GameSpot
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
GameSpot is a lying, shitty and bullshit video game review website, which companies can pay big advertising dollars to get their shitty games 9.5/10s.
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[edit] Reviews
Since most games today cost more than the annual GDP of some countries, it would be kinda nice to know which games aren't complete crap. So sites like GameSpot offer their bullshit opinion as to which waste of time you should spend $60 you could otherwise be spending on something useful. Of course it wasn't long before certain companies learned that they can bribe these sites to give their otherwise doomed games good scores, so morons would go out and buy it. This has lead to much drama among game nerds, and Democrats.
Now GameSpot thinks we're completely fucking stupid, because they're telling us that Jeff's termination had nothing to do with the Kane & Lynch review, and that Jeff's video review was pulled because of audio problems. Isn't it convenient that two weeks after the review, GameSpot decided that the video had audio problems and then fired Jeff?
[edit] Reviewers
Jeff K: Jeff finds games too hard to play because he nearly drowned in the toilet at birth. If he can get to the end of the first level he gives the game a 9.0+ score. Basing his score on sexual pleasure gained and biased opinions on what wins depending on its graphics and not its actual fun value.
Bethany: Bethany was beaten at birth, then filled with some sort of ugly poison and disease. At the age of 5 the cruel yet necessary teasing she received from fellow special education students, resulted in her dropping out of school and becoming the first generation of mini-crack-whore. After learning her true talent was playing those shitty made Japanese games produced by the minute, she began reviewing them for customers as she took a mouth full of cock. This is where she met Jeff, and was hired to work alongside him at GameSpot. She's known to underrate anything she can't eat, but somehow she has indeed managed to eat several game discs, and a small child. "The fat whore will eat anything."
Alex N: A hardly tolerable, but semi-cooler-than-the-other-fucktards, reviewer. Thinks he is great at playing drums but really blows hard throbbing African phallus at it. He had a good friendship with Jeff G. until he got promoted and Alex stayed at a shit rank. Alex now lives with his mother in Ohio, making monies from the interwebs.
Jeff Gerstmann: Jeff G. was a fat fuck who is teh biased about Zelda!!!1 He is sweating uncontrollably in every video he is in. His moisture is a combination of teh AIDS and being really really fat. But somehow manages to review games he's too lazy and fat to play. Fired for giving Kane & Lynch a bad review after Eidos bought half of the site to put up ads and banners. - 1
Rich Gallup: If he's not making shitty segways on a podcast then he's screaming the name of whatever crappy show he's doing. All of the members on the site got teh butthurt when he left because they all though that he would be loyal to them forever so they bitched on the forums.
[edit] Forums
The Forums, which have merged with GameFAQs, are probably some of the worst on the entire internet, especially the System Wars (SW) section.
SW is broken up into four groups:
- Sheep - Nintendo Fanboys, who are the most mature if not arguing about consoles is mature.
- Cows - Sony Fanboys. The very few who are intelligent are dragged down by the rest who are blithering idiots.
- Lemmings - Xbox Fanboys. Shit that should be wiped off the face of the earth.
- Hermits - PC fans, who are consistently absent due to their insistence on jerking off over their rigs.
The rest of the forums are made up of 13-year-old boys who find posting old memes such as Captain Planet, Chuck Norris and the O rly owl funny, Rickrolling for no fucking reason, and a bunch of kids asking for game cheats because they suck so hard they can't complete Big Rigs, let alone just go to GameFAGS.com
The Off Topic is barely passable but it has a few users who aren't retarded. * There used to be more but the mods banned them for making too many lulz. Don't piss off the mods, or Omnislash will rape your babies.
All of all Off Topic is full of fat fags. 100% of the topics here will either be:
- Religion
- Girl Threads (at about 99%)
- Retarded
When a person with some intelligence registers at GameSpot's forums, they are moderated constantly to annoy them, until they leave. This ensures that the users that stay are 12-14 year old idiotic boys. This is important, because Micheal Jackson secretly owns GameSpot and requires the members to send him secksy nekid pictures.
When you post anything of any worth, you will be suspended for 7 days. If you have any tendency to not communicate like a robot, you will be suspended for 7 days.
[edit] Moderators
Complete douche-bags with nothing better to do than lurk in boards gracing everyone with their "intelligence". Moderation, like stated above, will happen at any moment. Usually it happens when you post something that can increase ones knowledge of games or consoles, or anything that is not just plain bullshit. Moderators seem to be retarded themselves as they take offense to anything relating to those with a lower IQ. But it is common knowledge that retards cannot be offended because they are not people and do not have feelings!
[edit] Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
Big Rigs is the worst game in the world and has the lowest GameSpot score. One of the only moderately tolerable reviewers, Alex N., reviewed it. The video can generate a few lulz, because the videos of the game makes any nerd get worked up about how bad the finished product is.
The dumbfuck AZNs who made it seemed to have forgotten to make the walls un-clippable, and so you can go through most things, and you can pull a fucking Houdini (not the sex position) and take your 18 wheeler up a mountain side with out ANY struggle. Srsly guys. WTF is dis pile of shit?
This turd is even worse than the Necrophiliacs wet dream, horrible zombie raping shit fest Dead Rising by Crapcom.
However in Big Rigs if you win a race, YOU'RE WINNER! It's MOAR significant than being an hero.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- The GameSpot website.
- The review that caused much butt hurt for Nintendo fanboys because it was lower than a 9.5
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