beyond all recognition when this shambling tubby pile of teen angst is the sort of material they hand out sysop status to. He made his final concession of defeat like so:
| —Sceptre, 01:12, 5 May 2008 (UTC) |
He then recreated his page some 13 hours later and is still active to this day.
[edit] Post-ED article nonsense
As if clamoring for the TOW ED article wasn't enough, Sceptre succeeded in making a further dick of himself even after the article was recreated. He decided to start repetitively removing the ED URL from the article [6] [7] [8] citing Wikipedia:Requests for arbitration/MONGO as the reason (the request resulted in direct links to ED being banned but not text-based URLs). He claims that the users who want the article to include a URL (which greatly outnumber the users who think it shouldn't) are secretly trying to pave the way for an external link. To add further insult to injury, when Sceptre saw that a poll about adding an external link to the article was going in favor of adding a full-fledged link, he waltzes in and declares the discussion mooted because of some stupid statement made by Jimbo [9]. Despite all of this, the article currently hosts both a URL and an external link.
[edit] Summer of 2008: Mental breakdown
[edit] He finally loses rollback
For years, he abused rollback and people who complained about his abuse were usually banned. But on August 6, 2008 [10] Sceptre went in a battle with SchmuckyTheCat and lost, and then lost even moar when he MBisanz took his rollback away. August 23rd, Fritzpoll gave it back but just four day later took it away again and that was just one day before he got an indefinite block.
[edit] Bedford
Bedford was a simple, kind, 40-year-old man who only had two hobbies: perfecting articles on Wikipedia about national historic sites relevant to the American Civil War and masturbating to female wrestling. One day Bedford decided to mix it up a bit and added an entry at Wikipedia's Did you know... :
Did you know...
Sceptre did not know this. Being the closeted TPOWIS fetishist that he is, he became extremely excited and had a mental breakdown which pushed him into believing that women do not belong in the kitchen, but should be respected and treated as equals.
| —Sceptre, "not being a hypocrite" |
Even the wikipedos laughed at Sceptre at first but being the weasel that he is, Sceptre managed to find further proof that Bedford was, in fact, insane by lurking on his MySpace. In the end Sceptre pulled some strings and got almighty Jimbo Wales to desysop Bedford.[11]
[edit] Kurt
Apparently drunk with hubris, Sceptre begins to harass Kurt Weber over the exact behavior he himself is guilty of. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[edit] Criticism of...
Sceptre officially lost it and started nominating for deletion every single article that contained the word "Criticism". Every single AFD he started was closed as trolling by the administrators and consequently he threw a tantrum on WP:AN.
[edit] Sceptre hits rock bottom
On August 28, Sceptre was hit with the banhammer by Arbitrator FT2. The reason? Abusive cockpuppetry! Will had logged out, and as an anonymous pussy vandalized user pages and policy pages to harass Kurt Weber and Giano, and is also believed to have attempted to cloak his IP [12]. The act of changing “Kurt” to Kunt and adding gayretard to a page was deemed too witty for Wikipedia and his account was suspended. This was only hours after he initiated a drama whoring Requests for Comment on himself. It backfired horribly as after his ban by FT2 it was flooded by people calling for his head.
But it’s very obvious that no one addicted to Wikipedia can outwait a two-month ban, and so he will evade it long before it’s over. Only 7 days after being blocked he was caught editing under the IP he was caught using to fuck around with before (78.105.113.152) You would think someone who has been on the site most of their life would know how to vandalise properly and not be the most obvious fucktard ever.
AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH!! 2 days after getting banhammered, butthurt, and leaving forever, Spectre came back, in sock form. And came back again, in different-sock form. And then he kept socking [13] [14] and his socks talk to themselves, too. Apparently "retirement" now means returning with a sock puppet army.
Despite being blocked for a few months, Sceptre still continued to view Wikipedia daily. He whined on his talk page about his block and about users that he previously harassed being unblocked (LOL deleted). He also checked his talk page daily, as he ended up requesting by email that his page be protected due to vandalism. In short, even when it told him to piss off, Wikipedia was still his life.
[edit] And just keeps going
After whining about his block to a couple of admins and getting them to start two separate AN threads debating whether or not it was fair, some fucktard eventually allowed Sceptre to return to Wikipedia early in November 2008 (though it looks like even while he was banned he was still writing articles for Wikipedia on Microsoft Word, even going so far as to use perfect wiki markup code and everything).
Despite being totally unfair, the banning was good for him, so fuck you!!!1!
| —from Sceptre's user page |
He immediately set about the usual shit, this time edit warring to get Wikipedia to stop calling Osama bin Laden a terrorist. Not because Jews did WTC, but because of crucial Wikipedia policy. Cunt. He ended up being blocked again and proceeded to bitch about it in his userspace claiming he was going to quit Wikipedia again AGAIN, though a couple of days later he felt compelled to express his vehement opposition to the censorship of child porn.
[edit] Sceptre and Racism
Sceptre doesn't like blacks much. He doesn't like their music much, evidently, and he is a big fan of archaic children's novels that make black people out to be monkeys. He also has a subpage named "mexican girl" for no apparent reason.
| —Sceptre |
| —Sceptre |
[edit] In Summary
| —Sceptre, Wikipedia, User:Sceptre |
| —Sceptre, Wikipedia, Administrator's Noticeboard |
[edit] Sceptre Cash
Hey Trolls,
My name is Sceptre, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, Dramacrats who spend every second of their day writing attack articles. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever written any Featured articles? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the stalkers at the Wikipedia Review.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best vandalism. I'm pretty much perfect. I was an admin for a year, and have over a hundred userboxes. What sports do you play, other than "troll sysops' talk pages"? I also enforce BLP, and have a banging hot admin coach (She just gave me a barnstar; Shit was SO featured). You are all trolls who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my admin coach.
[edit] Gallery
 Another example of how pedos have invaded schools all over the fucking world! |
 Knott getting IgNobled. LOL!! |
 Sceptre getting ready to go work his favorite corner - across the street from Big Ben!! |
 The limey teacher ho who turned Sceptre off on women in general! |
 The Twinkle Twink!! |
 Riana, one of Sceptre's wimenz |
 Sceptre's best friend |
 Sceptre photoshopped to be less ugly |
Where's your crowbar now? |
 What Sceptre will look like in 30 years' time. |
 Sceptre whilst moist. Self-taken photo, of course. |
 Hawt |
[edit] See also
- Sceptre's medical condition defined
- Fat
- Wikipedia:Don't Feed the Divas
- Teenager
- Phaedriel
- Nathanr
- Bedford - Sceptre's actions saw this editor desysopped!
- Ass Burgers
- Jaranda
[edit] Links
- Will has 62 friends (61 of which paid to be friends). :(
- Will has 118 friends, but people only laugh at him.
- He has infinite user subpages transcluded into his user page and they get vandalized a lot, which then show up on his userpage. This bit promoting his ED article lasted 22 hours.
-
User and talk pages.Deleted and Blanked - Admin logs, permanent now that he had to GTFO of adminship.
- Still hating ED, still missing his powers
- Stalk
- RFA the first.
- RFA the second.
- Sceptre breaking under Grawp's endless Wikipedia assault.
- Sceptre on editor review with all the complaints about him being hidden
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