Troll
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A troll, most commonly encountered on the internet, is any person who purposely causes controversy and disrupts shit for his own amusement. The term derives from "trolling", a style of fishing which involves trailing bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. As a verb, "to troll" is probably a corruption of "trawl." Troll is fine as a verb since trawling/trolling for comments and flames is innate troll behavior. Their habitual attacks on forums is usually a result of their awareness of the pretentiousness and excessive self-importance of many forum enthusiasts. One of many unsung internet heroes, most are quite intelligent. Their actions bring much of the stupidity of other forum users out into the great wide open. A "Troll" is a mythical monster that lives under a bridge and surprises people who try and cross the bridge with some bizarre puzzle or challenge that they must complete before crossing. It has been suggested that people who lurk in groups and suddenly enter discussions with unwanted and provocative contributions inspire the same type of fear in law-abiding netizens. More rational people know that Trolls are, in fact, monsters who live under a bridge, probably in Utah, who flocked to the information superhighway after real superhighways were declared obsolete by Al Gore. Bad things happen when trolls meet IRL.
Proxies are widely known to make trolls invincible, living forever in a cycle of newborn trolletes. It is a common belief that each ban makes a troll stronger.
Novice trolls often experience troll's remorse. Such feelings tend to pass once they realize that people who take the Internets seriously enough to get upset by trolling really ought to kill themselves. Once they reach this point, they are said to suffer from Internet troll personality disorder. After long enough, they may even develop Chronic Troll Syndrome.
Note: not to be confused with the gay slang verb "to troll" which means to trawl for sex (they are also the source of all evil.) Trolling experience may change during IRL play.
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[edit] History
Trolling was invented by Socrates and called Socratic Irony. It was performed IRL. Unfortunately, primitive people found irony confusing and scary, so they forced him to drink hemlock and die.
The bible writers were the OTs (original trollers). they were so fucking good people are still believing and RRRAAAGGGGing over that bullshit today.
Quite possibly one of the lulziest cases of historical trolling occurred in 1857 in the British colony of India. The British included native-born soldiers, both Muslim and Hindu, into their army, and then royally pwned their asses by putting pig grease on the bullet cartridges for the Muslim soldiers, and cow grease on the bullet cartridges for the Hindu soldiers. These are paper cartridges, mind you, and every soldier was trained to bite open the wrapping in order to pour the gunpowder down the barrel. It was later recorded in the respective holy books of the two religions that every one of these soldiers burned for eternity in sand nigger hell.
Much lulz ensued until the Hindus and the Muslims found out and staged a revolt. Then the British killed them all, and even more lulz were had by all.
Trolling was later taught as a college-level course by Professor Tim Pierce, resulting in Wikicide.
U.S. courts have found that trolling is a Constitutionally-protected right [1]
[edit] How to tell a troll
Most trolls believe that they are, in fact, funny. Anyone who does not agree with them is obviously either: overly sensitive, has no life, no sense of humor, or is a combination of two or all of these. In many instances, one can see where troll has in fact messed up but is too wrapped in his own little laugh to notice how much of a douche they have really been. These trolls are the most easy to identify, as they often stop leaving comments when it is obvious even to a monkey with a brain tumor that they have fucked it up, or when you see a comment that begins with telling the owner of the site/picture/story/etc that they suck for no good reason. To be absolutely sure, look for the word "lulz" anywhere in their comments, or YHBT at the end of the comments. Also a dead giveaway is the tl;dr as the basic method of replying in an intelligent manner requires knowing what you are replying to.
Additionally, attention whores are not trolls, just irl bimbos.
Your typical encounter with a Troll
Encounter from a Japanese perspective
[edit] Different kinds of internet trolls
- A person who brings life to a tired, dull internet message board by purposeful attempts to start flame wars or Internet drama by posting comments that are patently Fucktarded, yet still inflammatory enough to enrage the stupid, irrational and humorless. The moment someone points out that the troll in question was just gunning for a reaction usually results in a fire drill.
- A person that throws around the troll insult to: anyone who defeats them in an argument, anyone who points out facts the real troll doesn't want people to know, or someone the real troll picks at random to stick falsely with a troll label for sheer lulz. This second type of troll is 98.9999999% of all trolls now and is often called an Anti-troll.
- A person affiliated with the group Bantown, commonly known for their lulz. GNAA IS DEAD, JEWS KILLED GNAA. Penis Pump are the trolls of the future. A member of /i/,TA, PN, the Marcab Confederacy and other various trolling organizations.
- A Fat middle aged man or Russian Woman who lives under a bridge
- A Concerned Mother who does not appreciate how other trolls are treating their little kids who don't belong on the interwebz in the first place.
- People who edit Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- Anyone who disagrees with a Wikipedia administrator.
- Telemarketer, also known as phone troll, bred to destroy your dinner time for lulz. See Telemarketers/Phone Trollers
- The terrible movie that had a sequal (see: Troll 2) that was so bad it was good.
[edit] Hater
Hater is YouTube for troll. Being a bunch of illiterate trailer trash, your average YouTube blogger is unaware that internets exist outside of YouTube. Quite possibly because most of those internets require better than a third grade reading level to successfully navigate.
Trolling YouTube is deceptively simple. Just wait for some schmuck to post a video whining and crying over something nobody cares about (9/11) and post a response video calling them a drama whore. YouTubers are still naively sheltered from the realities of the internet making their reactions even more lulzy. It's kind of cute.
[edit] Griefer
A video game species of troll. Griefers are unable to resort to the time-honored techniques of text-driven drama and, as such, have concentrated on ruining the game experience for others. This takes many forms, from breaching the fourth wall on roleplaying servers, to filling in-game chat windows with commentary about monkey fucking.
Then, of course, are the spawn campers, the lag-fags, and lets not forget the cheaters and the glitchers.
Griefers can often be ingenious in finding ways to annoy people, but more often than not they're just fuckwits.
myg0t is one of the most successful and well-respected raging (griefing) organizations.
[edit] Unsuccessful Troll
Any troll who succumbs to troll's remorse, apologizes, or otherwise fails to deliver the lulz. A troll must never admit that they are a troll (especially whilst trolling), otherwise they have failed.
[edit] Troll for a Day (TFAD)
Found on those rare well-heeled (adults with no lives) boards such as Yahoo's SCO board. A board may suffer from group think and stagnate. One poster will create a new pseudonym and log in to tweak the other posters into a flame war. The Troll for a Day will announce they are a TFAD (TFADing) and everyone will congratulate the regular after getting over their murderous impulses. Posters on message boards who have experienced this behavior will immediately try to label all newbies as "TFADs". These trolls are often pussies.
[edit] Techniques
Some techniques:
- Always use proper grammar. If you cast the illusion of literacy, your bullshit will be taken seriously for that much longer.
- Choose an insane idea and STICK WITH IT. Ignore all other arguments and any other form of logic or common sense.
- Kidnapping Jew soldiers. Classic Hezbollah troll for inciting Holy War and for Ninja Evangelist Christians trying to jump-start The Rapture.[2]
- Use many sock puppets to try to convince everyone that someone at random is a troll.
- Fifty Hitler Post
- Fake journals
- HAGGER?????????????????
- Crapflooding
- Posting offensive links or images and claiming they are work safe
- Using the word abortion in a sentence
- Making a conservatism post in liberal comm or vice versa
- Suing someone in Internet court
- Hacker
- Inane flame
- Ministry of truth
- Mail lists
- Sprinkle "citation needed" tags into user comments on Wikipedia talk pages.
- Google Drop their name all over the Internets.
- Posting an offensive image as the userpage for a new user via administrative means on AE and then locking the page so it cannot be edited.
- Even making the suggestion that racist stereotypes are, in fact, with merit.
[edit] The Troll's Prayer
A prayer for trolls made for the lulz.
Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray thee not my trollz to take. And if I die before I wake I pray thee lord those jews to bake. It's burning, it's roaring; The jews are all mourning. I stuck one on a pyre And set him on fire Lived he not to see the next morning. One, two, gas a jew Three, four, gas them more Five, six, get them fixed Seven, eight, lay the bait Nine, ten, gas them again! Mister Jewish Lilo Biked down the ass fault road Up came a car and knocked poor lilo out Out came the sun and dried up all the blood And now Mister Jewish Lilo Is no longer about. Lilo was a little jew little jew little jew Lilo was a little jew His dong was short you know - Everywhere that lilo went lilo went lilo went Everywhere that lilo went that jew would sleep with hoes - Next he took the greedy way greedy way greedy way Next he took the greedy way And launched campaign spinhome - Laughing, he went bike riding bike riding bike riding Laughing, he went bike riding The rest we're glad to know. One little, two little, three little furries Four little, five little, six little furries Seven little, eight little, nine little furries Ten little furry fags. KILL EM! Ten little, nine little, eight little furries Seven little, six little, five little furries Four little, three little, two little furries One little furry fag. ANYONE WANT TO DO THE HONORS?
[edit] Famous Trolls
- Ashi moto
- Blu Aardvark
- Chadwardenn
- Dad's dog's leg
- Fred Phelps
- Grawp
- Hagger
- Odumcarlock
- Ray8787
- Rfjason
- Stephen Colbert
- Tara Gilesbie
- Weev
Trolls in RPGs
In Dungeons & Dragons, trolls take full damage from acid and fire. Because trolls have green rubbery flesh and naturally enhanced regeneration, damage caused by slashing, piercing or bludgeoning is halved.
In World of Warcraft, Trolls are a powerful race of giant green bean people that live in towering can cities. They worship the almighty Jolly Green Giant.
All this RPG troll stuff came from trolls in Norse mythology. Lolki, god of mischief (among other things), invented trolling and shitty tribal art tattoos.
However, none of this is important, because everyone knows D&D and WoW are for gays.
[edit] Gallery
 This replaced the other one. |
 Successful troll is still successful. |
 Success! |
 Troll approaches |
 Obvious troll is rather obvious. |
 Typical trolls |
 A common reaction to trolling. |
 Troll for your country. |
 When the trolls get out of hand. |
 Well fed trolls will destroy us all, even this column |
 They be hatin'. Lulzkilling and tryna catch me ridin' dirty. |
 Trolls NEVAR forget. |
 They never travel alone. |
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 Trolling pedos never gets old. |
 Srsly. He fell for it. |
 What it amounts to |
 Listen to the dog. |
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 Trolling national television is also a valid option. |
 Dorian Thorn trolls hard. |
 When a troll succeedes, he often makes this face IRL. |
 What trolls want you to believe. |
 Your average internet troll at work |
 Words of wisdom |
[edit] See Also
- ZOG an ancient race of IRL trolls
- A serious discussion on the history of trolls
- Preventative measures against trolls
- Legendary ruin status
- Trolling IRL
- Self-troll
- Trolls Trolling Trolls
- Successful troll is successful
- Obvious troll is obvious
- SpleeNfat's Guide to Successful Trolling
- Don't feed the trolls
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Troll is part of a series on Trolls. |
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